John Redcorn quotes from King of the Hill

John Redcorn

Hank, this is an important ritual among my people. Don't half-ass it.

John Redcorn

I think I know why you're here. Your wife came to me with a headache. (Hank glares at him) A real headache. Her head actually hurt!

Peggy Hill

Mix pineapple juice and club soda, and you've got yourself a big bucket of crap.

Peggy Hill

You hear the expression "Lie like a dog" so much it is almost a cliché.

Peggy Hill

(contemptuously) Well, well, well Jo-hon Redcorn!

John Redcorn

Oh, Peggy. Nancy's headache's very severe this morning, um... must be the pollen.

Peggy Hill

Well, well, well.

John Redcorn

...Well.

Peggy Hill

Jo-hon Redcorn!

John Redcorn

(awkwardly) Pe-he-ggy Hill.

Dale Gribble

I know what YOU'RE HERE FOR!

John Redcorn

Dale! This isn't how I want you to find out!

Dale Gribble

Quit screwing with my mower.

John Redcorn

You've got to be kidding!

Dale Gribble

I don't kid about my mower. Now, you get inside and start massaging my wife.

John Redcorn

(to Nancy) He's taking some of the fun out of this.

John Redcorn

(bitterly) We did, once.

Peggy

Hank, is that my mother? I want to let her know to have all the ingredients for my brown betty, which I have made every year from 1976 until the year I die, inclusive. I will need margarine and not butter.

Is that Peggy? Tell her we use butter in this house!

Peggy

She got butter, didn't she?

Hank

Hey, John Redcorn.

John Redcorn

Hank.

Hank

Uh, yeah, John Redcorn, I had a dream last night. You got a minute?

John Redcorn

Come in. I'll brew some chamomile tea.

Hank

...and the woman in my dreams, the one without the clothing, was not my wife. And needless to say that is not a dream I intended to have.

John Redcorn

My people believe that dreams of the unconscious mind trying to solve a problem with the conscious mind cannot. Is there anything unusual going on with you?

Hank

Nope. Everything's the same as it's always been for as long as I can remember. Yep, same old, same old.

John Redcorn

Is it possible that after 20 years of marriage, you're a little tired of your wife?

Hank

What?! That's crazy! Our romantic life is as good as the day we were married. It hasn't changed a bit. Yep, we've got a great routine. If I were bored of Peggy, I'd be having dreams in which I was bored of Peggy, not grilling naked with the neighbor's wife.

John Redcorn

(laughs) Minh.

Hank

Uh, no.

John Redcorn

It's Nancy? My Nancy? You're having dirty dreams about my sweet Nan-Nan?

Hank

Say, is that a new suede vest?

John Redcorn

Nancy used to like it when I kept the vest on during sex. Do you want it?

Hank

Oh, God!

John Redcorn

Here, take it! Take it all!

Hank

Bah!

John Redcorn

(crying)

John Redcorn

[carrying a tray of red corn] Hello gentlemen. Would you like to try John Redcorn's Red Corn?

Hank

You got yourself some mighty good corn here, John Redcorn.

Dale

Nancy would love this. Have you given it to her, yet?

John Redcorn

I've been giving it to Nancy for... quite some time.

John Redcorn

... and now that my land is wild hog free, John Redcorn's Texas-Grown Red Corn will have a projected operating profit margin of 38%. So, Hills, what do you say?

Hank

What does the Hill Family Inc. CFO say? After all, she's the reason we still have dividends left to invest.

Peggy

She says, it is tint for Hill Family Inc. got into bed with John Redcorn.

Hank

Uhhh- John Redcorn's Red Corn. The corn. She means the business, not you. I just want to be very clear.