Mrs. Hauser quotes from Veronica Mars

All right, people, pair up. You each have a piece of paper with an STD on it. You have to inform your partner that you have said STD.

Veronica

All right, Gia, we can be partners, but no glove, no love.

Dick

Yeah, let's get the dried-up divorcée to teach us about sex.

Gia

I heard her husband left her for a man.

Dick

And now we get bitchy and bitter for a year.

Gia

Mrs. Hauser, mine's wrong. Isn't this a flower?

No, Gia. Chlamydia is not a flower.

Gia

Well, we have it on, like, a trellis at our beach house.

Veronica

Your trellis is a whore.

Since you all had such a raucous good time with venereal diseases, I'm sure you'll be thrilled with phase two of Sex Ed. Ladies and gentlemen... [takes animatronic baby out of box] Welcome to Parenthood.

Veronica

So that's where babies come from.

In less than three minutes, Veronica Mars has lost all the senior trip money.

Veronica

Is that a record?