How could Robert transfer Nellie here after the Sabre store debacle? She stinks of failure. The fact that she could show her face around here is an embarrassment. I should know. I'm in an identical situation.
S8 E19Get the Girl
[to Erin] Uh, I am here to take you back to Scranton. Because I love you, and I want to be with you.
IIrene
Where's the ring?
Hm?
IIrene
Where's the ring, Lancelot?
Uh, would you guys mind if we talked privately for a second? Sorry, Glenn.
[Irene and Glenn leave]
Um, Andy... I am so happy to see you. But I'm not coming back with you.
GGlenn
[whispering off screen] Why won't she go with him?
IIrene
[whispering] I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause he's not that handsome.
Hey, don't listen.
S8 E20Welcome Party
Hey Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card?
Oh, great. [reads] "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a moustachectomy." Oh, that's not good.
Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.
It's nice. It's funny. It mentions his tonsillectomy and makes a funny little joke about his moustache.
Stanley doesn't have a moustache.
Yeah, he does.
Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a moustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a moustache.
Okay, Phyllis sits across from him every day. Phyllis, does he have a moustache or not?
Oh, I don't know. Now I think he doesn't.
Phyllis! What are you talking- The whole card depends on this!
Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?
Because we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.
Okay, which one of these looks more right?
[holds up drawing of Stanley with and without a moustache]
Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left.
[bell dings] Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?
Okay, quick. Who says moustache?
[Pam, Oscar, Dwight, and Creed raise their hands]
Yep.
Who says no moustache?
[Jim, Angela, and Phyllis raise their hands; Gabe enters, hiding Stanley's face]
[reveals Stanley's moustache] Ah! Ha ha ha!
He does have a moustache.
Yes!
Welcome back, Stanley.
[Stanley grunts]
In the warehouse, we'd use code names for people we want to talk about. Andy was Jelly roll, Michael was Dennis the Menace, Ryan was Douchebag.
Hey, that's not a code name, that's just an insult.
Plus, everyone would know who you meant.
Yeah.
S8 E21Angry Andy
I had a lot on my mind last night, and I didn't perform. Okay? It happens to plenty of guys. It's usually not followed by a giant workplace discussion and an interview.
[Andy confronts Robert and Nellie about her taking the manager position while he was away in Tallahassee]
You are not the manager. I earned that job. I was personally chosen after Robert was chosen and quit.
Andy, why don't you just take a seat?
Why don't you take a seat, you idiot? [throws chair]
And why don't you take all your stupid memos and your stupid pens and your dumb caramels?
And your stupid face! [grabs Nellie's photo off the wall and smashes it on the ground]And your stupid office! AHHH!
[Andy punches a hole in the wall…again]
He does not like that wall.
S8 E22Fundraiser
Sometimes I feel like every one I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes I mean all times. All the times. Every of the times!
So, Dwight doesn't understand what a silent auction is. [Chuckles to himself] I guess he's the 'stupid guy' in the office, huh? Cause up 'til now, we didn't have one.
S8 E23Turf War
Protein powder, huh? You cut it with water? Why don't you just take estrogen?
Jim couldn't land me in a thousand years.
But you're saying there's a chance.
S8 E24Free Family Portrait Studio
Andrew, it's time for you to go home. You're better than this.
Yeah, I know.
Everyone is better than this because this... Is the worst thing I have ever seen. [Sips the Energy drink meant for Asian Homosexuals, said to be flavored as Coconut Penis] Why did they add coconut? I miss the original. [chugs the rest of the can]
S9 E1New Guys
Why is Nellie still here?
You can only fire Nellie for cause.
Then I will make up a cause.
Except you just told me you were gonna make it up. Now, if she sues, I have to testify against you.
Then forget I just told you that.
I can't. I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy. Sat next to this woman named Beverly Brook. She had a Greek salad for lunch. See what I mean?
Now I know why Michael hated you so much.
No, he didn't.
There are two things I am passionate about. Recycling, and revenge.
S9 E2Roy's Wedding
I've been through several rounds of development with the team and here's where we stand with the chore wheel. [introduces a new wheel] We've got prizes! Ten bucks, candy bar, manager for an hour but, there are also penalties. Like, no internet, Stanley gets your lunch. The one thing that is not on the chore wheel is chores, but they were right; it's more fun this way.
The Taliban is the worst. Great heroin though.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Office (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.