Veronica Mars quotes from Veronica Mars

Veronica

[voiceover] The only way I'd ever make two grand in a week working at the Hut is if they installed a pole.

Veronica

[to Duncan] You're here for your looks. Why don't you leave the heavy thinking to me, sugarpants? Now go make yourself pretty.

Veronica

[answers phone] Chesty LaRue. Hey, Duncan. I'm fine. I'm slathering up my boobs as we speak.

Veronica

I'm so impressed you fit a pony into my room. Presents, presents, presents!

Veronica

Do you see the moving truck out front? Ms. Moana Lisa and Mr. Outside Voice next door finally got the boot. Two old acquaintances that should be forgotten.

Veronica

[to Jackie] I'm about to go watch Mrs. Hauser swarm in her own personal hell. If you're not doing anything..?

Veronica

[to Madison Sinclair] Buck up, Maddy. Senior trip is back on, sister. Six grand! We're Magic Mountain bound. [turns to leave] Oh, you know there's a ride called the Viper, right? Isn't that like...your mothership?

Veronica

Why can't the evil just get jobs like the rest of us?

Veronica

I had the printers forego the phallic framing. Penises can sometimes be distracting.

Veronica

[voiceover] So this is how it is. The innocent suffer, the guilty go free, and truth and fiction are pretty much interchangeable. ...There is neither a Santa Claus, nor an Easter Bunny, and there no angels watching over us. Things just happen for no reason, and nothing makes any sense.

Veronica

[to Logan after sex] Woof! You should seriously consider going pro in that.

Veronica

[reading invitation] "Tasteful" floral dresses? All my florals are trampy. Seriously, I don't have a thing with a flower that's not in the tube top or hot pant family.

Veronica

[voiceover] I guess "dress to impress" meant "dress like your favorite Pussycat Doll."

Veronica

[voiceover] The '70s had the Hustle. The '80s, the moonwalk. We have the faux-lesbian dance.

Veronica

[voiceover] The best way to keep a guy at least ten feet away? Dry heave. Vomit is the new mace.