You beat them all. They threw everything at you. They tried to beat you down. But you know what? You're unstoppable, Kurt. They can never take this away from you. I am so proud to be your dad. Right now, in this moment, on this day, you won.
S3 E11Michael
Stupid? [beginning to cry] Stupid is watching all of your friends make plans for the future and realizing you have none at all. No plans, no college, nowhere to go.
Today's your lucky day because Auntie Snixx just arrived on the Bitchtown Express. Now, my suggestion is we drag him bound and gagged to a tattoo parlor for a tramp stamp that reads "Tips appreciated" or "Congratulations, you're my thousandth customer".
You may look like the villain out of a cheesy '80s high school movie, but you should know that I'm fully prepared to go all Daniel LaRusso on your ass.
Wait, if Kurt would have taped it to his junk, I would never have heard the end of it. We would of had a whole week of songs about it.
PPuck
This is what we call taking the high road, which I was shocked to find out has nothing to do with marijuana
S3 E12The Spanish Teacher
Now, if this is about the complaint you lodged against me with Principal Figgins, I already know.
You do, Coach?
Oh Becky, I've known ever since I tinker-tailor-soldier-spied my way into Figgins's file cabinet and read the evaluation cards. And when I saw one written in crayon, I knew it was either you or Brittany, and you're the better speller.
Look, I'm getting to the point in my life where I kind of need to be honest with myself about who I am.
And who is that?
Not you. Not Rachel.
That's the point, Finn. There are plenty of us, trust me. The one thing that Glee Clubs and theater programs don't have is the hot straight football player who can sing and sort of dance. You're unique, Finn. And I can't see this proposal thing as anything else but you giving up on yourself.
Come on, guys! Why, just last week, three Fort Wayne gymnasts had to have their junk amputated!
PPuck
I stopped washing down there 'cause it seemed kind of gay.
I thought that's what the hair was for: catching the dirt.
Huh, lift and scrub. Who knew it was so easy?
(Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes are watching Twilight)
How is the girl with no ass supposed to choose between the juiced-up wolf and the depressed vampire? She is into both of them.
Oh come on Mercedes, she just knows.
What if they both make her feel amazing in differents ways?
No, you don't get to choose when it comes to true love. True love chooses you. And you better be certain when it comes to marriage, because marriage is a promise and it lasts forever.
Ladies, I appreciate you spending time with me while Blaine recovers, but why are you being so weird and serious? Our periods don't come until the end of the month.
A baby? With whose vagina?
You're messing with adult things here, Santana. This is my job. This is my life.
And this is my education, and it's not a joke to me, although it seems to be one to you.
What are you talking about? They all loved my performance.
Because they don't know any better. It's your fault. You're their teacher. You went from "La Cucaracha" to a bullfighting mariachi. Why don't you just dress up as the Taco Bell chihuahua and bark the theme to Dora the Explorer? You don't even know enough to be embarassed about these stereotypes that you're perpetuating.
That's not fair!
Isn't it? What did you want to be when you grew up? Why did you become a spanish teacher, Mr. Shue?
Because... it was the only teaching position open at the time.
I want to remind you of something an amazing teacher once taught me: without passion, you can't succeed.
Who taught you that?
You did. And you do. When you teach Glee.
As you may have heard, our history teacher, Mrs. Hagberg, has been forced into retirement due to some memory problems.
Flashback to Mrs. Hagberg teaching a class
And that's how Germany won the Second World War.
All right, guys! Let me ask you something: where do you think you'll be in the year 2030?
RKRachel and Kurt
Broadway! (They look at each other) Twinsies!
Walking.
PPuck
In jail. Or dead. Or both.
Mercedes Jones: Sam just tweeted that I smell good.
Sam Evans: I won't stop 'til it's trending.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.