RachelAh. All this time he was in love with me. [Moving near Joey] What else did he say? He wanted to ask me out for a coffee?
Given that he is desperately in love with you, I'd bet he would like to have a cup of coffee.
[Rachel gets ready to go find Ross in airport]
What about the time difference?
[Rachel picks her coat and starts out]
What you gonna say to him?
Rachel
I don't know, maybe if i see him i will know.
[Picks up Ross's photo and walks to Rach] How about now? [Phoebes keeps Ross's photo up her face and acts like Ross] Does this help?
Rachel
No. [Walks out]
[yells] HEY. I LOVE YOU TOO.! Deal with me first.
[Monica wants to hide from Rachel the fact that she went shopping with Julie, so she creates an alibi.]
Phoebe, listen. You were with me and we were shopping all day.
We were shopping and we had lunch.
Oh, all right. What did I have?
Oh. No wonder I don't feel full.
Rachel
[Enters] Hey, guys. What's up?
I went shopping with Monica all day and I had a salad.
Rachel
Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?
Umm, we went shopping for, umm, for... fur.
Rachel
You went shopping for fur?
Yes... [Realizes what she said] And then I realized I'm against that... and, uh, so then we bought some... [Monica is pointing at her chest behind Rachel's back] uhh, boobs.
Rachel
You bought boobs?
[Monica is yanking on her bra strap behind Rachel's back.]
Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
I wasn't in love with him, and I was just helping out a friend.
Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month! AND I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
[everyone gasps and turns to Pheobe]:
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
Oh, come on, like you tell me everything?
What have I not told you?
[smiling] Oh, I dunno, um, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace!
WHAT?! Wait a minute! Who told you?!
[everyone's gasped and is running for the window except Chandler. Monica turns to him]:
I didn't know it was a big secret.
[smiles] Oh, it's not big. Not at all. Kinda on the same lines as, say, I don't know, having a THIRD NIPPLE!
[everyone gasps from the window before coming to rush around Chandler]:
Whip it out, whip it out!
Come on, there's nothing to see! It's just a tiny bump. It's totally useless!
Rachel
Oh, as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
I can't believe you- you told me it was a nubbin!
Joey, what'd you think a nubbin was?
I dunno, you see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was.
Eeveryone
Lemme see it! Show us! I wanna see!
JOEY WAS IN A PORNO MOVIE!
[Everyone gasps including Joey, angrily pointing at Chandler]:
If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me.
[Ross, Chandler and Monica bought tickets for Hootie and the Blowfish concert for themselves and the others.]
I'm just gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now.
Rachel
Me neither.
Guys, we bought the tickets.
Oh, well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
Why did you look at me when you said that?
[Ross confronts Rachel at Central Perk just as she is closing the cafe]
Rachel
Oh...that's interesting.
No, it's not 'interesting'! It's very not interesting! It's 100% the opposite of interesting!
Rachel
Okay, I got it Ross!
You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me!
Rachel
What?
I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you!
Rachel
I was doing great before I found out about you! Do you think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?!
You should have said something before I met her!
Rachel
I didn't know then! And how come you never said anything to me?!
There was never a good time!
Rachel
Oh, you only had a year! We only hung out every night!
Not...every night! And it's not like I didn't try, but things got in the way! Like Italian guys, or ex-fiancees, or...Italian guys!
Rachel
There was one Italian guy! Do you have a point?!
The point is, I don't need this right now! It's too late! I'm with somebody else! I'm happy! This ship has sailed!
Rachel
So are you just going to put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me?!
I've been doing it since the 9th Grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it!
Rachel
Okay, you go ahead and do that, Ross! I don't need your stupid ship! [Ross leaves, and she walks up to the door to shut it] And you know what? Now I've got closure!!
[The gang is decorating the Christmas tree]
I remember my father dressed in the red suit, the big black boots and the patent leather belt, sneaking around downstairs. He didn't want anybody see him, but he'd be drunk, so he'd stumble, crash into something, and wake everybody up.
Rachel
Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
Who said anything about Christmas?
Oh, this is so much fun, just the girls! Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
Rachel
[Shocked]
All right, look. Nobody is smoking any pot around all this food!
Well, that's fine. I never did it, I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
[Rachel and Monica see Jean-Claude Van Damme on the set and Monica is smitten.]
Rachel
So why don't you go talk to him?
[sarcastically] Oh, yeah!
Rachel
What? So you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?
[Phoebe and Rachel went to get tattoos. Phoebe chickened out.]
Rachel
Phoebe, how could you do this to me? This was all your idea!
I know, I know, and I was going to get it, but then he came in with this needle, and d--did you know they do this with needles?
Rachel
Really! You don't say! Because mine was licked on by kittens!
Rachel
Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean, you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
Oh hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea. Why don't you have Paolo over to have a romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock knock jokes.
Friends · 771 quotes
