Au revoir, les enfants! That means, "**** you!"
S7 E13Dr. Klaustus
S7 E14Stan's Best Friend
[Stan is in the living room and petting Kisses]
You're soft. Like a detergent bear. Oh, and look. There's a little ear. [scratches his ear] Who likes a scratch? Who likes an ear scratch? Huh? [pets him again and gets out his cell phone] Just gonna snap a pic for Steve. It's for him, not for me. [Kisses yawns] Oh, my god. What a cute little yawn. What a cute little baby. [pets him once more]
[it is now morning as Kisses fetches the frisbee to Steve. Steve kneels down and gives it to Stan]
You were right, Francine. It feels so good to love a dog again.
S7 E15Less Money, Mo' Problems
[tires screech and a gunshot is heard off-screen while Stan and Francine are sleeping. Stan covers his ears and can't take the noise]
[sighs annoyedly] Jeff and Hayley are killing me.
[sleeping] I don't care if you are Sean Connery. That's my jet ski.
[Stan gets out of bed. Jeff and Hayley are watching TV and Jeff eats a piece of pizza]
You know what time it is.
Shh.
Dad, Jeff worked a long day. And now all he wants to do is watch Bones and relax.
SBSeeley Booth
Hey, Bones. Look at this bone.
TBTemperance Brennan
I know. But did you see this bone?
BBooth
Where'd you find that bone?
BBrennan
Same place you got your bone. It was just sitting there, next to this bone.
WWoman
Dr. Brennan, bone call. They said it was important. Something about a bone.
[Stan rolls his eyes]
All right, a reverse BM it is. Hey, that came out funny *gasp* Was that a joke, do ya think?
We can't ride the bus, we're white!
JJonah
Those pizza bagels are my life. I make those tiny bagels by hand.
BBilly
A fake rock? This world would never ceases to amaze and inspire me!
S7 E16The Kidney Stays in the Picture
[Hayley is in the hospital]
I...might not be Hayley's father? You've cheated on me?
I'm sorry. It happened a few days before our wedding at my bachelorette party.
A few days before the wedding? While I was dealing with small details that ultimately made of the most beautiful day of my life? A box of flip-flops so the girls could dance.
I was freaking out that my life was changing. I was going from being this party girl to being someone's wife. And I got drunk and [sighs] It was the biggest mistake I ever made. Can you ever forgive me?
[Stan comes close to her]
You... big... whore. I don't know why I'm holding you like this. It must be very confusing.
DDoctor
Mr. and Mrs. Smith, bad news. Your daughter's second kidney's only working at 20%.
Oooh, my insides hurt. (brays like a donkey and passes out)
You know how they take kidneys out?
No.
[creepily] You'll walk into your room and there will be plastic sheets all over the floor. Before you can react, a man in a ski mask will tie you to a chair with an Indian braided belt he got on vacation in Santa Fe. He'll turn on some Huey Lewis, and then cut the damn thing out with a rusty keyhole saw. No antiseptic, no Novocaine, no nothing! Just the song "Hip to Be Square" drowning out your boyish screams.
Now no one has anything.
S7 E17Ricky Spanish
Damn, I look good. Tilda Swinton good.
You really think I can change?
Bitch, what did I just say?
S7 E18Toy Whorey
[high-pitched voice after breathing in a helium balloon] When I was a little girl, Grover Cleveland was president.
S8Hurricane!
[wheezes] Don’t look at me, whore, we both know what this is! It’s love, forever love! Agh! [cries] Stan! I didn’t see you there! Sneaky, the sneaky boy was what you are!
It’s okay! I left the bear in to kill the shark! They’re natural enemies since the dawn of time! [The bear on the raft growl]
Not working in tandem! They’re brothers in arms! Agh!
Not the hiccups, don’t worry. Kim Nick Cage of this mother! [gets the electric wires] This time, I’ll make the right call. I’m gonna electrocute him.
Oh, Stan, I don’t think… [Roger is accidentally electrocuted by Stan]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.