Nate Archibald quotes from Gossip Girl

Nate

Think your parents would adopt an seventeen-year-old?

Nate

Maybe?

Nate

How have you never heard of Olivia Burke?! I thought you lived in Brooklyn, not a cave.

Nate

No, a kiss is not nothing, People don't just kiss because they're upset, people kiss because they have feeling for each other. So do you?

Chuck

Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be... violated.

Nate

You are deeply disturbed.

Chuck

And yet, you know I'm right. You're telling me if you had the chance --

Nate

I have a girlfriend.

Chuck

You guys have been dating since kindergarden and you haven't sealed the deal.

Nate

Who says "seal the deal"?

Chuck

Are you following us or something?

Dan

No. I, uh, I go to your school. [He gestures to their outfits]Identical uniforms. Kind of a tip-off.

Nate

[Sarcastically] That's funny.

Dan

[Sarcastically, to himself] So, you guys wanna sit together at lunch?

Chuck

[Smoking a joint] This is some good stuff.

Nate

Yeah, I'm gonna need it. Blair's mom is in the country house.

Chuck

Well then maybe I should swipe some of my dad's Viagra, or my mom's Paxil... Nathaniel, you're finally about to have sex with your girlfriend and it's like you're headed to your execution.

Nate

Nah, man, I'm good.

Chuck

Talk to Chuck, buddy. You and Blair have been dating forever. All of a sudden there's a problem?

Nate

There's no problem. It's just, do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? Like we're just gonna end up like our parents?

Chuck

Geez, that's a dark thought.

Nate

Aren't we entitled to choose, just to...be happy?

Chuck

Look, easy, Socrates. What we're entitled to is a trust fund, maybe a house in the Hamptons, a prescription drug problem. But happiness does not seem to be on the menu, so smoke up and seal the deal with Blair, cause you're also entitled to tap that ass.

Nate

That kid popped you pretty good, huh? Never mess with a guy's sister.

Chuck

If I knew his name, I would hunt him down and kill him.

Nate

Because you kill people now? You gonna strangle him with your scarf?

Chuck

Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.

Nate

I'm just saying, death by scarf? Not that intimidating.

Chuck

What are you doing here?

Dan

What? Is this your hotel?

Nate

Actually, it is.

Chuck

Yeah, so unless you have a reason to be here I'll have to ask you to wait on the curb with the rest of the trash.

Dan

Trash? Look, man, I live in Brooklyn, alright? Not the Ozarks. No offense to the Ozarks.

Once you turn away from money you see that it doesn't buy you freedom, it pays for your prison. They say I disappeared, but all I did was break out.

Nate

So where'd you go?

Where didn't I? I did cleanup post Katrina, spent a year rebuilding Manchu Pichu, which let me tell you, changed my life. I bought at HD cam and started filming if for a documentary-

Chuck

You're the guy who gave us our first joint, snuck us into our first club and you're gonna tell me the life of a YouTube filmaker is better than this. You invented the Lost Weekend.

Nate

Who cares about a party when you can travel the world? [Chuck scoffs]

Exactly, in the real world, all that matters is who you are. Not what you own.

Chuck

As much as I love the speech about not needing material things from a guy who has that much product in his hair, this party is about excess, not exposition. Stop talking, start partying.

Nate

It's exactly what he [Carter] said. The money, the drugs, the privileges, they're just keeping us numb, so we don't notice it's better out there in the real world.

Chuck

The real world? Everyone out there wants to be us. We are what you aspire to, not run away from.

Nate

[Scoffs] You really don't get me do you?

Chuck

That dream of yours, what is it really? Cause I hear you talk about how you don't wanna go to Dartmouth and how you don't wanna follow in your father's footsteps, but what exactly do you want?

Nate

All I know is it's not this.

Chuck

Well you better discover what it is before you throw everything away trying to find it.

May I remind you that it was your own rash actions that got us into this predicament.

Nate

We're in this predicament because Dad has a drug problem. I was trying to help him.

Then help him.

Nate

[About his mom] She wants me to give Blair her ring.

Chuck

What? You guys broke up.

Nate

Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?

Chuck

Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play.

Nate

Where's the girl?

Chuck

In my dreams, I was trying to get some shuteye. What's on your mind?

Nate

It's my mom.

Chuck

Sounds Freudian.

Nate

She wants me to give Blair her ring.

Chuck

What? You guys broke up.

Nate

Yeah, I know. I mean, wait, how did you know?

Chuck

Predictably, your ex ran the old, uh, grill-the-best-friend play. Tried to find out where your head was at. So uh...where is your head?

Nate

Spinning. I mean, my mom wants me to get back with Blair so Eleanor won't pull out of their business deal. It's all cause of my dad's whole trial thing, you know?

Chuck

Hey, I'm sorry about all that. But look, if you're done with Blair, be done. Don't cave to your parents wishes if they're not your desires.

Nate

Excuse me? Where's my boy? Seal the deal, tap that ass? Money marries bigger money?

Chuck

Look, I care about three things Nathaniel. Money, the pleasures money brings me and you. I'm just trying to have your back here. Your parents have been controlling you your whole life, if it doesn't end now, when will it ever?

Serena

I don't want a bath.

Nate

Aw, too bad, Blair's direct orders.

Serena

Blair's not the boss of me.

Nate

Are you in here? Because Blair is the boss of all of us. Seriously, Serena, you smell like the floor of a brewery.

Serena

I do not!

Nate

Yes, you do.

Serena

Oh, my God. Yes, I do.

Nate

Yeah.

Serena

A brewery floor with a hint of second hand smoke.

Nate

And a pint of Old Spice.

Serena

I totally need a bath.

Nate

Yes, you do.

Serena

Blair's a bossy genius.

Nate

Yeah, she is.

Serena

[Using the shower head as a mic] So, what about you?

Nate

What about me? I don't smell like an ashtray.

Serena

But you look like an ass-tray.

Nate

I just don't get it. I organized everything the way she likes it. I mean, I even made sure my bow tie matched her dress.

Chuck

Like the book says, "She's just not that into you."