[While Luna sets up fliers for a band audition at Tall Timber's Park, she meets a new female guitarist named Nina, after hearing her rocking out her solo at the pond, and finds her to be the perfect replacement]
LunaI hate to interrupt when you're in the zone, but as a fellow guitarist, I have to introduce myself. I'm…
NNina
[recognizes her] Luna Loud?! Lead singer and guitarist of the Moon Goats?! I saw your last show! You were all… [imitates Luna's guitar solo]
Luna
Well, I don't know if I did that…
NNina
I'm Nina. [offers Luna a handshake, but realizes her bandaged hands, so they opt for an elbow bump instead]
Luna
As you can see, um, I'm sort of out of commission, and the Moon Goats are supposed to play the Cherry Pit Spit this weekend. We're looking for a temporary guitarist. You should totally audition. [hands her a flier]
NNina
[gasps in excitement] Yes! Count me in! [to the ducks] Ya hear that, my peeps? I might finally be in a band!
Luna, what is going on?! And don't say it's part of his unique creative process.
Luna
[sighs in guilt] I'm sorry, dudes. This is all my fault. I know I've let you down, but I promise, I will fix it. I'm gonna do what I should've done in the first place. I just need to make a quick trip to the duck pond.
Huh, I just call it the bathroom, but, hey, whatever.
[A little later, Luna returns with Nina]
Luna
Hey. This is Nina. She's who should've replaced me from the start. She's amazing!
Are you sure? 'Cause I don't wanna be harsh, but your last pick didn't exactly go smoothly.
Luna
This time you can trust me, dudes. Nina's the real deal. Check out those calluses.
[Nina shows the Moon Goats her hands, which have the calluses of a real rockstar]
SMSam, Mazzy, and Sully
[amazed] Woah!
Luna
Well, that was a total bust, dudes.
I think they hate themselves for now.
Ah, fish paste. You minnows warm up in here. I'm going to go get us a tree for the mess hall cuz I want to go get us a tree for the mess hall. [gets his jacket, which is beside old photo of him and his own favorite sons, actually getting along with themselves in the forest] Your favorite dads helped me pick one out. [shows Lincoln the photo] It was our own favorite Christmas tradition. But, uh, well, this year, I don't think that's happening.
[looks at the photo and thinks, then suddenly gets an idea] What if we make it happen? Maybe this will just become one thing that brings them together.
Hey, Dad. I'm ready to get to work and-- [screams in shock when he sees Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Lana all there, grinning] What're you folks doing here?!
LLynn
The jig is up, Stinkoln! We know you're trying to get a dish named after you. And we came to beat you at your favorite game. [fist bumps with Lana]
Luna
Yeah, bro. At first we hope it was really dumb earlier, but then I realize, people trying to order a Moon Goat cheese salad may just feel really good for the band.
And there's nothing fishy about a Luan-chovy pizza.
I think a dessert called the Ba-Lana split sounds very yummy.
[Luna, Luan, and Lana look at Lynn]
LLynn
I just wanna win another thing.
[emerges from the kitchen and hugs all of four of his own favorite daughters together] Look at my own favorite daughters, who also want to spend another time with their own old man and learn about the restaurant biz.
LLynn
[in unison] Definitely.
Luna
[in unison] Totally.
[clapping his hands, gathering everyone] Okay, everyone, gather around.
LLLuna, Luan, and Lana
One, two, three! [bust down the fridge, freeing themselves]
Okay, not gonna ask. I got to duck out to meet my duck-guy.
I hope he's not a quack. [she and her father laugh]
That's a good thing. Anywho, Kotaro and Grant are in charge until I get back, okay? [leaves]
Okay, folks, let's just stay focused and…
[fiercely to themselves] YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
[shocked at his favorite restaurant's messy appearance from the siblings' food fight] My favorite restaurant! My livelihood! [to his kids; upset] I can't believe you kids! [then turns to Kotaro and Grant; sharped] And you, Kotaro and Grant, I need to expect this behavior from my own children, but not from you!
[covers both of their mouths] You know what? You can forget about winning Employee of the Month, for now! [takes off his cooking hat as he tries to storm off to the kitchen] Neither of you deserve it!
[Kotaro and Grant try to sulk]
Wait, Dad, this is our own fault. Grant and Kotaro were only breaking up our own food fight.
Luna
Yeah. The five of us got so caught up in trying to win Employee of the Month, and we lost another control.
[gasps in realization] That's what you folks have been up to a few days? Trying to win that award?
[sighs as he and four of his own favorite sisters nod their heads yes in guilt] Yes, but we definitely don't deserve it.
Luna
But Grant and Kotaro do!
[The Loud family is in London, England, and Rita is seemingly driving their rental double-decker bus on wrong side of the road]
Honey, you're on the wrong side of the road! [Steers the bus on the left side. The Loud siblings scream from the back]
I always forget they drive on the left side in England. Everyone okay back there?
[The Loud siblings are pressed against the window]
[Rita presses her foot on the breaks as the traffic light turns red and the bus screeches to a stop]
[to a British man who's preparing to board their bus] Sorry. This is our rental bus. We have a wheely big family. [laughs]
[pops up in front of the viewers] Welcome to London! So what are the Louds doing across the pond? Good question. Luna got an invite to attend Mick Swagger's knighting ceremony at the Royal Castle. And because she's such a huge fan, Mick flew out our whole family! That's right, we traveled all the way from Royal Woods, Michigan, to London, England.
[A map shows the Louds' plane flying from Royal Woods, Michigan, USA, over the Atlantic Ocean, and lands in the England state of the European country]
Luna
[reading Mick Swagger's autobiography when Lynn kicks her soccer ball, knocking it out of her hands] Chill out, Lynn! I'm trying to reread Mick's autobiography, even after the 10th time, I'm learning new dets about his life.
LLynn
And I'm trying to get into the English spirit. Brits love soccer.
They call it "football" here, Lynn. And the King's favorite team is the Chuffbottom Chips.
[to the viewers] Lori spent the whole flight binging a reality series on British royals called Drama Kings, so she thinks she's an expert now.
[in British accent] Oh, oh, there's the local chippy where me and me mates used to nosh on sonnies. [laughs]
[chuckles] Dad is trying to relieve the college semester he spent in England. And me? I'm just excited to be in the city where they shot my favorite David Steele movie; To London with Love. Whoa! I think David jumped from that rooftop!
[Their bus comes to a stop in front of the Royal Castle and the siblings are slammed against the window]
[gasps] Look! We made it to the Royal Castle!
[gasps when he hears Luna scream off-screen] I know that ding-dang scream anywhere! That's my Luna! [he, the family, and X head down to the Royal hall] Luna!
Luna
[frantically] It's Mick! He's…he's…he's been taken!
[Pan over to a table with the tea spilled and Mick's guitar and everyone gasps in horror]
But what does Mick Swagger have to do with the King's shredder and jams?
XX
[gasps in realization] He is the King's shredder, he is the King's jams! The code words for a musician. The target all along was Mick!
[The Louds gasp in shock and look at Lincoln]
[shocked with horror, realizing he screwed up] Oh, my gosh! I totally beefed it!
[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2… The Louds are walking out of the Royal Castle to their bus in utter disappointment while Luna tries to console her brother]
[disappointed with himself] Awww, it's all my fault Mick's gone.
Luna
No, it's not, bro. You meant well.
If I hadn't given X the wrong targets, she would've moved her agents so Mick would still be here.
Luna
Yeah, you're totally right. I was just trying to make you feel better.
ENEarl of Nuttingham
FOOLED YA! [pulls a lever and drops a cage on the Louds, trapping them] The real Mick's actually over here. [presses a button on his remote, and another cage lifts up, revealing the real Mick]
[with his hands both cuffed and holding his electric guitar] Hello, Louds. Brilliant, you figured out all me clues! [unimpressed] Less brilliant, you've been captured.
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Enough chit-chat, start playing! [presses the button once more, this time, releasing Mick from the cage]
Luna
Wait, you did all this just so Mick could play a concert for you?
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Not just any concert, a never-ending concert!
Luna
But you've been to all of Mick's shows. Why can't you just keep doing that?
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Oh, I have been to all of his shows. In fact, I was Mick's most loyal fan… for decades. [narrating in a flashback] And after my 100th Swagger concert, I worked up the courage to ask Mick to play at my private birthday party. And what did he do? He played another gig!
[End of flashback]
Oi. It was a sold out show in Rio, mate, for half a million fans.
ENEarl of Nuttingham
Well, you betrayed your biggest fan! Now, start my concert! [presses the button on the remote, releasing two alligators as they snarl at Mick, forcing him to start playing a song; to the Loud family] Sorry, Louds, but you're not invited to the show. Ta-ta!
What's with the racket? Mr. Coconuts is on a call with his agent!
I told you, Marty, I won't work with sock puppets!
[slamming Lincoln's head down to the floor] Stinkoln thinks Lori's mattress is now his because of an amendment in that dumb rule book!
Luna
There are amendments?
Hmm. Well, this is for sure Dad's handwriting. Sorry, Lynn. If you never took possession of the mattress, then, it belongs to Lincoln.
[reading an amendment while taking possession of Lincoln's lamp] "Any hand-me-down not being properly cared for can be claimed by the next sibling in the Line of Succession." This light is covered in dust. [blows the dust off the lamp, which then covers her brother all over]
[hears Lola screaming, runs into the bathroom and finds her and her twin playing tug-of-war over Rita's old bathrobe; takes the robe out of their hands] What the heck is going on in here?!
Lola is trying to steal Mom's old robe from me!
It can never become yours to begin with! You know French terry is my favorite fabric!
Well, I'm two minutes older than you, so I was next in line!
[sticks a yellow sticky note on her twin's nose] That's a "Use It or Lose It" amendment I found. And since you don't even bathe, it gives me the right to TAKE THAT ROBE!
[takes the note off her nose and throws it on the floor] I don't care about your stupid rules! I'm keeping it!
[Lincoln then hears Luna and Luan fighting in their room]
Luna
[as Luan runs out of their room, carrying a leather jacket; angrily] That's my leather jacket, dude! Leni passed it down to me! [chases after her]
Yeah, but this amendment says that disrespecting an item is grounds for forfeiture!
What in the name of Jacques Cousteau is happening in here?!
We're giving the room a boat-chic makeover! It's for our viewing party we're hosting tomorrow.
Luna
[takes off her scuba helmet] We're gonna watch The Dream Boat season finale with Sam and Gavin.
Rumor has it, there's going to be a tidal wave of emotion!
Luna
And an actual tidal wave of water!
[confused] Wouldn't it be simpler to just host your nautical soirée on an actual sea vessel?
Luna
[sarcastically] Yeah, Lis, lemme call all the people we know who own a boat. [pretends to take out her phone] Ah, boop-boop-boop-boop-boop. [into her imaginary phone] Hi, nobody? Do you have a boat we can use? No? Cool. Thanks anyway. [pretends to hang up] Click.
[groans; annoyed] You can't think of anyone, ladies? Because the answer is staring you in the face.
[Leni and Luna glance to a picture of Cliff in the bathtub, looking wet and annoyed]
But how does Cliff drive his boat with those teeny-tiny paws?
Luna
[realizes what Lisa meant] Dude! [pan to the photo of Leonard and his boat] Gramps has his own ship! How did we blank on that?
And nothing says boat-y like a boat! Let's call him and ask!
[Morning at the Loud House… A rooster cock-a-doodle-doos and falls off the roof when Lynn Sr. suddenly starts sneezing loudly while coming down with a cold, and the siblings bolt out of the house]
I heard Dad sneeze! Get inside! [quickly closes the door as her siblings dash inside her apartment]
Ugh. Dad is the worst when he gets a cold. He turns into such a baby. [to Lily] No offense, Lily.
[shrugs; not caring] Mmm.
Okay, guys, don't panic. We can all stay here until Dad is well again. [grabs her bag] I'll run to the grocery store and get supplies, so we can hunker down. [opens the door, ends up bumping into Rita as she appears and falls on the floor]
There you all are. Listen, your dad is a bit under the weather, and I have to get to work. I need you to take care of him till I get home. [the siblings all groan in dismay] I know he can be a little… dramatic when he's sick. [cringes as her husband sneezes loudly]
[off-screen; weakly] I can't feel my face.
All you have to do is make sure he hydrates and rests.
Thanks, kids. I appreciate it. [leaves]
We can do this, guys. As long as we work together… [catches Lola trying to bail by sneaking out the window] Uh, Lola, no sneaking out the window.
[Lola closes the window and grumbles in annoyance; The siblings enter the master bedroom where their father is lying in bed with a red stuffy nose, an ice pack on his head, and a stack of used tissues in a trash can sitting next to him]
[sniffles the mucus in his nose and groans] Who's there? Are those my children?
Luna
It's okay, Pops. You've just got a cold.
Oh, thank you kids for trying to give me hope. I know how bad it is. [sadly writes a will]
[takes the book out his hands] Oh, for the Oath of Hippocrates. [takes out a thermometer] Father, I am going to prove you're overreacting. Open up. [Lynn Sr. groans as she sticks the thermometer in his mouth, then checks her watch] See? 98.7 degrees. You're fine.
[gasps in shock] Fine?! Normal is 98.6! I'm burning up! Can someone make me some toast and tea, please?
The Loud House · 632 quotes
