“The Rapes of Graff” quotes from Veronica Mars

Okay, so we're gonna play a game called "Two Truths and a Lie." Does everyone have a buddy? [Veronica raises her hand] All alone?

Veronica

It's all right. I prefer it.

Lie. See, that's how the game works. [to group] You have to tell your partner two facts and one lie and they have to guess which one is the lie, all right? [to Veronica] Okay, so go ahead.

Veronica

Okay, I'm Veronica. I'm from Neptune. And I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Oh, how'd that go?

Veronica

It was a bit of a letdown.

Hmm. Well, uh, I don't believe that you're from Neptune.

Veronica

Wrong. Is that the end?

Um, okay. Well, my name is Dean, I'm from Wheaton, Illinois. My father owns a Ford dealership, and I also shot a man in Reno, but it wasn't to watch him die, it was for, other issues.

Veronica

Your father doesn't sell Fords.

That's right, Toyotas. How did you know?

Veronica

It's all in the eyes.

All right, well, I guess I'll have to watch out for you next year.

Veronica

Oh, I won't be attending.

All right, enough lies.

Dick

Dude! So we hanging this weekend or that chick still have your sack locked up in her Easy-Bake Oven?

Logan

Actually, I am now a free man.

Dick

The way we should be, man.

Logan

"We"? What happened to Madison?

Dick

[scoffs] Bailed. According to her friend, she met someone more mature.

Logan

Where, Legoland?

Dick

Pfft. Whatever, man. Maturity is like one of the two most overrated things on the planet.

Logan

The other being?

Dick

Chicks.

Logan

Oh, so this worked out great for you.

Dick

Dude, why do you think I'm in such a great mood? Screw it. This weekend, you and me are partying like Ozzy.

I saw you talking to that guy. What'd you talk about?

Veronica

Jane Austen. But he dissed Pride and Prejudice, so I had to throw a beer on him.

I want to emphasize this should not be construed as coercion. We're just showing you a picture. [shows Lamb a photo of him and Madison]

Keith

That's Madison Sinclair, who I believe takes World History with my daughter.

Lamb

[looks around, lowers his voice] So, what? This is blackmail? She's 18. That's legal.

Keith

Sounds like a swell campaign slogan for the next election. [shows him a "campaign flyer": 18 - It's Legal! Re-Elect Don Lamb]

Wallace

That's Veronica Mars - making friends and influencing people wherever she goes. See, if you come here next year, you've already got enemies. Just feel right at home.

Keith

You´re back early.

Veronica

Yeah, I ditched the goodbye hugging, can you believe it?

Keith

You? Miss Hug. So you must be tired. Why don´t you lie in your...[interrupted by knocking]

Is Keith here?

Veronica

Dad... your hooker's here.

Keith

Escort, honey... So why don´t you go to your room and do your... blog or whatever you kids do.