Here's what it is, it's a doodle. Some people doodle at work when they let their mind run. They draw houses, penises. Funny how the houses are always colonials and the penises are always circumcised, don't you think?
S8 E1The List
When I was a salesman I could just be like "not my job, not my prob, I'm going to the warehouse to polish my knob!" ...Metaphorically, of course.
S8 E2The Incentive
My heart belongs to music. But my ass belongs to these people.
There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.
So me think, why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
S8 E3Lotto
I decided to stay home, eat a bunch of tacos in my basement. Now my basement smells like tacos. You can't air out a basement. And taco air is heavy. It settles at the lowest point.
There's gotta be a better way to do this. This is literally how they built the pyramids.
Well, they whipped people, which was helpful.
My future isn't going to be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It's going to be determined by two big black balls.
S8 E4Garden Party
Schrute farms is very easy to find. It's right in the middle of the root vegetable district. If the soil starts to get acidic, you've gone too far.
JAMES, PAMELA, AND PEE PEE HALPERT!
There's this thing that people tend to do with billboards. How do I put this? If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a... phallic shape, interacting with the artwork, it'll happen, and Andy gave them that opportunity.
S8 E5Spooked
[about Dwight] Every Halloween, I tell him the same thing: "You can't bring weapons into the office." And every year, he says the same thing: "As soon as I get my weapons back, I'm gonna kill you."
Pam, how would you rate me as a receptionist on a scale of 1 to 3?
Um, two?
That's like the second to last thing I wanted to hear.
Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships? It's funny isn't it, we take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear?
S8 E6Doomsday
Do you know her last name yet?
Toby, I'm gonna tell you her last name tomorrow because she's gonna be screaming it tonight.
She's going to be screaming her own last name?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Office (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.