Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

All of you, just stop! You make yourself look so stupid. And look, the food dying. It's like a funeral in here. Do me one big favour: Get out. GET OUT! We'll (himself, Scott and Andi) cook. Get out. Andi, Scott, let's go [The women and the remaining men leave the kitchen]

(interview) Let's throw a whole bunch of chicks in to the mix and maybe it'll make everything all better. No, it made it worse, too many cooks in the kitchen man!

Crab cake, aiyayay. (returns to the workstation) Excuse me! All of you, come here! This is what you've just served me! Just look at that, look. They're not even crispy, touch that on top. They're soggy. THEY'RE SOGGY!! It's like I've eaten it and sent it back!

(interview) The only thing Emily had to make is crab cakes. My 6-year old could do this.

Give it back. I'll make new ones.

OH, MY GOD!!

Yes, chef.

(to Jillian) Jillian, three fucking salad, fresh!

Okay, chef. (interview) Emily sucks.

Meanwhile, in the Blue kitchen...

Boris? How many crab cakes have you got in the pan?

Ten altogether chef.

Boris is getting a little ahead of himself.

There's only two away and you just cook me ten. Boris?

Yes, chef?

I fired two, I got ten. Is this the sign of things to come?

(interview) Boris started firing like a gang-bang on crab cakes. It is like, "dude, learn to count."

Look at me! We'll do one table at a time, it's not a race! Common sense, gentlemen!

Yes, chef. Understood.

Fresh crab cakes, let's go!

While Boris is now cooking his crab cakes to order, in the Red kitchen, Melissa has already moved onto entrées.

[sees Melissa pulling out a tray full of filets from the oven] What in the fuck...

Unfortunately, her team is not even close to completing the appetizers.

Melissa.

Yes, chef?

WHAT IS THAT?! ALL OF YOU, come here!

(interview) Melissa had put in a huge pile of filets in the oven. Apps weren't even done yet. I don't even know what to do in this situation.

We've sent three tables of appetisers, and you're sticking all the beef in the oven!

(interview) Why the hell would you do that? I wouldn't even do that.

Do you want to go home? Why don't you make my life easier and just fuck off home? You can't be normal! (starts counting the filets) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...

(interview) Oh, my God!

...7, 8, 9, 10, 11...

(interview) Stupid!

...12, 13, 14, 15, 16...

(interview) Oh, HELL no!

...17, 18, 19, 20, 21...

(interview) What the hell are you doing, lady?

There's 23 on the board, chef.

SO WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU COOKING THEM NOW?! (no response from Melissa) Nona, WHY?!

I don't know, chef.

It doesn't make sense! They're gone, they're overcooked.

Yes, chef.

I can't do it anymore with you. You need a system! THERE'S NO SYSTEM!!! I CAN'T KEEP ON TELLING YOU EVERY FUCKING SERVICE!!! [slams the table]

Yes, chef. (interview) Sometimes, I just go stupid. But I'm better than this. I just have to show Chef Ramsay that I have what it takes.

Madness!

Melissa, scallop salad, how long?

I'm all out of scallops chef.

What?!

I cooked the shit out of all the scallops. I fucked the team chef.

What the fuck are we doing? (gets the rejected scallops on Melissa's station) Oh, my God...

That's all the scallops!

Oh, my God.

Just come here, all of you. Stop. All of you, Vinny! (gives the plate of scallops to Russell) Take the plate, take the fucking plate! Pass it around!

Seven pounds of scallops.

(interview) She just can't cook.

(interview) Melissa must have cooked about ten pounds of scallops, all cooked off to the garbage.

(interview) It is just fucking embarrassing.

[gives Gordon a ticket] It's your family.

Here we go. On order: six covers, table one.

Yes, chef!

Three wings, one mozzarella, one risotto, one truffle salad.

Yes, chef!

My family!

(interview) We better get this fucking order right.

Let's go, guys yes?

Three wings, one mozz is coming chef. Vinny, are you ready on the risotto?

No, no.

Vinny, I need the fucking risotto! What are you doing?

(interview) I can't sit there and [waves his hands] go like this and have my risottos' magically finish.

Hurry up Vinny! We've got to go up now!

Yes, chef. (interview) I grabbed the risotto I had just sent up for the previous table. There's nothing wrong with it.

Yo, I'm going up with the risotto, guys!

No, that's not fair. That's old! Trying to get away. Hey bozo, come here you.

Yes, chef. What happened?

Shut your fat East-Coast mouth.

Yes, chef.

This table that you just sent me that shit for happens to be my family!

(interview) Oh, no. What are you doing?

And even if it's not my family, they deserve a fresh risotto. Look at me--

Yes, chef.

--you dirty little fucker! If you can't be bothered to do it, fuck off out of here! Do you want to go home? Whether it's my family or not, if your family were here, or your family were here, or your family, I'd make YOUR family or YOUR wife or YOUR children a fresh FUCKING risotto! He sneaks that in there. Yeah. That's the shit I served five minutes ago!

Okay, refire guys!

Everybody's really happy, apart from your family.

Apart from my family? Come on, Vinny!

(interview) Yes, chef. Sorry, chef, won't happen again. That's all he wants to hear and I'll fix it.

IT'S MY FAMILY'S ORDER! One salmon, one beef, one macaroni and cheese, one bolognese, two burgers.

Let's go, guys. Let's make it happen.

The men are scrambling to get entrees out to chef Ramsay's family.

Chef, I'm coming up with the salmon.

Two beef coming up to the pass. Two burgers, one bolognese up.

Where's the macaroni (and cheese), please?

All right, I'm a little behind right now on garnish.

Oh, COME ON.

(interview) I am in the weeds so high, I don't know which way is up. (sighs)

When are we gonna get a little help on this garnish, man?

As soon as I can breathe.

(interview) Russell claims he was in the weeds and couldn't get to me. What did Russ do-- a few chicken fingers and two burgers? FUCK THAT! How dare he not slide to help me? I'm pissed.

I'm behind, and we're gonna be fuck on an own doesn't jump with me here.

(interview) I don't know where he got off thinking that we were gonna be his bitch tonight, but that was definitely not my role. I'm here to do my job. I'm not here to babysit you.

Ah, you fucker!

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

(to Rob) Come on, Rob!

All the men need to complete the Ramsay family table is Rob's macaroni and cheese.

(to Vinny) Vinny, get your ass over here. He's weeded. He's weeded bad. What do you mean? (to Rob) Two macaronis! Get him two macaronis. LET'S GO! You got two people working on your station. Now I do, it doesn't matter. Now you do, so don't put up dog shit!

So if he's not ready, then FUCK HIM! (referring Rob) I'll send it separate, okay?

Service, please. [four of the five orders served to the Ramsay family] Come on, guys. Keep it together! In England, we eat at the same fucking time.

(to son Jack) What did you have, Jack?

I am having the macaroni and cheese.

(to Rob) Come on, Rob. It's my family. My son's still waiting for the macaroni and cheese. Now I'm worried now.

(interview) Here we go again, dinner service is going horrible.

(gasps) Fuck you.

Rob, come on!

Come on!

[holds a tickets waiting for his son's macaroni and cheese] Rob, move your ass! Hurry up!

Come on, Rob!

Yes, chef.

All of you, come here! What night is this? What fucking night?

Important night of the year!

Yeah, the most important night. Is this the most important gnocchi you've ever cooked?!

No, it's not.

Fuck off will you? (slams the pan on the workstation)

Come on, Trev.

What is that?

(interview) That looks like a big-ass booger.

Oh, my God.

Wake up, Trevor! Nothing's coming out! ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT! WAKE UP!

(to Trev) My lobster's up and you have no garnish.

(interview) Get off my pass and let me cook!

(to Holli) Trev is gone tonight. What do you think?

Yeah.

What do you need Trev?

(interview) This is not what he needs. Trev sucks. Dude, are you stoned? Like, did you smoke a joint before you came in here?

Trevor, you can't serve with those carrots in a burned pan.

Oh, no. I am going to fucking fix it.

I'll help you!

Do not help me! Get the fuck out of my ass! Don't fucking help me!

(interview) He is so stupid.

Does anybody need help right now? I'm good on app(etizer)s.

Could use a hand over here, definitely.

Here's your shallots.

How many are on the garnish? One... two... three of you. Sabrina garnish, Nona garnish! Trev, what are you doing?

Working it chef.

(to Gail) Gail, go over to the garnish as well, and might as well.

(interview) I've never seen Chef Ramsay called over the entire kitchen to help one person. Ridiculous. [to Trev] The squash is burning.

The squash is what? Burning? [facepalms]

Three broccolini, one squash! One squash is in!

Where's the fucking broccolini?

Dude, Trev, you have to put the basket down or it's gonna stick.

Nona!

Yes, chef!

Give me three broccolini! (to Trev) Hey, you, come here! I haven't sent one garnish out at the same (slams fist on the workstation) fucking time! I haven't sent them out yet! Do me a favour: Fuck off back and get some fresh air!

(interview) I'm pissed at myself, 'cos I'm supposed to be the guy that can do anything. I feel like shit because I've let them down. They expected me to be Superman, and Clark Kent showed up.

(to Scott) Is it cooked?

Uh, it's cooked alright. Half of it is mush on the outside and the center's well done.

Uh oh.

[returns the lobster to the workstation] On a night like tonight! You (Rob) keep me dragging for the chicken! You (Boris) keep me dragging for the appetisers, then Vinny sends me this.

I'll fix it.

(sarcastically) "I'll fix it."

(interview) We're going down in a heap like a California mud-slide.

Chicken?

(brings his chicken to the pass) Going up with the chicken!

It's pink. [returns the chicken to the workstation] All of you, come here!

(interview) Uh-oh. It's fucking chicken, Rob.

Pink, pink, don't dare touch it... pink, pink. All of you! What are we doing here? [Shows the faces of Boris, Russell, Christina & Rock, the people in the dining room, Danny & Holli, Vinny & Rob] GET OUT! Get out of here. [angrily throws his spoon at the Blue team as they exit the kitchen] GET OUT!

[points at red kitchen] They're on their fifth ticket, you're on your second.

(to Rob) Step it up.

We gotta come back from this. Let's go. Push it out!

Come on, Rob!

Yes, chef.

Move it, big boy!

Yes, chef.

Rob, (claps) MOVE!

Yes, chef! (brings scallops to the pass)

[checks scallops with Sous Chef Scott] There's no colour on there.

He's just not starting with the pan hot enough.

[returns to workstation] I've got no fucking colour on my SCALLOPS! [angrily drops plate] FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

(interview) Come on! Let's get through a fucking service, please!

They're raw, Rob!

I gave them a minute each side!

What's that gotta do with it? Where's your oil? They're fucking raw! [starts cooking Rob's raw scallops] You take them out when they're fucking cooked! Their table's eating bar one!

(interview) Ninth service, and Rob still can't cook scallops.

Rob, the largest one is the thickest one, so that comes out last.

(interview) I mean, Rob... Are you a complete fucking idiot?

Sorry about the delay, let's go.

That won't happen again, guys. I got it.

[returns to workstation] Fuck! Off! Yeah, come on. (to Rob) Come here you. Look at that. It's like split vomit. Look at that. Hold on, it gets worse. [splits one halibut in half] Raw. [angrily throws the halibut away on the workstation] Fuck off!

DAMMIT, LET'S GO! FOCUS!

Sorry, bro. Sorry.

Quit saying sorry and just go! Guys, we need to GO!

Here we go, yet again. Nothing's coming out! Hey, (Rob) you! Come here, you! Come here, come here you. Come here, you. [leads Rob into the dining room]

(interview) Here goes Rob. Bye, Rob.

You've got five minutes to wake up, otherwise you're history. [Rob and Gordon head back into the kitchen] Hey, hey, hey, hey, big boy. And I mean five minutes! I'LL DO IT MY FUCKING SELF, AND I'LL DO IT ON THE SECTION MYSELF AND I'LL RUN THE FUCKING HOT PLATE ON MY FUCKING OWN!

Hey look at me! You are not evening listening! I'm trying to help you!

I know chef and I am taking on what your are saying!

It (Three Beef) should be fucking seared by NOW!

Yes Chef!

It will help if the pan was on!

It's on Chef!

Fuck off will you! (Starts walking down to Nona's Station) Get out of my WAY! Look (Red Team) at that! Does that look hot enough to sear three beef? Let me show you (Nona) something! LOOK! There you go! (Takes the three beef out of the pan showing that the pan is not hot enough) It's hot Chef! (Sarcastically)

I just put them IN!

Get out the way. (Nona walks back slowly) Get out my fucking way. Get out my fucking way. (Nona is at the back of the kitchen) GET OUT MY WAY!

I'm not in your way!

FUCK OFF UPSTAIRS THEN!

Alright, fine. (leaves the kitchen)

FUCK OFF! (Nona leaves and returns to dorms)

Jillian!

Yes Chef!

Start working that station (meat)!

Yes Chef!

Who cooked the gnocchi?

I did chef.

Yeah, crispy one side and raw. They're raw underneath. [throws the gnocchi away] Hey!

I'll fix it.

Hey, GET OUT! Fix your fucking hair! Fuck off out upstairs, get out! Fuck off!

(interview) Of all the things, fucking gnocchi. Gnocchi of all things.

Garnish is in the window! [brings his garnish to the pass]

Coming to the window with chicken! [brings his chicken to the pass]

[checking Russell's chicken] My fucking head's throbbing! [returns to the workstation] (to Russell) That is raw!

Can I send this one?

Get out, Russell! Get out! Because the chicken's raw! (to Rob) Hey, big boy. One more fuck-up, you're next. Except it won't be up there, it'll be [points at dining room] FUCKING STRAIGHT OUT THERE!

(interview) Chef Ramsay's pissed! Fuming! We're going down like a sinking ship, and there are no lifeboats left.