I can't hear you!
S4 E2Cotton's Plot
S4 E3Bills Are Made to Be Broken
(Trying to put on his old football helmet) Hank, how did my head get so fat?
S4 E4Little Horrors of Shop
CMCarl Moss
We don't have money for all these fancy teaching aides... like wood.
You know, the Carl Moss I knew wouldn'--
CMCarl Moss
Give it a rest, Hank. All parents care about these days is zero-tolerance drug policies and literacy. "Why can't Johnny read?" "Why can't Johnny read?" God, that gets old.
But Carl, shop is the foundation of all learning. And I'll tell you what, a youngster with a tool in both hands has no hands left to do drugs.
CMCarl Moss
(exasperated) They'll just put the tools down if they want to do the drugs bad enough.
Using a saw for a weapon makes about as much sense as using a gun to cut a two-by-four. That's how my dad built my treehouse... how he cleaned it, too.
(Hank has stated that he won't be able to continue teaching shop)
But that shouldn't stop you from pursuing your own dreams of wood, plywood, pressed fiberboard, and, if you've got the talent, metal! Y'see, shop doesn't have to happen in any special place - as long as it's well lit, and the outlets are grounded. Because shop is bigger than any classroom, or garage, or stupid policy that makes tools illegal - it's in our hearts.
S4 E5Aisle 8A
Well, um, you see, uhh...
What?
(Reading the note) 'Mr. Hill, I just got my first period.' Bwaaaaah!
S4 E6A Beer Can Named Desire
Well, I need a window seat because this flower is wiltin'.
Oh, Lord. All right, everyone in the car now.
[dressed up as a hotel waiter] I do believe I'll give room service a jangle and have them send up some etouffe. [stares at Hank]
Noooooo!!!!! [Hank throws his clothes out the window.]
Nice weekend, Bill?
BOTH of 'em!
S4 E7Hank's Giving Episode
Dale (to John Redcorn): Hey do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving?
(bitterly) We did, once.
[Due to inclement weather, the Hills' flight to Montana is delayed]
Hank(on phone): No Mother Platter, I am not calling from the plane. Those phones are only for emergencies. We merely had a small delay on takeoff.
Hank, is that my mother? I want to let her know to have all the ingredients for my brown betty, which I have made every year from 1976 until the year I die, inclusive. I will need margarine and not butter.
[Platter Ranch]
MPMa Platter
Is that Peggy? Tell her we use butter in this house!
[Hank hangs up]
She got butter, didn't she?
S4 E8Not In My Backhoe
It's a shame we have to put her in the ground.
I am the hoe master! hear me hoe! [nearly runs over Hank and Bill and damages Bill's wall]
(Talking into tape recorder) 10:15. Hank picks up Hal.
What?
(On tape recorder) 10:15. Hank picks up Hal.
(On tape recorder) What?
I said, "10:15, Hank picks up Hal!"
S4 E9To Kill A Ladybird
Bobby, you name a pet, you name a guitar, but you do not name a filthy animal!
[while standing on a tree branch] This...isn't...over. So long, suckers! [caws like a bird]
[while laying face down in the dirt] Hank, I can see your house from up here.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.