Oh, honey, you must've been so delirious you trashed the house! I had no idea you were this sick. You need to get to bed immediately. [the porch then collapses, sending both her and her husband to the ground] But not here. Kids, come on. We have to go.
Lynn Sr.Ah! Move to Canada. Smart. Chirpy won't find us there. [chuckles]
No. We'll stay with Aunt Ruth until the house is repaired. She'll be happy to help nurse you back to health. I should warn you, though, she'll want to show you her Malls of the Midwest slideshow.
[to her husband after Lisa leaves the kitchen, carrying the orange vase, mistaking it for the orange juice] Have you noticed Lisa's been acting a little off this week?
[First flashback shows Lisa bumping into a side table and gets dizzy; Second flashback shows her walking and bumping into the rail at the bottom of the stairway]
Pardon me, Father. [third flashback shows her sitting on the stairs while stroking a skunk] Good boy, Cliff. Good boy.
[Zoom out to reveal Lincoln, Leni and Cliff on the opposite while reacting in horror]
Uh, Lisa, that's not Cliff.
[The skunk lets out a huge green gas, making them scream; end of flashbacks]
Lynn Sr.
Yeah, she needs new glasses.
Hey, Dad, what if we took over the restaurant tonight?
Lynn Sr
Aw, that's sweet of you guys, but a night alone's a big responsibility.
[giggles] We know this place like the back of our flawless hands! [takes off her right glove and notices something] Ew! Time for a mani.
C'mon, Lynn. They can do it.
[The siblings agree]
Lynn Sr.
What the heck is going on in here?
[The Loud siblings all sigh, guilty]
LLynn
Yeah, after you guys left, we busted up the living room.
Then we tried to clean up but lost the furniture and ended up running all over town to get it back.
Hence our overactive eccrine glands, street name…
Lynn Sr.
Sweatiness, we know. Look, I'm not jazzed about the cover-up, but at least you guys tried to make things right.
And this is a big family, mishaps come with the territory. It's the law of the Loud house.
Still, we're so sorry about the couch, dudes.
Maybe you should come see what's outside.
[The parents return home with pizza and react in shock to see the broken vase]
You broke our vase again?! [The Loud siblings all smile, not caring] And you're happy about it?
Lynn Sr.
[sternly] Okay, that is it. Everyone is grounded for two months!
(Closes the employee manual) That's everything. Look, you have your first customer.
Lynn Sr.
(As Luan smiles) Hi! Nice to meat you. I hear there was a new employee at the Burpin' B so I hustled down here to ketchup!
(giggling) Lettuce ketchup indeed! I hope the new employee isn't BEEFING it! (giggles) Get it?
CCustomer
C'mon, brah. You're gonna order or what?
Hang on, we're on a roll! You gotta RELISH it!
(She giggles and her father laughs)
LLLincoln and Lynn Sr.
The Lynn-sagna!
Lynn Sr.
[having enough; enraged] That's it. You just got yourself uninvited from Thanksgiving!
Well, thank you. Now, I won't have to choke on your dry-turkey. And you can forget about coming for Christmas.
Lynn Sr.
Good! We don't like your soggy tamales anyway!
[gasps in horrified shock] This friendship is officially over!
Lynn Sr.
Fine by me! Lincoln, say goodbye to Ronnie Anne. Forever!
You too, Ronnie Anne. [The two chefs’ kids are shocked by their parents’ behavior]
LRLincoln and Ronnie Anne
Wait, what? Lincoln: I don’t want that!
You guys, what are we doing? We’re ruining our friendship for some fancy kitchen?
Lynn Sr.
Hey, there, Vic, old buddy, old pal. Afraid we got some bad news for you.
We just discovered that according to state regulations, Gila monsters are not allowed in hotel establishments. Animal Control is on the way as we speak.
VVic
[horrified] AH! Okay, okay, I'll give you your money back. I'll bump you up to red level. Just call off Animal Control!
Lynn Sr.
All we want is the vacation we were promised.
VVic
Deal! Are you doing it? Are you calling? I can't see!
Apologies, dear friends. I'm afraid my spell work has suffered since my exile aboard that cruise ship.
[lying on a grave; moaning] Sigh… Big sigh…
Worry not, Lucy. We shall get to the Underworld someday.
It's not that. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my tragic arrival on this Earth.
MMorticians
[confused] Huh?
[Boris plays a sad tune, while the other Morticians approach her for comfort]
Oh, why must normie society insist on celebrating life?
I'm afraid my birthdays are even worse than a typical normie celebration. Every year, my family subjects me to the same traditions. [Flashback to one of her birthdays; narrating] They start the day at a frightening pitch.
FLFlashback Louds
[barge into her and Lynn's room with balloons, noisemakers, and confetti after she wakes up] Happy Birthday, Lucy!
[Cut to later of Rita putting the Loud birthday sash on her, which hasn't been washed]
[narrating] Then they force me to wear the traditional Loud birthday sash. I suspect it's never been washed.
FLFlashback Lana
Hey, it's my booger from my 3rd birthday! [eats it, making Lucy gag]
[Cut to the Louds bouncing inside a bouncy house, that's clearly been reused for countless birthdays]
[narrating] Then I'll be subjected to the dreaded bouncy castle, a family birthday staple ever since my dad got it on clearance.
FLFlashback Lynn Sr.
See, Rita? I told you we'd get our money's worth.
[Cut to the Louds singing the birthday song for Lucy at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet]
[narrating] Then, there's the singing. [shudders] Oh, the singing.
FLFlashback Louds
[singing] ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
FLFlashback Lucy
Sigh… finally, the torture ends.
FLFlashback Luna
Now in French, les dudes! [starts singing the birthday song in French with the waiters] ♪ Bon anniversaire à toi, bon anniversaire à toi… ♪
Groan… [back to present; the Morticians gasp in horror] I wish my family would just forget about my birthday.
[An RV pulls up in front of the house and Rita steps out with a smile on her face]
Lynn Sr.
Rita? Whose RV is this?
Ours! At least for the summer. Earlier today, I was in Jesse's office at the Gazette.
[Flashback to earlier…]
JJesse
[on the phone] Here's the cover story, Linda: Travel writer does column about manure farms in Michigan. Editor Jesse Hiller, furious! Nobody wants to read about cow doo-doo over their morning coffee. Well, I've just been handed this news update: YOU'RE FIRED! [angrily hangs up] Oh, what am I gonna do, Rita? Wanted: Someone to write our summer travel column. Someone willing to hit the road, zigzagging the country in an RV, all expenses paid, willing to start extra, extra soon!
[Back to present]
Yep, and she's letting me write the column! What do you say? You folks up for a summer-long adventure?
[Lynn Sr. and the siblings all cheer]
Finally, I'll escape this fourth-rate town!
[The Louds arrive at Dr. Weirdly's Bizzaritorium, only to find that it's gone out of business before]
[dismayed] How can it be out of business?!
What a shocker, huh? Who isn't into a bunch of creepy, old tchotchkes?
Aw, I'm so sorry, sweetie.
Lynn Sr.
Look on the bright side, kiddo. We've begun with a big summer ahead of us. I bet we'll find a mummy somewhere else cuz we want to find a mummy somewhere else!
[overhearing Lincoln, realizing he stole the Mummy's cursed ring and cursed the family] MOM! Lincoln stole a ring from the Mystic Mummy of Mystery and cursed our family!
[The other sisters berate Lincoln for cursing them]
Not to mention the ring is tacky. [lightning strikes close to where she's standing] Sorry, Mr. Mystic Mummy of Mystery, sir!
Folks, I'm sorry. It was a honest mistake. Can't I just put it back?
Unfortunately, no. According to my spell book, once you put the ring on, you activated the curse.
Lynn Sr.
[dismayed] Well, that's just great! I guess we're cursed for life for now! Check that off the old bucket list!
Not necessarily. According to this, there is one way to lift the curse. We'll be able to make an offering to the spirit of the mummy cuz we wanna make an offering to the spirit of the mummy. But we'll gather ingredients for a potion first cuz we want to gather ingredients for a potion first.
I'm sorry. We do not need to have many times for that. We need to get to that barrel race. That mummy is just gonna wait. [tries to head back to Camperzilla, reaches for the door, but lightning strikes, knocking her back on her back] Okay, offering it is.
[After the Mummy's spirit disappears while the curse was lifted…]
[sits up] Folks, it worked!
Lynn Sr.
[chuckles] Well, may you look at that if you people like to look at that? The Louds conquered a very ancient curse! Go, us!
[realizes] Just one problem. [checks her watch] We've only forgotten 30 minutes to get to Niagra Falls in time for the Barrel Day competition! We'll never make it cuz we never want to make it!
[The Louds arrive in the state of Washington D.C to visit the White House]
It's amazing that Jesse got us VIP tour passes to the White House! Are you kids excited back there?
LLynn
I know I am! I read that the White House has its own bowling-alley.
I hear there's a whole room devoted to ice cream sundaes.
I can't wait to see the dresses worn by all the First Ladies.
Lynn Sr.
I'm excited to take a real peek at that kitchen. I bet they have wooden spatulas dating back to the 1800s. Oh, I can just imagine all the splinters I'm gonna get!
The Loud House · 632 quotes
