PPedophile
So, uh, which boy is yours?
The hot one, duh.
S13Next of Pin
[at the bowling championship]
GGreg
The excitement is palpable here. The stands absolutely packed with what I like to call "gutter people."
MSMemphis Stormfront
Ha-ha-ha, delightful bowing pun there, Greg.
GGreg
Bowling pun?
[Stan absently confesses to Francine that he stabbed Steve]
You don't tell Steve about this, and I won't tell Klaus you're the one that broke his Dilbert mug.
[quickly agreeing] Okay, deal, deal.
[frustrated by the lack of interest by the police] You sound like the cops. They've given up on the case already too. To them, I'm just one more white kid who got stabbed in a bowling alley.
[as Stan starts to piece together the clues]
Since when is Steve smart? He's a jock.
[explaining his escape from the contest]
Molt & bolt, baby.
[searching for clues in his own stabbing] This dumpster is filled with weapons and blood-soaked hoodies. How am I supposed to find the ones that belong to my stabber?
This Taz-loving sicko must of really been obsessed with me.
DDetective
Whose kid is this? Who would let their kid see this?!
Is that why you were acting so weird?
Weird?! How?
Stabbing me comes to mind!
[takes the knife from Steve] You're just never gonna let me live that down, are you? Come on, look, getting stabbed is not that big a deal. See? Bop! [stabs himself] See? Nothing! [continues stabbing every time he says "bop"] Bop bop bop bop! No biggie. Do it in the back. Bop bop! I'm fine, see? Few more? Bop bop bop!
S13Standard Deviation
...and that was "Let's Get Lost" by Chet Baker, who either fell or was thrown to his death from a hotel room window in Amsterdam. I like to think he was thrown.
Stan (as he watches a YouTube video of a man spinning and scratching records): That's DJing? How am I supposed to learn that in two days?
Hayley (as she picks up a record featuring Roger dressed as a woman and suggestively licking a guitar): Not by playing Roger Goes Down on Lillith Fair.
Stan (woozily): What...what's going on? How'd I get back here?
You never left. You've been on a psychedelic trip for 24 hours.
But you were never alone. I saw to that, bro.
Dad, we only have 20 minutes to get you to the DJ battle.
So...I didn't beat Bullock.
No, Stan. You were just humming the Cheers theme song and shitting yourself.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.