What makes you think you're going to survive?
My species is immune to all human ailments.
So explain that cold sore.
Mind your own business!
“Threat Levels” · Season 1, Episode 2
In this episode: Stan Smith (5), Francine Smith (4), Steve Smith (3), Roger (2), Hayley Smith (1), Toshi (1)
I can't believe I'm gonna die a virgin.
Aw, sweetie, there was a 70-80% chance of that happening, anyway.
Here's to Mom! She's finally cast off the shackles of domestic servitude and realized her potential as a smart, independent woman.
Hayley, how would you like a punch in the face?
WWaitress
Thank you very much, Mrs. Smith.
You paid? You said you were going to the bathroom.
I did both.
Well you can just do it all, can't you?
Toshi, you have a video camera, right?
[subtitled] You assume this because I am Asian. You are a racist.
Wow, that's a lot of words for of course.
[Stan gets up from hot tub naked.]
GGreg
Take a picture, why don't you?
TTerry
I'm just being polite. It'd be rude not to look.
I could have assassinated you!
What?
Nothing.
I can't believe you muscled out your own son. You stink, Dad!
Oh, come on. What's more important? Your hopes and dreams or me making more than your mother?
Tams, I gotta go. Yeah, the boss is being a real Catch U Next Tuesday.
This is a wonderful starter home. I've been saving it for a couple just like you.
WWoman
Pretty soon, we're gonna be more than a couple.
Oh, congratulations! I just thought you were fat.
WWoman
We're adopting.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.