Logan Reese quotes from Zoey 101

Chase

We aren't even two hours in the new school year and you guys are already about to kill each other!

Logan

No!

Michael

Oh, I'm about to kill him though!

Dustin

(breaks up the boxing fight) Hey, what are you doing!

Logan

(exhausted) We've been... boxing... to see...

Michael

(also exhausted) ... Who gets... the single bed...

Dustin

Why don't you just flip a coin?

Chase

Timeout!

Logan

What?!

Chase

I'm giving you a timeout! Go sit on that rock!

Logan

I'm not going to go sit on the-

Chase

ROCK!

Chase

May I suggest something please?

What?

Chase

Look, you guys both want the single bed right? So why don't we just say that whoever gets there first gets the bed, fair enough?

Michael

I guess so.

Chase

Kay good. Now the important thing to remember here is.. (pushes them to the ground and runs to get the single bed for himself)

Michael

So, Zoey just walked right in?

Chase

Right in.

Michael

She should have knocked first.

Chase

Yeah, that would have been nice.

Michael

And you're sure Zoey saw you and Rebecca kiss?...

Zoey

Oh, yeah. They were kissing.

Lola

Are you a thousand percent sure they were kissing?

Zoey

Either that or Chase was trying to suck the teeth out of her mouth...

Michael

So, you just stopped kissing, looked up and there was Zoey standing right there in the doorway?

Chase

Yep...

Michael

Harsh!

Chase

Yeah, it wasn't the most comfortable moment of my life.

Logan

So what did you say?...

Zoey

He said, "This is Rebecca, my girlfriend".

Lola

You sure he said, "Girlfriend'?

Quinn

Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe he said... 'Grillfriend'?

Zoey

Grillfriend?

Quinn

Yeah, you know maybe they just cook things together... Outdoors...

Logan

Is that a real chicken?

Quinn

It was a real chicken.

Logan

Then why did you make me do all that ridiculous stuff?

Quinn

'Cause you called me a spaz. I don't like being called a spaz. Never did. Not even as a child. I hope you learned a little lesson here.

Coco

You're guys... Am I... Am I unappealing?! Would you show up at my house on Valentine's Day with a pretzel from a gas station?!

Chase

We're just teenagers!

Michael

And I don't even like pretzels...

Logan

You're just a mess!

Coco!

Coco

Carl?

What are you doing with another man!

Coco

You dumped me!

And that gives you the right to date other men?!

Coco

Yeah, kinda!

Logan

Wow, this is great!

Chase

I just don't understand why they call it "a pair of pants".

Logan

Why not?

Chase

Because a pair means two, like a pair of shoes or a pair of gloves. Two shoes, two gloves. Why pair of pants?

Michael

Because, man, you would sound stupid if you were like, "Hey, man. I love my new pant. You like my new pant? Check out my new pant!"

Zoey

Let’s shake on it.

Logan

Or we could kiss on it? (Zoey slaps him) We'll shake on it.

Zoey

Logan?! (about being her tutor)

Logan

Like I'm thrilled about this. (being Zoey's tutor)

Zoey

(to her chemistry teacher) Logan doesn't know anything about chemistry! Logan doesn't know anything about anything!

Logan

Listen, I told Chase about me and you.

Zoey

What? I thought we decided we should keep it a secret.

Logan

I know, but he's my friend. You mad?

Zoey

No. I hate that I have to keep lying to Lola and Quinn.

Logan

Yeah, we shouldn't have to keep secrets from our friends.

Zoey

I know, it's just Chemistry.

Logan

Yeah, chemistry, which we have together.

Chase

(comes out of bush) Alright! I've heard enough!

Zoey

Chase!

Logan

Chase! What were you doing in that bush?!

Chase

Hearing everything!

Zoey

Look, I wanted to tell you, but I was embarrassed!

Chase

You should be embarrassed! I mean, LOGAN!

Zoey

Yeah, but he's taught me so much.

Chase

Oh, God!

Zoey

It's true. I mean, he really knows the stuff.

Chase

(stomps off) Oh! Oh! Ugh! Oh, God!

[as he hands students back their history tests] I'd like to congratulate you all on your tests, which I know weren't easy. Most of you did quite well.

Chase

[to Vince] Vince, listen. I want you to know I'm not gonna turn you in for cheating.

Vince

Cool.

Chase

If... You swear not to do it anymore.

Vince

I hear ya.

Chase

Good. So, no more cheating.

Vince

No, I'm just letting you know I hear ya. I'm still gonna cheat.

Logan

[whispering to Chase] Dude! Don't irritate Vince!

[as he gives Vince back his test] And it looks like we have a new MVP of this class. Vince Blake gets 100! [everyone cheers]

Stacey

Vince can do anything!

Nice work, Vince.

Vince

Hey, when Vince Blake does something, he always...

Chase

Vince cheated. [the whole class stares]

What did you say?

Chase

Vince stole the answers to the test. I saw him do it.

Vince

[laughs] That's a lie.

Chase, that's a very serious charge.

Chase

I know.

Well, unless you have some proof, I suggest...

Chase

He snuck in here at night and took pictures of the test with his cellphone. And I bet he wasn't smart enough to delete 'em. [Vince gives him a look]

Vince, may I see your cellphone?

Zoey

I can't believe the three of you took on the whole football team!

Logan

Four of us...

Michael

Yeah, Del Figgalo helped. Sorta.

Quinn

(yelling) Mark! My Mark!