Monica Geller quotes from Friends

Monica

[about Ross and Russ] See? They're as different as night and... later that night.

Monica

[singing and dancing] Forty-two to twenty-one, like the turkey, Ross is done!

Monica

Your lip went bald!

Monica

DAMN ALL THE JELLYFISH!

Monica

[to Joey] Hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet?

Monica

[To Richard] Getting over you was the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, so I don't allow myself to think about you

Monica

Chandler, what is wrong with your face? This picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron." [The photographer laughs.] Hey, don't laugh at him. He's my drowning moron.

Monica

I got one. "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best."

Monica

"Marriage. It's not for everybody."

Monica

Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... [reads from the screen] "gay as the day is long"?

Monica

But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true.

Monica

I'm sorry. Who should be along in a what now?

Monica

I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies. I don't care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough comes out of there!

Monica

There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!

Joey

C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!

Chandler

Alright Joey, be nice.

Chandler

[to Monica] So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?

Phoebe

Wait, does he eat chalk?

Phoebe

Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!

Monica

Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.

Chandler

Sounds like a date to me.

Chandler

Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realise I am totally naked.

Oh, yeah. Had that dream.

Chandler

Then I look down, and I realise there's a phone... there.

Joey

Instead of...?

Chandler

That's right.

Joey

Never had that dream.

Phoebe

No.

Chandler

All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.

Monica

They weren't looking at you before?

Chandler

Finally, I figure I better answer it. And it turns out it's my mother, which is very very weird, because- she never calls me!