Gordon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Look at this. I swear to God, [gets some scallops] it's the kind of shit you'd expect Tiger Woods to tee off with. Look at it. Rubber, rubber, RUBBER! [throws the scallops away]

But, they have to start over.

(on Melinda's cappelini) It's limp and shit!

And over.

(on Tek's scallops) It's fucking raw! [throws the scallops away]

(interview) We've only had one table, but have made the same dish six million times. That's chaos! That's like apocalyptic chaos!

Louie? Did you just put the lamb in the oven?

Yes, sir.

OH, MY GOD! [calls out the entire team] Hey guys come here quick! At least you know, Louie's on entrées and the fucking lamb goes in the oven like that. No salt, no pepper, no seasoning, not even seared! [slams the lamb on the plate] (to Louie) Louie, why do we sear meat?

To lock in the juices, sir.

To give it colour, to improve the flavour!

Sorry, sir.

(interview) You're a man. There's a primary instinct inside you that knows how to cook meat. You need to find it.

Fucking hell!

For the eighth time, can I have one fucking scallops and a fucking beautifully cooked capellini?!

Let's go! This is RIGHT this time!

(to Melinda) Okay, you taste the pasta and you tell me.

First check it, we're rolling! Let's go, we can do it! (Melinda tastes the capellini) Is it cooked or not?

Yes, it's good.

Yes? Let's go!

(to Melinda) Is that cooked? It looks undercooked.

Is it cooked?

(tastes the capellini) Not cooked.

Not cooked?

Nah, that's not cooked. Not cooked. (Melinda throws the undercooked capellini away) Oh, my God! Why did you throw that away, Melinda? Just put it back on the stove, put the lid on the top and, 30 seconds cooking it! What do you do, you just... trash it straight away!

(interview) Melinda... she had that deer-in-the-headlights look and that'll kill you.

(Discovers more capellini thrown in the bin) Look at all this fucking... who's putting all this in the bin?! How many portions are you putting in there? How much is in the bin?! LOOK! LOOK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

An hour into dinner service and the red team has cooked ten appetizers. But unfortunately, none of them have made it to the dining room.

(to Melinda) Hey, madam, how much capellini are you throwing away? (Melinda doesn't reply) Look at it! What are you doing, Melinda?! What are you doing?!

You're making me mad!

Yes, Chef.

Fucking mad!

Yes, chef.

(interview) That girl's gonna lead us to destruction. She's stupid! [shakes her head] Man!

Joseph.

Yes, chef!

You're on the garnish.

Yes.

Louie's on the meat.

Yes.

He's cooking the spinach! Why?

I don't know why.

I–I thought I had to put it altogether, chef.

What's your station?!

I'm doing lamb, and–and rack of lamb, and chicken!

SO WHY ARE YOU COOKING THE SPINACH?!

I thought it went on the plate, sir. (interview) I was just trying to get a head start. Maybe Chef Ramsay should just pull the panties out of his ass or something.

Louie!

Yes, sir.

We got enough problems cooking lamb! I don't want you touching the fucking spinach!

Okay.

Chef, let me do the lamb. Bring him over here, please.

Listen, listen. Listen to me. Hey, listen to me, yeah?

Yes.

My fucking kitchen.

[puts hands up] Absolutely.

My fucking restaurant.

Alright.

Hey, and right now, big boy—Hey! I'm looking like a fucking idiot!

[raising his voice] I GOT IT!

(interview) Joseph, we're not at war. We're just in a kitchen, so calm down and let's cook some carrots.

Salmon, lamb please, how long?

Seven minutes, chef.

Hey, what's that piece of shit there?

It's supposed to be the salmon.

Holy fuck, look at that. It's like a... bison's penis - what is that shit? [opens up the salmon wrap, revealing the interior to be totally frozen] Look at that! Stone-cold, frozen salmon. Who put the salmon in the freezer?

Me. I fucked it up. (interview) The salmon was my fault because I stuck it in the freezer instead of the fridge, and it was frozen.

Yeah, you fucked up, big time!

All the salmon's the same, I think we're gonna have to eighty-six it.

Yeah, 'cos she's wrapped it frozen.

Heather

And we have five on order.

We've got five on order?

Heather

Five on order.

(to Amanda) Hey, ditzy! Great job!

Yes, chef.

Oh, fuck off.

Louie! [raises a chewed up piece of lamb] Wh... what is that? What is that? Did you bite that? Look! That's one, that's the other! IT'S ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!

(interview) Louie's lost. He's out of his league.

What's all that lamb here? Look at this! Hey, Van! You and Joseph! STOP! Look... at... this! Look! LOOK! LOOK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! LOUIE!

Yes, sir?

Fuck off back there. GET OUT! YES, get FUCKED, pile of SHIT! Hey, get upstairs, get your bags packed.

Can I help? Can I help in the kitchen?

Yeah, you can help me: GET OUT!

(interview) You want me out? You want me to pack my fuckin' bags? I'm out. My bags are packed. HE CAN KISS - MY - FUCKING - ASS!

With the kitchen at a complete standstill...

It's like a bad dream.

Chef Ramsay is left with no choice.

(to Joseph) SWITCH IT OFF.

Yes, chef.

(to the red team) Fuck off.

(interview) Anybody sitting at home thinking they can do this...Good luck. It's tough.

(interview) I've never had a dinner service like that. It was a complete and utter nightmare.

It's been a long and disastrous night in Hell's Kitchen - but Chef Ramsay's work isn't done yet. It's now time for him to put his plan into action.

First of all, it's bloody good to see you. Yes.

Thank you, chef. Thank you.

You lost your opportunity due to health reasons... right now, I'd love you to seriously consider [pause for effect] coming back into Hell's Kitchen.

(interview) I've a second chance, and you know, you don't get many second chances in life. [to Gordon] I would love to take that offer. [applause from the other tables]

Enjoy it.

It's a treat to be sitting here by Chef and not being screamed at.

Trust me, each and every service, you're going to get stronger. Have you any idea how much shit I've taken in the kitchen? And the more I took, the better I became.

(interview) What am I learning by shooting shit? Nothing. What gets accomplished by running your mouth? Not a thing.

I didn't come here for lunches you know. That's not what I'm here for. I'm not going to lose my eye on the prize.

Well, we're fired up too, man. I'm not relaxing because I get to have a good nice lunch with the chef.

It's good to get out but I don't really care.

(interview) Joseph, he's a complete dick. He's a little hotheaded, and he's being a little too intense in the way he disrespects Chef Ramsay.

Chef, he's going to the wrong table.

Oh, no. VAN, COME HERE!

(to a Red diner) I'm going to get yelled at right now, but I'll be right back. [returns to the pass] (to Gordon) Yes, chef!

That's the Red table. You're running the Blue. Hey Bozo, give me one scampi special on the right table.

Yes, chef.

Thank you! (to Jean-Philippe) Hey, what's the matter between you two?

There's a language barrier there.

What do you mean a language barrier? He's speaking English, you dick!

I know, but he's from Texas. [Gordon rolls his tongue around]

(to Van) Don't run in the restaurant, please?

(interview) Jean-Philippe better stop trying to tell me what to do. I know that.

I'm going to explode. I'm going to explode, my friend! Listen to me!

(interview) WHOA, WHOA! JP! He's about to like pound him down. DAMN!

(to Van and even turns red) Listen! Listen! LISTEN TO ME!

(interview) I cannot believe I'm seeing this.

Listen to me!

(interview) He's going to fucking hit him.

(to Van) We have a problem here!

(interview) Hit him!

(to Jean-Philippe) Don't touch me, bro! You better get out of my face! (JP pushes Van)

OI! Hey, stop! Hey both of you, come here! (referring Van) Bozo, both of you, come here! NOW!

I'm going to fuck you up, bro. (interview) We're going to get it down and it's going to be a first round knockout.

What's is going on?

(referring Van) He's got no respect, Chef.

DON'T SHOUT! [shouting] WE'RE IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMERS NOW!

I'm sorry, Chef.

He's not respecting his dining room, Chef.

(interview) Bitch, shut the fuck up. He thinks he's some kind of boss man around here and he ain't nothing.

(to Van) Calm down, listen to him. (to Jean-Philippe) And you, pay a little bit to respect. [points to Van] And if you do your job, [points to Jean-Philippe] And if you do your job, we'll come together. 'Cause right now, you're turning the whole place upside down, are you going to do it?

(referring Van) If he listens to me.

(to Jean-Philippe) ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT?

Yes, I will if he listens to me.

(to Van) ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT?

Yes, chef.

Last chance.

[Letting Van out of the pantry first] Ladies first.

Where's the chicken?

Just a second. I'll cook it a little bit more.

[sees what Andy is doing] Oh, no. Oh, dear. We're cutting up a piece of chicken and frying it off. What do you think it is, chicken nuggets? OI!!! Come here you! Now you've cut them up like it's a chicken nugget, and fryin' them off?

Yes, chef.

You fuckin' donkey!

(interview) Andy, if you're sitting there all night long with a meat thermometer on your arm, why are you not checking the chickens? What the fuck is it doing on your arm? It don't look good on you.

[grabs Andy's pan] Is that how you cook in Whistler?

No, chef.

So why are you cooking it like it now?

I made a mistake chef.

(inspecting the bass) Sea bass is raw... Lovely!

Yes, Chef?

It's not! It's SHIT! C'mere! Sea bass is raw! Translucent and pink!

Yes, Chef. (interview) The sea bass was not raw. I didn't see any pink, it was all opaque. (brings the refired bass up to the pass) Chef, the refired bass is coming up. (interview) So Chef Ramsay, get'cha eyes checked, 'cause, you know, he is getting kinda old.

Lovely!

Yes, Chef?

(holding up the now burnt sea bass) There you go. C'mere, you. There you go. She sends out black sea bass!

(interview) Uhh, Lovely did burn the sea bass. I don't believe that Lovely knows how to cook.

I didn't ask for blackened cod! (throws the bass in the trash)

Yes, Chef.

Dumbo!

One roasted crown chicken.

Yes, chef. I'm ready for it.

[sees that the chicken is burnt] It's burnt, the chicken.

Is it?

It's crispy and burnt. Oh, my God!

Damn.

[calls the Blue team] Hey, come here you! All of you! Both kitchens are down and they're waiting. So we're standing here and we got fuck all going out! Nothing! That's where I draw the line. I'm about to do something I've never done before in Hell's Kitchen!

(interview) It's a desperate time. I don't know what's going to happen. For all I know, we're all going home.

I have no option now! There's one fucking thing that you can do here, it's a fucking shrimp cocktail. Do you know why? Cause it's not cooked! Give me a fucking shrimp cocktail!

Yes, chef.

Give me some shrimp cocktails now. Jean-Philippe! I'm serving shrimp cocktail. At least they're going to get something to eat! Hey you, nothing cooked! Nothing seasoned! Crushed ice in a glass with ketchup!

(interview) When Chef Ramsay says "You know what, stop cooking and just send out cold stuff!" That's embarrassing.

Let's go. Shrimp cocktail. Let's go.

With no cooking required...

GO! GO! GO!

...both kitchens...

Five more right here.

...manage to get shrimp cocktail to the dining room.

With the compliments of Chef Ramsay.

A shrimp kind of night. Isn't it?

Hey ladies, come here. Hey, come here! Come here!

(interview) Everybody's like freaking out! Like Chef Ramsay's going to walk over with a fricking machine gun and like [imitates a machine gun] blow us all away!

The entire fucking dining room has shrimp cocktail. That's a first for me. You just turned my restaurant into a shrimp stand. And what's the point of going on? Shut it down.

Blue team. Joseph: let's be honest, that's a pretty sorry battalion you got there, isn't it.

Right now it is.

Who's the first nominee for the men?

They can speak for themselves but they know who they are.

Hey smartass, I asked you to tell me. Who's the first nominee, and why?

No problem: Tony, and Andy.

Listen... I know you may be slightly stupid. First nominee and why?

First nominee and why? Tony. He knows why. We sat down as a group and they wouldn't pick each other. You know. No peer pressure! We're men!

Just, just just - what do you want, a fucking medal?

What do you want me to fuckin' say? What do you want me to say? They know who they fuckin' are. We chose as a group and they stand out and they said they belong there. Stand up, they know who they are.

[approaches Joseph] Listen, you chippy idiot. I asked for one nominee and why, plain English. And you're mouthing off, and you couldn't answer me. Now can you just tell me, in fucking plain English, the first nominee, and why he's nominated. Is that fucking clear?!

That's clear!

Thank you! [walks back] Unbelievable! One simple request, who and why, and you make a big fucking song and dance about it!

I ain't no fuckin' bitch, chef, I don't give a fuck. I ain't no bitch.

...what?

I'm not no bitch!

He's trying to bring the best out of you. You got to look past it.

He's not bringing the best out of me.

Yeah, show some respect.

Shut your fuckin' mouth is what you should do right now.

Come on, man!

I'm talkin' here. I don't give a fuck about you. I didn't come here for you.

You want to be an executive chef, Joe?

Shut your fuckin' mouth!

Oh, my God!

You signed up to fucking learn and grow, and...

Yeah, shut your fuckin' mouth.

...you do this, dude!

Okay! Answer the fucking question!

You keep talkin' like this, I'll have you out in the fuckin' parking lot! I don't give a fuck. What do you want me to say?

I ask the fucking questions, YOU give the fucking answers!

[takes off his jacket and walks out of the line] Fuck that shit, dawg. I ain't here for that! [approaches Gordon and tosses his jacket at him] You want the fuckin' jacket? You want to talk some shit? Let's go step outside, mo'fucka! [gets in Gordon's face] I ain't here for that, dawg!

Wanna talk about fuckin' fighting me?

Oh wow.

Wanna get fuckin' rough?

You think I'm scared? Ah? Look at you.

Yeah, fuck the cameras.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I asked you one simple question, and you couldn't fucking answer me. And then you want to get all tough and up close and personal.

Fuck you.

There you go.

Ain't nothin' but a bitch.

You've got no respect.

No respect?

Now get out.

Fuck you, you fuckin' bitch. [Double flips off the chefs] Fuck all y'all! Right? [the guards lead him out, he trips over the step]

Watch the step.

Yeah, watch the step, bitch.

What an idiot. Total, total shame. [kicks Joseph's jacket up to the table]

(outside the restaurant) I don't need this and that. I don't need some limey - fuckin' - prick - talking to me like that. Without skippin' a beat, I'll go back home, I'll work. Anybody who fuckin' hires me to work in their kitchen, and they'd be PROUD to have me there. FUCK HIM! FUCK HIM.