Blair Waldorf quotes from Gossip Girl

Blair

Chuck likes to brag about his conquests, not his victims.

Blair

What are you doing here? [Referring to Dan] Do I smell pork... and cheese? [To Serena] Okay, well, when you're done with your charity work, why don't you come find me?

Blair

[To Serena's voice mail] Maybe we should crash the shoot, anyway. See who they replaced me with. Make fun of that skinny bitch.

Blair

Is that a bong, Mother? I didn't take you for a stoner...

Blair

[On the phone] Hi, this is Blair Waldorf, I was wondering if any of the pieces I put on hold today were picked up. The diamond necklace. Okay, thank you. [Looking up at the ceiling] Thank you, thank you!

Blair

[to Ms. Queller] I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion. I did something stupid with someone and even worse than doing that stupid thing I did the same stupid thing with someone else and pretended I had never done that stupid thing before. You look confused, should I walk you through it?

Blair

[talking to Georgina] Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here.

Blair

At least I could have gotten a more interesting stand-in than James. You know how hard it is to find a good fake boyfriend on short notice?

Blair

I would be in my cabana at the Hotel du Cap, and there he would be. Amid all the fireworks on Bastille Day, all I could see was that... Chuck Bass-tard!

Blair

It's like Roman Holiday but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn!

Blair

Duchess? I'm so sorry, for what I said about the botox. Your work is flawless.

Blair

[to Marcus] Don't worry. I'm well-versed in your lordly ways. And I'm ready to meet the queen... which I also just watched on DVD, BTW.

Blair

[sees Nate and Catherine on the floor] Oh my effing God!

Blair

This girl is Dan with boobs.

Blair

I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday. Instead I got a conscience.