Lily van der Woodsen quotes from Gossip Girl

Lily

Rufus, teenage girls are nightmares. As soon as they realize that you'll love them no matter what they do, you lose all your power. You just have to wait until they finish college. Or in Serena's case, rebel and NOT go.

Lily

So where are you taking my daughter this evening?

Dan

[Sarcastically] Well, I thought we'd do a tour of New York underground. You know, go visit my friends, the mole people?

Rufus

Since when were you the patron saint of former rock stars?

Lily

Since when were you a rock star?

Rufus

So, you're not overreacting per se. You're just having a reaction that is so above and beyond what is appropriate.

I have been killing myself, trying to make up for what happened in Hudson.

Rufus

Which is not an overreaction, I might add.

And then I find out that the two of you are making out at a party.

Lily

Uh, it was hardly making out. And there's an explanation.

Lily

There's nothing wrong with having Chinese food on Thanksgiving.

Serena

What?!

Lily

Jews have been doing it on Christmas since forever. Look, a pumpkin! It's festive, yes?

Serena

We're gonna eat a pumpkin?

Lily

Where do you think you're going?

Serena

I can't talk right now Mom, I'll explain later.

Lily

If you invite an old friend to our quiet family dinner, I expect you to stay and eat.

Lily

You know how I'd always love it when Georgina came around.

Georgina

I ran into Lily in the lobby. You totally forgot to tell Lily I was coming for dinner.

Georgina

Did you get my present?

Georgina

I mean there must be love in the New York air. You're engaged, Serena's found a new guy, Erik's found himself a boyfriend...

Excuse me?

Lily

[a bit confused] Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right?

Georgina

What, you haven't met Serena's new guy?

Lily

Uh, boyfriend?!

Georgina

Oh, you mean Erik? You didn't know he was dating someone? I didn't think it was a secret, I mean, I saw them kissing in front of St Jude's this morning for the world to see. [Erik looking uncomfortable while Georgina gladly reveals the secret]Well, don't look so embarassed, E, he is a hot piece. Well done!

Serena

Please, Georgina, it's not funny, okay?

Georgina

Oh! Um, you didn't know Erik was dating a boy?

Lily

That doesn't make any sense because that would mean... that Erik is... and he's not, [sighs uncomfortably] he's just not.

Lily

Are you? [realising that Georgina was telling the truth] God...

Serena

Erik! [sighs] Great, Mom, that's just great. [Serena looks to Georgina] How dare you?!

Lily

Jenny, he's your father and he loves you. So much. And at least for the next couple years, you belong at home with him.

Jenny

Um, thank you, Mrs. Bass, for letting me stay here and everything, but I'm pretty tired, so I'm gonna-

Lily

Well, get some rest. We can talk some more tomorrow.

Lily

I saw your father today.

Jenny

I had a feeling.

Lily

[about Jack] The bastard is untouchable.

Chuck

What shall we do?

Lily

Time to get dirty. I'm all yours.

Chuck

Let me educate you.

Chuck

If your people don't come up with anything, maybe we can try number 26.

Lily

"Crash Jack in plane." The Bass jet is kind of expensive, Charles.

Chuck

There's insurance.

Serena

Mom, I admit I made a few phone calls. If you want to punish someone for the passed hors d'oeuvres, point the finger here. Guilty as charged. But as far as all the people...

Lily

Oh, and you expect me to believe that Jenny was behind this? After she had me cancel the best caterer in town because she wanted clue and a crock-pot?

Eric

Mum, you could at least make an attempt to mask your distaste.

Lily

What, you know him?

Rufus

Um. Oh, yeah, that was-

Georgina

Your love child! Yup, not dead! Congratulations. It's a boy!

Blair

Chuck!

Lily

Chuck is gone.

Blair

But I need to talk to him. I need to explain.

Lily

Blair whatever you needed him to do, do you really think he would have refused you?

Blair

No. He'd never say no. To anything. I messed up, didn't I?