Veronica Mars quotes from Veronica Mars

Logan

Look, Veronica, can you just once save my ass without comment?

Veronica

No. Because saving your ass with comment, it just... it works better for me.

Veronica

Slushies! Get your ice-cold, frozen... sugar water...

Logan

You had me at "ice cold."

Veronica

What's your poison?

Logan

Oh, emotionally unavailable women. [Veronica glares] Let's see, uh... I want something that suits my mood.

Veronica

Ooh, I'm sorry, we're all out of liquid evil.

Logan

I'll take two of whatever will turn my tongue blue.

Veronica

Hot date?

Logan

Rain check? A night with the fellas. You know how it is.

Weevil

Is it your undying love for me, or just good old-fashioned lust?

Veronica

Que?

Weevil

That kept you from turning me in?

Veronica

[pauses] Love...of rollercoasters. And hatred of anything that requires me to tie a sweater over my shoulders and be at sea with my classmates... Nothing to do with you. [they both give a small smile to each other]

Logan

Oh the rich, how they mock you. [hands Veronica a $50 bill]

Veronica

There's a $50 bill?

Logan

Had them made special.

Jackie

This school genuinely sucks.

Veronica

True dat.

In less than three minutes, Veronica Mars has lost all the senior trip money.

Veronica

Is that a record?

Veronica

Jackie and I aren't exactly the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. She's not what you'd call huggable.

Keith

Whereas you warm right up to people? Hmm.

Veronica

Hmm

Keith

Hmm.

Dick

Dude, why are lesbians, like, so pissed off all the time? Let your freak flag fly, ladies!

Veronica

How progressive of you, Dick.

Dick

Damn, what is it with you? Do you follow me around for fun, or what?

Veronica

Would it help if I started making out with my girlfriend in the hall?

Dick

Yeah! Obviously. But look, I'll fix your car, whatever. You gotta learn to leave me alone.

Veronica

And here I thought we were getting to be pals.

Dick

Please. You date Logan, he's nailed for murder. You date Duncan, he's wanted for kidnapping. You get put on Robbie and Hunter's jury, they get sent to Chino. You're like rich-dude Kryptonite, Veronica. This rich dude wants no part of it.

Veronica

So are you ready to be the bait, Corny?

Hell yeah. No one's better. I'm what you call the "Master Bait."

Veronica

I need you to get me into a restricted website.

Mac

Sure, what's the address?

Veronica

I don't know.

Mac

What's it for?

Veronica

It's a Neptune High gay chat room.

Mac

Veronica, you're not...

Veronica

No, I'm just curious. [chuckles] Curious as to what's posted on the website, more accurately. Here we go. Work your funky magic. [beat] And... nothing. What's the problem? [Mac stares at Veronica without speaking] ...You set it up, didn't you?

Jackie

You can ride with me if you want. I realize it's no bus filled with rowdy towel-snapping jocks, but it'll smell better.

Veronica

I don't know. Um... do you have room for my giant foam finger?

Jackie

I do, and I can even drop you off around the block if you're worried about being seen together.

Veronica

Yes. Please, by all means, protect my reputation.

Veronica!

Veronica

Hey, party girl.

I need your help.

Veronica

Let me guess: the "Pin the Penis on the Fireman" game ended in tears?

Okay, so we're gonna play a game called "Two Truths and a Lie." Does everyone have a buddy? [Veronica raises her hand] All alone?

Veronica

It's all right. I prefer it.

Lie. See, that's how the game works. [to group] You have to tell your partner two facts and one lie and they have to guess which one is the lie, all right? [to Veronica] Okay, so go ahead.

Veronica

Okay, I'm Veronica. I'm from Neptune. And I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Oh, how'd that go?

Veronica

It was a bit of a letdown.

Hmm. Well, uh, I don't believe that you're from Neptune.

Veronica

Wrong. Is that the end?

Um, okay. Well, my name is Dean, I'm from Wheaton, Illinois. My father owns a Ford dealership, and I also shot a man in Reno, but it wasn't to watch him die, it was for, other issues.

Veronica

Your father doesn't sell Fords.

That's right, Toyotas. How did you know?

Veronica

It's all in the eyes.

All right, well, I guess I'll have to watch out for you next year.

Veronica

Oh, I won't be attending.

All right, enough lies.

I saw you talking to that guy. What'd you talk about?

Veronica

Jane Austen. But he dissed Pride and Prejudice, so I had to throw a beer on him.

Keith

You´re back early.

Veronica

Yeah, I ditched the goodbye hugging, can you believe it?

Keith

You? Miss Hug. So you must be tired. Why don´t you lie in your...[interrupted by knocking]

Is Keith here?

Veronica

Dad... your hooker's here.

Keith

Escort, honey... So why don´t you go to your room and do your... blog or whatever you kids do.