[as Spencer walks into the locker room] Hey, I'm open. [Spencer tosses the football at him, which flies out of his hands] Well, I guess that's why I was the kicker....which was a transformational moment for the school, by the way. Yeah, marked the beginning of a great synchronicity between Glee Club and football. Just ask any of the football guys that are back for homecoming.
SSpencer
So why aren't they here trying to recruit me? Why did they send you? 'Cause we both like guys?
Look, you’re naive if you don’t think you’re standing on our shoulders. Okay, you owe Glee Club.
SSpencer
Please, I owe Modern Family. Listen, when Coach Beiste kicked those guys off the football team, they cornered me in the parking lot when I was getting into my car, got all up in my face. One of them ended the day with his jaw wired shut, and the other, I don’t think he ever stopped running. I can’t stand Gaga, I’ve never seen Newsies, and I don’t write Archie fan fiction where Archie and Jughead are hot for each other. Just because you and I happen to be born in the same 10% of the population that would choose Andrew Garfield over Emma Stone doesn’t mean we have anything else in common. So I’m not saying no to your Glee Club because it’s gay or straight, I’m saying no because I think it sucks. I’m sorry, man.
[looking horrified] Oh, Porcelain. No-no-no-no. You will never come out of this alive. This person is obviously a cannibal. I mean, look at you. You're exceptionally well marbled.'
[continuing] If I was on a desert island with everybody I knew, I would absolutely eat you first. It doesn't even have to be a deserted island. There could be any number of casual dining establishments, and I would still opt to eat you. A mouth-watering delicious corn-fed Porcelain rump roast.
(To Rachel) I invested everything into Glee Club. And what did it get me? They al deserted me. The only reason I'm still here is because Sue needed me for Cheerios! I miss singing and dancing and the feeling of being in the choir room. But I know Sue and I know you. And I don't want to jump back in just to have my heart broken again in a couple weeks when it all goes away.
Oh, no, no, no, Porcelain. No, this is happening. Each team will perform at this invitational. Even if one show choir's co-director is kidnapped and held against his will, causing him to mess the performance.
I was so intent on being a Broadway star that I never even learned her name, or any of their names. There was Puck's brother and-and then there was cross-dressing Mercedes and the one with the fat mom and whatever Raider.
