Glee · Season 2
Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you're incredibly difficult to work with?
Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that.
We've been dating all summer.
Rachel's what you'd call a controlist.
I...I'm controlling. [to Finn] "Controlist" isn't a word.
Oh.
I'm controlling. Performing is my life. And yes, do I have opinions about it? Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow glee clubbers?
Yes! [Rachel looks at Finn] That was out loud, wasn't it?
When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire?
Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog saying your glee club song selection sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod?
Well, I try to do something for everybody. 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock.
100% gay.
When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Land's End?
Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy.
It's true. It was the responsible thing to do.
Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression because you're not over Miss Fabray? [Puck blocks the camera's view.]
What can you say about the rumors that the two of you are dating?
Because we're both Asian? That's racist!
Totally racist!
[Tina and Mike walk away holding hands]
[to the cameraman] Did you get that? [to audience] You saw it here first.
How exactly do you get the white out of rice?
What did you do with all that breast milk?
How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child?
Well, I'm happy to be back and ready to start fresh. And.. I'm a lot less hormonal, so there's not really any more crying.
[noticing Santana's boob job] How was YOUR summer?
My eyes are up here, Jewfro. And it was uneventful.
People thought I went on vacation but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers.
Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping?
Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap?
When will you glee clubbers ...
I don't know.
... accept the fact that people hate you ...
Kiss it, Jacob.
... and think you're nothing but a glorified ...
Go away, go away.
Jacob: ...karaoke club designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars?
You know what Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barkaloungers and log onto the Internet and start tearing people down, does it. But you know what does take some courage? Standing up and singing about something. So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, say what you have to say TO MY FACE!!
[throws slushie in Kurt's face] Welcome back, Lady!
[to Jacob] I don't suppose you could just cut out that last part, is there?
We get it Mr. Schue. Everyone still hates us. So what? So we're plankton on the high school food chain. The only difference now is that none of us really care.
See this? It's a court summons--child endangerment--'cause there's been a line of would-be Cheerios out there since late July. I guess they lost their humanity a little bit. One girl ate a pigeon, several others started worshiping a possum carcass as their lord.
Cut my budget? You can't cut my budget without express permission of the president of the Federal Reserve!
Oh, Sue, I think you can manage a sixth national title without confetti cannons!
Do you think your kids can manage life without their daddy?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Glee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
