Mike quotes from Friends

Mike

Hey, when did we become one of those couple who let our rat babies control our lives?

Phoebe

[doing a crossword puzzle] Hey, Mike - what's the capital of Peru?

Mike

Lima.

Phoebe

No, it starts with a V and ends in an X. And hopefully with a T-O in the middle.

Mike

You know, you're right. The capital of Peru is Vtox.

Ross

There's no way around it, Pheebs. You just got to accept the fact that this is going to cost you a lot of money.

Mike

I heard that weddings are, like, a 40 billion dollar a year industry.

Ross

Yeah, and I'm responsible for just, like, half of that.

Monica

[to Phoebe] OK, it's 2100 hours. Time for your toast.

Mike

Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?

Monica

You had a bathroom break at 2030; pee on your own time, Mike... Now, in regard to the toast - OK, you wanna keep them short; nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. OK, you just get in, do your thing and get out.

Mike

Is that what you say to Chandler?

Phoebe

As of today, my name is Princess Consuela Bananahammock.

Mike

I thought you had to just make your name Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan!

Phoebe

I can change it to anything I want.

Mike

Well, if you can, I can. My name is Crap Bag.

Phoebe

Will you please be Mike Hannigan again?

Mike

Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.

Phoebe

How about 'Buffay-Hannigan'?

Mike

Really?

Phoebe

Yeah. Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock!

Mike

Do you know what a bananahammock is?

Phoebe

It's a funny word!

Mike

It's a speedo!

Phoebe

[pauses] Oh crap!