Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Boris, Raj. Step forward. Unbelievable! [brief pause] Wait a second. Somebody else needs to be up here. [another brief pause] Vinny, step forward! [Vinny stands in between Boris and Raj] I am PISSED! You have no right to recommend to the guests not to have a side with an entrée!

After my first table waited nearly two hours for their appetizers, I just wanted them to have an opportunity to experience some of your food. That's what they came here for.

Entrées on that menu are designed to go with sides! Is that clear?

Yes, chef.

Raj, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

I should stay in Hell's Kitchen, chef, Because I am being falsely accused and I'm getting more familiar with everything and it's going to be good and it just need a little more time I'm a slow learner.

Yes, chef.

Get a good night's sleep, because seven of you need to fight back. Quickly!

Yes, chef.

Now FUCK OFF!

(interview) The blue team should get used to getting their asses kicked. They're like little dominoes and the red team is gonna knock each one of them out. (laughs)

(interview) I'm there scrambling trying to save my fucking guys' asses and they threw me under not only the bus. They threw me under the train, the plane, the helicopter, and the... fucking buggy.

(interview) I know that the guys in my team are shitting in their pants knowing that Raj is going to destroy them. [gets up and points to the camera] I'M HERE TO STAY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, 'CAUSE I AM THE BEST! [falls off his interview chair] WHAAAOW! [climbs back up to the chair] HAAA!

[to himself, after everyone has returned to the dorms] God. (voiceover) Curtis might have been a good old boy, but unfortunately, he wasn't good at cooking.

We haven't sent one table yet!

Raj, where's the scrambled egg?

Okay. (brings his scrambled eggs to the pass)

(tastes) Hey guys, guys. Come here. All of you, come here! Quick! Hurry up! (pushes Raj out of his way) Get out of the way. Get out of the way. Oooh, get out of the way. Taste it. Taste it. Taste it, taste it, taste it, taste it! Not an OUNCE of seasoning!

What do you—?!

We're doing it again! Don't argue with chef!

(interview) Don't talk back to chef. He says something, you say "Yes, chef" and move on. That's it.

Say that again? Hey, say that again? Say–say–don't spit fucking scrambled egg in my face! Say that again?! Say that again?!

Yes, chef.

There's not an ounce of fucking seasoning in there. These guys save lives for a living, yeah, and you're about to fuck up their breakfast. Got it?

Yes, chef! (interview) Chef Ramsay's like "Oh, my God! THERE'S NO SALT! THERE'S NO PEPPER!" and I'm like "What the–?" (to his teammates) Go ahead, go ahead, go! Go! (interview) I thought I seasoned it, chef, correctly. But no. Obviously I didn't.

Why's he cooking scrambled egg when he can't even season it?

(interview) I tried to make some sense out of this intense chaos. [goes into the pantry and puts his head in the refrigerator] I got to cool off somehow. (interview) I tried to clear my head by sticking my head in the refrigerator... but I couldn't.

RAJ, MOVE YOUR FAT FUCKING ASS!! (to blue team) Somebody take control, please!!

Raj, haven't given up on you. However, push it tonight.

Yes, chef.

Come back.

Yes, chef.

And stay out the fucking fridge.

Yes, chef.

What's wrong with that?

Red team, salty.

Oh, dear. (returns to the workstation) Ladies.

Yes, chef?

Now it's coming back, salty! (tosses the plate on the workstation) Wow!

While the blue team...

Salmon!

The salmon's ready.

...has moved on to entrées.

And it's perfect! (interview) I have personally cooked thousands and thousands and thousands of pieces of salmon in my life.

What's that in there? Wh-what...?

That's not grilled.

Oh, dear. Raj! What's that? What is that stock he's putting in that salmon?

It's supposed be grilled, dude.

Yeah, I grilled it, and then I finished it with a little bit of sauce.

No sauce, bro. [Gordon drains the contents of the pan onto Raj's worktop and drops the pan] C'mon, get another one going, bro!

(interview) My personal techniques are not working for Chef Ramsay.

Disgusting!

(interview) He's the chef, it's his opinion, and I have zero opinion.

Start over.

Raj's cooking techniques aren't cutting in with Chef Ramsay. And in the Red kitchen...

(with an overcooked Dover Sole) Melissa, it's overcooked!

...neither are Melissa's.

Out it comes, look at that. Overcooked on the bottom, crispy as fuck, and it looks like Gandhi's flip-flop! (drops the Dover Sole) What a shame!

(interview) I don't know where he comes up with this stuff! Gandhi didn't even wear flip-flops, he lived in the jungle, I don't think the dude even had shoes.

Look it underneath! [knocks his hand on the workstation]

(interview) Shit!

As Melissa starts over with her Dover sole, guests on both sides of the dining room continue to wait, but not for long. In the blue kitchen...

Where's the salmon?!

T-two seconds.

Raj is ready with his second attempt on the salmon.

Two seconds! One, two!

I mean uhm, thirty sec-I mean, uhm, one minute.

Well... almost ready.

Just concentrate. I don't want a blah-blah-blah.

I'm sorry to say that, but it's true.

What a fucking bozo!

Here it is. Here it is. [brings his salmon to the pass, Gordon checks it; finds that it's raw]

Oh, dear. Raj! Come here you. It's, raw. [angrily smashes the raw salmon] It's fucking RAW!!!

(interview) Come on, man!

IT'S RAW!!!

(interview) The guy can't change his underwear the right way.

We haven't even served the fucking entrée, but I need to get food out!

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Chef, can I—would you mind if I said something, chef, or no?

[plugs his ears] Not to me, you're not.

No, don't say a damn thing. Just finish your tickets.

You know the salmon I gave you that you smashed, right? (interview) I'm not this timid man who's just going to sit back and just say, "Okay, chef." [to Gordon] You know, I'm going to try to make a case for myself. Really, chef, really.

We're in the middle of service right now and I just want food. SHUT IT!

(interview) But, um... it's-it's hard. (to his team mates) I got it now. Go ahead! Go, go!

Hey, what do you think this is? A talk show?!

No, no.

COOK YOUR FUCKING DISH, AND SHUT YOUR FAT MOUTH!!

Yes, chef.

Vinny, get a piece of salmon on there, yes?

Yes, chef. (interview) Raj just cannot cook at all, anything, ever. (to Russell) Give me a time. (interview) So I have to go over and do it for him. (brings Raj's salmon to the pass) Hot behind, salmon on the pass.

Perfect, let's go.

Thanks to Vinny, Raj's salmon is finally on its way out to the dining room.

Chef, hold on. (on his wellingtons) It's raw.

Oh, come on.

I can't give you raw meat. I'm sorry chef.

Thanks to Boris, no food is leaving the Blue kitchen.

There you go, send it back.

But thanks to Raj, none of them are going to waste.

(interview) I see all this food, and it looks delicious, so I just, you know, ate it.

Raj, please don't do that.

Look, he's eating it, look! Haven't you got enough in there?

But that's so good! It's really a waste.

Wow!

No. I mean — just a quick little bite. It's really tasty.

Ah, fucking hell.

(interview) How could Chef Ramsay blame me for eating this delicious food? It's fantastic.

While Raj has snack time in the blue kitchen over in the Red kitchen, Gail... [cuts to Gail staring in space]

Gail!

...has nap time.

Wakey-wakey! (sees Gail's meat pan catching fire) You're on fire.

(interview) Oh, my God! There's flames shooting up! And Gail was (sticks her tongue out in disgust) nothing. Nothing's happening.

Gail, out the way! Oh my God. [removes the pan off the burner and throws it into the sink; gets the burnt rib-eye beef] Gail, I think your pan's a bit too hot. [throws the rib-eye back in the sink] You've lost it.

I haven't lost it.

Yes, you - look, you've given up. Body language, face, attitude, you've given up. Anyone that can stand there, and watch a piece of rib-eye beef SET ON FIRE is out of control! You've given up.

Back in the blue kitchen...

Up to the pass with the halibut. (brings his halibut to the pass)

Raj is eager to finally impress Chef Ramsay.

Sorry about the delay, let's go.

(interview) HIIYYYYAAAHHHH! HAH!

Maybe, a little too eager.

[finds that Raj has cooked three other Dover soles] How many have you cooked? One, two, three. Oh my God.

(interview) When I get busy, I just start firing everything. So when they need it, I got it.

What are you doing? Playing the odds? Maybe one will be good out of three?

(interview) But this is Chef Ramsay's kitchen, you can't do that.

Why would I try to fire three tables?

Uhm, yes. Uhm...

(disgusted) Donkey.

Dude, you can't serve this to anybody. He's not going to take that. (interview) Raj cooks three Dover soles before they were even remotely close to... to needing them.

SOLE SPECIAL!

Chef, we ran out of the sole special.

What... [reaches for a ticket] I've got three on OR-DER?!?!

(interview) We ran out of Dover sole? Oh, man. This is going to be real ugly.

Oh, no... [goes near the door and sits in fetal position]

(interview) This sucks. Embarrassing! Fuck!

(interview) It's a very bad situation. I don't know what we're going to do. I think we have to figure something out quickly.

[to Raj] Get out there and tell them you're dragging two! And you go to the customers and tell them you fucked it up!

I need another jacket, though. I can't go out there with this jacket.

Hey come—come here you. If I tell you to get out there, I don't give a fuck if you've got a thong on your fat crack, get out there!

I can't, with this thing. I can't, I'm sorry, chef.

Hey, hey, listen. Fuck off out there, will you?

[removes his apron and goes over to Chef Scott] I can't put this—

PUT IT DOWN, AND GET OUT THERE!

[leaves the kitchen and goes to the diners to apologize] (interview) Couple of things are going to my head. [talks to hungry diners] Hi, my name is Raj.

How's it going back there?

(interview) My God, look at this, I'm a star. [talks to the diners again] I'm terribly sorry, but we ran out of the sole special. (interview) Then the next thing you know, look at this, I'm an idiot. So it's this elation and then this degration. All at the same time. [to the diners] We have other nice fish, though, if you'd like to try that instead.

Sabrina, tell me very quickly, why you should stay in Hell's Kitchen.

I don't think that I should go home. I shouldn't be here, Melissa should be here. Who has been consistently horrible? The executive chef, right there! Emily, yeah, she fucked up and she sucks, but at least she hasn't done as horribly as Melissa.

Take a big, deep breath. I want to know why you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen, yeah? You.

I'm here to learn, and I'm here to grow. I have bigger balls and more determination than any of these fucking girls here! All of them put together chef!

Okay, this is a very difficult decision. The person leaving Hell's Kitchen is... [a pause, then points to the blue team, who won the night's service] Raj. Get your arse over here. [Raj stands up and goes to Gordon, while the assembled Red and Blue team members laugh at him] You, big boy, are out of your league, big time. And I personally can't go an inch further. Jacket. [Raj hands over his jacket, then goes in the direction of Gordon's office; Gordon points him to the actual exit] There's the door there, big boy.

[outside the restaurant] I can't believe it. It's just a shock. I didn't get along with anybody. I didn't get along with Chef Ramsay. I didn't get along with Scott. I didn't like the menu. But it was a great experience. I had a great time, and I'm really glad I did it.

[to the blue team] Relieved?

Oh, man. That was like a reward, bro. Thank you.

(to Melissa) So three three's are what?

[while cooking ravioli] Six.

(shakes his head) Oh...

Oh, three three--nine! Yes!

And you've got-- hey, come here you. Come here. Three three's are six?

No--I was counting the pans, chef. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm watching you like a hawk. Do you know why? You can't even count to nine. You scare me.

(interview) What the fuck is she doing over there? Melissa can't handle it.

Two three's are six. Three three's are what?

Nine.

(interview) Do you want me to come over there and cook for you?

Right now, get it together, and we need to focus!

Yes, chef.

Blue team, Table 3.

[finds that the pizza is burnt on the bottom; returns and slams the pizza on Rob's station] Come on, chunky monkey! I trusted you. I don't need to turn your pizzas upside down. When it's fucking burnt, don't send it! [gives the pizza to Rob] In fact, you know what? Fuck off to the bar, eat the pizza. Get out, eat it, and come back!

(interview) Come on, get over yourself. It's the last thing I wanted to do while my team's getting pummeled, and it's so degrading. [goes into the bar and eats the burnt pizza]

(to Louis) You can't fucking cook a pork chop, he (Rob) cremates a fucking pizza!

(interview) I don't know if that was really a punishment for Rob. I mean, come on. Chef Ramsay sends the fat guy to the bar to go eat his own burnt pizza.

[eats burnt pizza at the bar] Fucking humiliating bullshit.

One chicken, one pork chop!

Five minutes chef.

(holds the tickets) He's trying to propose to his future fiancée!

Yeah.

Move, Louis!

Yes, chef.

You'll make them break up before they even fucking get married!

Thirty seconds, cutting the pork now. (interview) Once you get behind on something, you can't let things get to you. I am just hitting my stride, and I'm ready to rock it. (on his pork chop) The pork is fucking pink! Chef Scott?

What?

[carries the pork in his hands] I fucked the pork and it's pink. It's pink chef.

You can't even put it on a pan, you god damn slob?! You're going to walk around with a pork chop in your hands like that?! GET IT IN THE FUCKING OVEN!!!

Yes, chef.

(to Louis) You walk around like a pig, what kind of slob are you?

(interview) Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!

All of you, come here!

Fuck!

ALL OF YOU!!! You fucking go on a reward, you take advantage, you come back and you perform like FUCKING IDIOTS!!

Yes, chef.

GET A GRIP!!

Yes, chef.

Or FUCK OFF!!

Yes, chef!

(to Boris) Can you stop washing pans?

Boris!

(interview) Wow, Boris! What the fuck!

This is a fucking kitchen!! I'M TRYING TO FUCKING RUN A GODDAMN RESTAURANT!!!

Yes, chef.

Come here you! [leads Boris to the washroom] You want to wash pans?! Get down there! Fuck off will you?! Do it full-time! Get on there! What a muppet.

(interview) I've never been kicked out of the kitchen in my life and it's all my fucking fault.

LA Market is not looking for a fucking head chef in PANS!