Marge Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Selma

Single? He passes the Selma test!

Marge

Oh,

Marge

Hawaii here we come!

Bart

Come on Transylvania

Attention. Flight 605 to Tokyo is ready for departure and has 4 available mega-saver seats.

Yeah!

Marge

Come on, Homer, Japan.

Homer

No, not Japan, Jamaica. I want to pass the dutchie on the left-hand side.

Lisa

Never mind. Looks like the Flanders are gonna get those seats anyway.

Homer

Oh, so Flanders he can steal our vacation, huh? Come on! Sayonara, suckers.

Lisa

Yay! The Simpsons are going to Japan. [a gong sounds. Zoom out to reveal that the Simpsons' airport cart crashed into a gong]

Hey, watch the gong, jerk.

Marge

C'mon Homer, Japan will be fun. You liked Rashomon.

Homer

That's not how I remember it. Besides if we wanted to see Japanese people, we could've gone to the zoo.

Marge

[offended by Homer's allegedly racist comment] Homer!

Homer

What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. His name is Takashi. He was in my book club.

Marge

I never knew Jim Belushi made so many movies.

Homer

Yeah, isn't it amazing? They're filming one right now in the bathroom. Gonna be on towards the end of the flight.

Toga! Toga! Toga! 2000!

Homer

Marge, they stole my idea.

Lisa

Now can we do something Japanese?

Homer

Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff. In jail, we had to be in this dumb Kabuki play about the 47 Ronin and I wanted to be Yoshi, but they made me Ori.

Bart

Then we had to do two hours of origami followed by flower arranging and meditation.

Homer

[Japanese version of Should we tell them the secret of inner peace? in English subtitles]

Bart

[Japanese version of No, they are foreign devils. in English subtitles]

Marge

Honey, I know you want to see Japan, bet we're down to our last million yen.

Homer

Don't worry, ichiban. I'll show you something Japanese.

Lisa

Oh, it's beautiful, Dad.

Homer

It's a crane. The Japanese believe they bring good luck.

Marge

Oh, be careful. We need that money to get home. [gasps] No!

Homer

[Japanese version of D'oh! in English subtitles]

Now, Mr. Simpson, I know you lost all your money, but don't worry. The United States will not stand idly by while one of its citizens is stuck here like this.

Marge

But, Mr. Ambassador, how are we going to get home?

Beats me. Try getting a job and earning some money. That's what I did. By the way, "ambassador" is taken.

Now, Mr. Simpson, I know you lost all your money, but don't worry. The United States will not stand idly by while one of its citizens is stuck here like this.

Marge

But, Mr. Ambassador, how are we going to get home?

Beats me. Try getting a job and earning some money. That's what I did. By the way, "ambassador" is taken.

Marge

[cheerfully] Every truckload of fish we gut brings us thirty-one cents closer to those tickets home.

Bart

And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do. [starts gutting fish] Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out.

Spare my life and I'll give you three wish ... [gets gutted] ...gaah!

Bart

Knife goes in, guts come out.

Lisa

Yippee! Time for the company loyalty song!

[singing] Knife-a goes in, a-guts come out [stabs itself] that's what Osaka Seafood Concern is all about. [collapses]

Homer

Well, this sucks; what else is on? [uses eel to change the channel]

Thank you. You have fulfilled our dreams and dreams of our ancestors.

Tune in tomorrow, when another lucky family tries to win their dreams on Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show.

Marge

Family Wish Show. Hmm. That gives me an idea.

Lisa

I think we all had that idea.

Homer

I didn't. What is it? Lunch?

Marge

Oh, look, they're shooting a movie! Robert Downey Jr.'s shooting it out with the police!

Bart

[Looks around] I don't see any cameras...

Marge

I understand the electrodes, but why does he have to be on a treadmill?

Oh, that was his idea. He said he felt fat.

Marge

Oh.

You said he was concerned about satellites?

Marge

And their beams.

Any other strange behavior?

Homer

He quit blinking. He says that's when they get you.

I had a feeling that might happen. This carboxyl group sometimes causes problems. [indicates molecular model]

Homer

And we trusted you! [strangles model]

Marge

I think we should take him off the drug.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't just go off Focusyn.

But we can ease Bart onto one of its sister drugs, like chlorhexinol, and augment that with some phenolbutamine.

Hmm, and maybe some cyclobenzanone?

That's a great idea! [they kiss]

Marge

It's impossible! I killed you!

Ned Flanders

[Chuckles] You can't kill the undead, silly.

Homer

[after the funeral] We just got away with murder and it's so easy! [spots Milhouse with the kite] You know, I never liked that little wiener Milhouse. [attempts to run over Milhouse]

Marge

[puts a stop to Homer's driving] No more murders!

Homer

Ooh, you don't want to get Zorro mad. [accidentally pours hot butter on Marge's thigh]

Marge

You're pouring hot butter on my leg!

Bart

I'll dig an outhouse!

Lisa

I'll weed the floor!

Marge

I'll repress the rage I'm feeling! [plasters a fake smile on her face]

Homer

I think I know what they're doing here Lisa. They did it to Jesus, and now they're doing it to me.

Marge

Are you comparing yourself to our Lord?!

Homer

Well, in bowling ability.

[to Homer] There's only one reasonable way to settle this, you and me in the circle of death.

Marge

Ohh, I just swept the circle of death.