Hey, Banelli! You got a lot of nerve showin' up here!
BBanelli
So what? So what? It's a free world. So what?
Excuse me, Stan. That's the bitch who gave all my ideas to Michael Crichton.
S9 E6Independent Movie
Mom, who died?
[his uncle shows up]
IIra
Schmuely.
Uncle Ira? What are you doing here?
IIra
How shall I put this? You're a child, and you're gonna remember this for the rest of your life. So I wanna make sure I say this right. YOUR DAD IS DEAD! HE'S DEAD!!!
S9 E7Faking Bad
[Hayley enters Steve's room; Steve is under a blanket fort on his bed]
Hey, buddy. [lifts the flap]
It's called "Fortress of Solitude". Not "Fortress of Come on In".
Oh. Right. Star Trek Wars. [imitates lasers]
Okay. Next I.D. is ready. Mike Rotch? I'm looking for Mike Rotch.
[Bart Simpson, right behind him, laughs]
S9 E8Minstrel Krampus
[Stan, Roger, and Santa set off to find Steve and Krampus]
Wow. Full moon tonight.
Actually, once you get above the clouds, it's always a full moon.
Is that true?
SCSanta Claus
What.
Is any of this?
[grunts]
Oh.
SCSanta Claus
Well, i’m not for sure.
[last line]
[to the home audience] You better be good, boys and girls, or I'll beat you until blood's comin' from your ears and your eyes and your mouth. Merry Christmas! And from your ass.
Hey bitch, where's my Mickey Mouse towel!
I'm sorry! I'll try harder.
Roger, Who guys are you to say that happened.
S9 E9Vision: Impossible
[enters with something wrapped in a towel] You guys will not believe what's in this towel.
A baby. A baby you gave birth to, and you didn't even know you were pregnant. It just popped out on the lawn. You thought you were just takin' a D on the lawn, but surprise! It wasn't a deuce. It was a baby, and it's in that towel. [taps the table] Show me that baby!
No. It's a raccoon.
I like to drive around and pretend I have zoo problems.
[Roger awakens from his coma]
Roger, thank God you're awake! You've been in a coma.
Oh, my God! How long was I out? [holds up a beard] This long? [holds up a longer beard] Or this long?
The first one.
[Roger puts on the shorter beard]
And then, he.
S9 E10Familyland
[Francine eats cookies while the other Smiths are preoccupied, until...]
[sniffs] Mom's cinnamon cookies?!
Terrific. No one cares about me. They just care about my cookies.
What’s that smell?
S9 E11Cock of the Sleepwalk
[just after his attempt to assassinate another terrorist has failed, Stan discovers that there are Gummi Bears instead of bullets in his rifle]
Gummi Bears?! He replaced my bullets with Gummi Bears from the mini bar! That's gonna cost me $7! [walks up to the mini bar, which is riddled with cash] Oh. He left money. Well, I can't be mad about-- Wait! That's my money!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.