Francine Smith quotes from American Dad!

Francine

What's LARPing?

Francine

Sorry, Steve, guess I was too busy scoring mad pole.

Francine

Stan, I don't know basketball, but I can tell from the way you're talking you're not good at it.

Francine

[to Stan] It worries me that bad guy thing you're doing with your hands.

Francine

[under her breath] Do you have to hug after every stupid thing you say?

Francine

[not quite under her breath] Bald-ass alien piece of shit.

Francine

[not quite under her breath] Now here goes the fish...

Francine

When you're married to a sexy man, there's always gonna be some bush-league snizz trying to storm the castle.

Francine

What am I doing?! Drinking Windex and fertilizer and talking to the voices in my head?! This ends now!

Stan Smith

Francine, you be careful when out there today; we're at terror alert orange! Which means something could go down somewhere in some way at some point in time, SO LOOK SHARP!

Hayley Smith

You know, Dad, it's great that you and your CIA buddies have made up some fun little way to keep the masses paralyzed in fear.

Stan Smith

You like shaving your armpits, Hayley? Huh? 'Cause if the terrorists take over this country, that's the first thing to go! [the toaster pops up its products and Stan quickly takes out his gun and shoots it numerous times, destroying the toaster and nearly the toast]

Hayley Smith

[staring at Stan in shock with the rest of the family] It's just toast, Dad.

Stan Smith

This time it was toast, Hayley...This time!

Francine Smith

It's okay. This one will be mine. [claims the shot-up toast]

Steve

I can't believe I'm gonna die a virgin.

Francine

Aw, sweetie, there was a 70-80% chance of that happening, anyway.

Thank you very much, Mrs. Smith.

Stan

You paid? You said you were going to the bathroom.

Francine

I did both.

Stan

Well you can just do it all, can't you?

Stan

I could have assassinated you!

Francine

What?

Stan

Nothing.

Francine

This is a wonderful starter home. I've been saving it for a couple just like you.

Pretty soon, we're gonna be more than a couple.

Francine

Oh, congratulations! I just thought you were fat.

We're adopting.

Stan

You missed family game night for that?! Go wash it out; you look like a slutty wad of money.

Hayley

No way!

Stan

[quickly reassembles, points gun at Hayley] Yes way!

Francine

Stan!

Stan

She started it!

Francine

How's everyone's French toast?

Stan

Smelly and ungrateful. But this American toast is delicious!