Serena van der Woodsen quotes from Gossip Girl

Blair

You know, I always knew you were a whore... I never took you for a liar, too.

Serena

Blair... how can I fix this?

Blair

You don't, Serena. You just stay away. From me, my boyfriend, and my friends. You're done here.

Serena

Are you here for another catfight?

Serena

What's that?

Blair

A letter. I wrote it to you when you were away at boarding school. I never sent it. [She begins to read it] Dear Serena. My world is falling apart and you're the only one who would understand. My father left my mother for a 31 year-old model. A male model [She scoffs]. I feel like screaming because I don't have anyone to talk to. You're gone, my dad's gone, Nate's acting weird... where are you? [Crying] Why don't you call? Why did you leave without saying goodbye? You're supposed to be my best friend. I miss you so much. Love, Blair.

Serena

[Tearing up, she trys to regain her composure] Why didn't you send it? I would've

Blair

You would've what? You knew, Serena. And you didn't even call.

Serena

I didn't know what to say to you, or even how to be your friend after what I did. [She also begins to cry] I'm so sorry.

Spotted in Central Park. Two white flags waving. Could an Upper East Side peace accord be that far off? So what will it be? Truce or consequences? We all know one nation can't have two queens. What happens next ? Only time will tell. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Serena

I'm sorry. You were right.

Blair

I know.

Serena

When I got that call, I should have known you had nothing to do with it. I know I should have never pushed you to do this whole thing in the first place.

Blair

Actually, I'm glad you pushed me. It ended up being a very important day for me. I just thought it was going to be more fun.

Serena

I know, me too.

Serena

Are you sure you didn't want any of my dinner? Your entrée was so small.

Dan

No no, it was amazing. I didn't realize fish could be creamed.

Dan

Let me just say. For the record. I like you. Only you.

Serena

Well, that's good because I feel the same about you.

Dan

Glad that's cleared up.

Serena

So, do you think we should talk about it?

Dan

Abo--You mean, about, about Vanessa? No, you know what? She's like family, it feels comfortable. So, therefore, she often shows up without calling.

Serena

No, I mean, about what almost, maybe, might have just happened.

Dan

Oh, you mean if Vanessa hadn't entered and we...

Serena

Or we can not talk about it. [Leans in to kiss Dan]

Rufus

[From outside the room] Dan! We're home. We got breakfast.

Dan

[Sits up from the bed and turns to Serena] Hungry?

Blair

So, I heard on Gossip Girl that you were having sex with Dan out here...in streaming video.

Serena

Oh, God. Kati and Is filmed us?

Blair

Well, it's not very high school musical scandalous. And no, they haven't streamed it...yet. But, I heard it was aggressive.

Serena

I must say, Dan has been surprisingly good at everything we've done.

Blair

Which is? Everything?

Serena

No! But, feel free to ask any personal questions.

Blair

But you've talked about it, right?

Serena

No, mom! We haven't.

Blair

May I remind you that this is your first real boyfriend, S. And in relationships, you talk about stuff.

Serena

I know, but, I don't know. Sometimes talking about it or planning it can ruin a good thing, you know?

Blair

I would know. Well, as long as you're not worried.

Serena

Well, I'm not. But, I don't know, he might be. Is it possible for a guy to want to slow things down?

Blair

Only the guys we like. [They both laugh] But with you, I can't imagine why.

Serena

Blair, stop. You can talk to me.

Blair

[Crying] We ended it. I wanted to tell you, but a part of me thought that if I didn't say it out loud, then it wouldn't be true. It was my birthday wish for us to get back together, but now, I think it's really over.

Serena

Mom is such a hypocrite. And all these years, she's been riding me about my behavior.

Eric

And here, she's just mad at you for being her.

Dan

And all this time my dad has been giving me advice based on a girl he dated...a girl "a lot like Serena".

Jenny

Her mom.

Blair

If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your step dads.

Serena

Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?

Dan

No, or who satisfied her.

Serena

That's just...

Gross!

Serena

I don't want a bath.

Nate

Aw, too bad, Blair's direct orders.

Serena

Blair's not the boss of me.

Nate

Are you in here? Because Blair is the boss of all of us. Seriously, Serena, you smell like the floor of a brewery.

Serena

I do not!

Nate

Yes, you do.

Serena

Oh, my God. Yes, I do.

Nate

Yeah.

Serena

A brewery floor with a hint of second hand smoke.

Nate

And a pint of Old Spice.

Serena

I totally need a bath.

Nate

Yes, you do.

Serena

Blair's a bossy genius.

Nate

Yeah, she is.

Serena

[Using the shower head as a mic] So, what about you?

Nate

What about me? I don't smell like an ashtray.

Serena

But you look like an ass-tray.

Lily

There's nothing wrong with having Chinese food on Thanksgiving.

Serena

What?!

Lily

Jews have been doing it on Christmas since forever. Look, a pumpkin! It's festive, yes?

Serena

We're gonna eat a pumpkin?

This just in -- we hear there's a cold war brewing between Lonely Boy and a certain blue blood. We never thought we'd say this ourselves...

Serena

There you are. What's going on?

Dan

I'll tell you what's going on. I just became your escort to the ball.

But our money's on Brooklyn for the win.

Dan

The arts and crafts were impressive, but how did you manage the real snow?

Serena

[Laughs] I'm well connected.

Dan

This is, without question, the best Christmas ever.

Serena

Ever. In the history of Christmas.

Blair

You know, I called you about an hour ago, BTW. You're late.

Serena

Um, you're lucky I'm even here at all. It's Christmas Eve and I still haven't found a gift for Dan. Now, all the stores are closing and I'm totally screwed. Do you have any idea what you can buy for under fifty dollars these days?

Blair

I don't know. A single entrée in a mid-price restaurant? Three-quarters of a DVD box set? Maybe a pair of Wilfrid stockings?

Serena

Oh, stockings! Yes! Great idea for Dan! Blair, please, this is serious.

Blair

I don't know, why don't you buy him a gold money clip for forty-nine, ninety-nine. He won't know the difference.

Chuck

How glad are you that our two families are merging together, sis?

Serena

So glad that if you ever call me that again it will be the last thing you ever say, Chuck!