Look for the Man with the Terrible Smell!
S3 E21Revenge of the Lutefisk
Ah leave it to a woman to turn god's house into a love shack.
(out of breath) Grandpa! Dad! Mom!... It was... it was ME! (remorsefully) It's all my fault! I ate the Lutefisk! I got sick in the bathroom! I lit the matches! I burned down the church! I let everyone blame Grandpa!...
I told you I didn't do it. Your boy is the Man with the Terrible Smell!
(crestfallen sigh)
I knew it, I knew this was too good to be true.
[Peggy removes a cassette from an audio recorder and begins destroying the tape]:
(sternly) Bobby, you are gonna march down that hall and tell the police everything. See if maybe they will spare your grandfather's life.
(resigned) Okay...
[Cotton slams his cuffed hands on the table]:
Nobody's goin' no place! Siddown Hank, Hank's Wife - (turns to Bobby) You too, Stinky!
Hey, don't call him that!
(sarcastically) Oh, I'm sorry! Did I hurt your feelings, Stinky?
Grandpa?
It don't feel so good, does it? Well, get used to it, 'cuz that's what everyone's gonna call you if you go blabbing to the po-lice...Stinky!
He's right. Oh Lord, and there are other names, too!
Yeah, how 'bout "arsonist"? That's what they'll be calling him in State of Texas v. Bobby Hill!
So many names...what are we gonna do?
You'll do what I say is what are you gonna do. Now get the cops in here. Tell 'em I'm ready to confess.
No, Dad, you can't!
I'm an old man, everybody already hates me. But Bobby, he's just a child; he's got his whole life ahead of him!
(moved) ...Cotton, do you know what you're saying?
If I can take a bullet for my grandson, I'll do it. But not in the face; that's how I make my livings.
How you make your-?
(interrupting) Send 'em in!
S3 E22Death and Texas
All sloppy and no Joe.
S3 E23Wings of the Dope
(After a trampoline falls on his foot) Aah! This is a sign that we have been playing God with Buckley's trampoline and now God is playing God with us, and He's a whole lot better at it. I refuse to touch this portal to hell!
[Hank is hanging around Buckley's trampoline. Dale peeks out his window and yells:]
Run, Hank! Portal to Hell!
[Dale quickly closes his curtains.]
[Luanne is waiting for Buckley by the trampoline, listening to "Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground," and starts to cry. Peggy comes out and puts her hand on Luanne's shoulder.]
Where is he? Buckley always did this to me. One time we were supposed to go see Color Me Badd and he never showed up. I was looking forward to that concert all week and when I told him, he just said "chicken beak." [pause] He better not be guardianin' some other girl. Maybe I should drop out of beauty school.
What? Luanne, you have wanted to go to beauty school since you were six. You have wanted to graduate beauty school since you were twelve. If you give up on school, honey, you are giving up on your dreams. "Education is the sleeping pill that makes dreams happen." - Peggy Hill.
[Buckley has returned one final time and Luanne sits with him on the trampoline.]
I just wanted to say I'm sorry I bailed out of the car.
I knew you weren't really a jerk.
Yeah. Well, I gotta go. Jesus is having a party tonight. It's gonna rock.
There will probably be a lot of people there. But if you see Jesus, tell him I said thanks. [pause] Goodbye Buckley.
Um, before I go - could I have one last kiss?
[Luanne nods. Buckley kisses her hard and begins to feel her sides; his wings flutter before she breaks away.]
No, that part's over.
Why?
Chicken thigh.
[last lines]
KKahn
Buckley's Angel? Buckley's Angel! [runs by the trampoline] Oh, I'm so alone! I have to commute to Houston every day -- that city one big stinkhole! Did I make the right decision, Buckley's Angel? Oh, Buckley's Angel! Why you not come to me instead of that redneck little hot potato? Buckley's Angel? NOW!!! COME RIGHT NOW!!!
S3 E24Take Me Out of the Ball Game
I'll tell you what; man, let's play some dang ol' ball!
S3 E25As Old As The Hills
Ooh! It's got hair!
S4 E1Part II:Peggy Hill: The Decline and Fall
Push! Push!
Doctor: It's all right. The baby's here.
What's his name?
I'm callin' him "Hank." I've always wanted a boy named Hank.
Uh... Dad, Hank is my name.
Not anymore, I'm takin' it back! HE'S Hank!
You can't take away a grown man's name.
All right, all right. I'm callin' him "Good Hank."
Dad, this isn't right. If you call him Good Hank, it's gonna make it sound like I'm Bad Hank.
Well, you burnt my burgers, didn't you, B.H.?!?
(baby-talking to G.H.) You wanna kill a Nazi? You wanna kill a Nazi? A Nazi-Squazzi?
Bobby... could you buy me some lottery tickets?
(Outraged yelp) I AM A TWELVE-YEAR-OLD BOY! I AM THIS CHILD'S NEPHEW! I CANNOT DO THIS! I CAN NOT DO THIS!
Bobby gives G.H. to Didi, who is taken aback by Bobby's outburst. Bobby begins walking to the front door.
If anyone makes any dinner, I'll eat. BUT THAT'S IT! ALL I'LL DO IS EAT!!
Bobby leaves and slams the front door behind him.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's King of the Hill pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.