Friends quotes

613 total quotes

All Seasons
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Alice: I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank Junior Jr.
Chandler: Wouldn't that be Frank the Third?
Alice: Don't get me started. Anyway, um, since there are three babies and, um, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honored if you would name the other boy baby.
Phoebe: Wow! That's so great! Oh! Oh! Cougar!
Alice: You think about it.

Amy: I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of "Emily".
Ross: Emma.
Amy: [to Phoebe] Emma, Ross wants you.
Phoebe: PHOEBE!
Amy: [whispers to Ross] Why does she keep making that noise?

Amy: You know, this is classic Rachel!
Rachel: Yeah, right! Remember in high school, when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a child. You know that I've been busy focusing on my career.
Rachel: What career?
Amy: I'm a decorator!
Rachel: You decorate Dad's office and you're a decorator! Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday. Now I'm a koala bear!
Amy: Why can't you be supportive?
Rachel: You want to talk supportive? You didn't come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby!
Amy: You didn't come and see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done!
Rachel: I did the first time! And do you want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you?
Ross: It's Emma.
Rachel: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?! [to Amy] I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responsibility of a child!
Amy: How hard could it be? You do it! [Joey laughs but stops when everyone stares at him.] You want to know why you don't want me to have the baby? Because you don't want me to be happy! You have always been jealous of me!
Rachel: Of what? Your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? Your total disregard for other peoples' feelings?
Amy: To name a few!

Answering Machine: You have two new messages.
Joey: [Laughs] What a cool job. [Answering Machine voice] "You have two new messages."
Joey: [Answering Machine voice] "Please pass the pie."

Bonnie: What are you guys doing?
Joey: [naked] We're playing strip Happy Days game.
Bonnie: Cool! I'll catch up! [takes off her sweater]
Season 4

Carol's Doctor: [To Carol] How do you like your contractions?
Carol: [with an air of false joy] Oh, they're wonderful! Each one's like a party going on in my uterus!

Chandler and Joey: [To Phoebe] Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh... I wish I could, but I don't want to.

Chandler: [looking at a picture] Me and Frank and Phoebe, graduation, 1965.
Phoebe: You know what that means?
Joey: That you're actually 50?
Phoebe: No, no that's not me Phoebe, that's her pal, Phoebe according to their High School yearbook, they were like BFF.
[everyone looks at her confused]
Phoebe: Best friends forever.
Everybody: Oh.

Chandler: [referring to Rachel's oversized sombrero hat] Wait a minute, I know that hat. I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me! I can't have children!

Chandler: [while Erica is giving birth] Is it really that bad?
Erica: Uh-huh. I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!

Chandler: Batman is so much cooler than James Bond.
Monica: What? 007 has all those gadgets.
Chandler: Batman has a utility belt.
Monica: 007 has a fancy car.
Chandler: Batman has the Batmobile.
Monica: 007 gets all the ladies.
Chandler: Batman has Robin.

Chandler: Have fun in church camp!

Chandler: I'm getting my nails done. You said it was going to be fun [Looks his fingers] which kind of it is..
Chandler: You said there would be guys. There are no guys .
Rachel: There is one right there
Chandler: That's a mail man.. That's our mail man.....

Chandler: Next time, can I say breathe?
Monica: No! The last time you did, you said it like Dracula and it scared her!

Chandler: What do we do?
Monica: What do you mean "what do we do"?
Chandler: Twins! Twins!
Monica: Chandler, you're panicking.
Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?