A character in SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
4th most-quoted character in SpongeBob SquarePants: in 261 of its 1,068 quotes
Most scenes with: Abrasive SpongeBob (181), Squidward (104), Patrick (61)
Like we're really gonna turn all this money for-
Wrestle Camp! Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp, Wrestle Camp!
Wrestle Camp it is.
[The janitor vacuums up all the money and Mr. Krabs falls apart, then the janitor walks away]
See you at Wrestle Camp, Mr. Krabs! [drops a wrestle camp hat on Mr. Krabs and the episode ends]
Here's the slop you ordered. [tosses tray of food down on customer's table] Enjoy. If you can choke it down. [laughs]
[writes] Be rude to customers and insult food. Nasally laugh.
[Bubble transition to Squidward throwing a bag of trash at the dumpster out back. He breaks the bag open. SpongeBob does the same. Squidward pats SpongeBob on the head. Bubble transition.]
Can I get a Krabby Patty Combo?
No.
How about a Double Krabby?
No.
Can I get a Triple Patty with cheese?
[nudging Squidward] Oh I think you've had way too many of those. [both laugh like Squidward as the customer walks off angry. Cut to another trash bag broken being thrown at the dumpster. SpongeBob tosses a tray on a customers table, spilling the drinks on the floor]
Taught him everything he knows. [more bags of trash being broken and customers getting burnt food or food thrown at them. SpongeBob and Squidward are snoring the bathroom while customers are waiting to use the stalls. Customers are clamoring in line while SpongeBob and Squidward are snoring at the cash register as Mr. Krabs enters]
[angry] What are you two doing?! Get to work! I'm used to Squidward sleeping on the job, but I expect more from you, Mr. SquarePants!
I am not SpongeBob SquarePants, Mr. Krabs!
What in the name of Davy Jones are you talking about?!
I mean, do these pants look square to you? They're round!
Yeah, so?
I can't be SpongeBob SquarePants with round pants!
Who told you that?
Patrick.
[Pans quickly to Patrick about to eat but stops and puts his Krabby Patty down as he realizes his error.]
Well, why don't you just take them off?
[Bubble transition to SpongeBob bringing out a Krabby Patty in his underwear.]
Order up, Squidward!
Well well, if it isn't SpongeBob UnderPants! [chuckles. SpongeBob notices he's in his underwear and screams as the episode ends]
Okay, boy, get out there. [throws SpongeBob outside towards Plankton's robot and SpongeBob gets grabbed by the robot]
Um... hello... what do you want robot thing, sir? [Plankton walks out on a boardwalk] Oh, hey Plankton! What are you doing here?
I'm here for the secret formula you twit! Now I want you to go in there and tell Krabs that if he doesn't turn over the formula to me, that he'll be subjected to utter annihilation at my... Are you getting this? [SpongeBob inhales and shakes his head; Plankton face palms and groans] Agh! Idiot! Okay, I'll make it simple: Krabs give me secret formula or I bring big boom-boom to Krusty Krab. Got it?
[writing on clipboard] Krabs give me secret formula or... uhhh... what was that other thing?
[groans frustratedly] Forget it! [marches back into his command module, drops SpongeBob] Bring on the Boom-Boom! [laughs]
[Plankton's robot starts marching toward the Krusty Krab]
Battle stations, men! Here he comes!
We're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed, we're all doomed!
[walking out of the Krusty Krab] Later.
[The robot continues to march again with Plankton. But then, you notice that the extension cord that is powering the robot is about to be unplugged. The robot stops only foot away from the Krusty Krab]
Hey, what gives?
[SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs emerge from the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs laughed at Plankton's failed attempt and the two walked away.]
That guy still flopping?
Yeah! Amazing, isn't it?
Doesn't that get old?
He's got a point.
Yeah. You've seen enough?
Yeah, let's get out of here. [He, Frank, and another customer throw their food on the floor and leave]
Me, too. I'm out. [He throws his food on the floor and leaves like everybody else]
What? Wait! Don't go! Why ya leaving?
This guy's act is stale! We crave excitement! [all the other customers argue]
Okay, Okay! You want excitement? What if I added a box? [puts Patrick on a box as he falls from it] Huh? Huh?
Sort of the same, really.
Yeah.
Oh, okay, so what if he flopped from two boxes...? [adds another box, but the customers are still bored] ...into a cream pie? [puts a cream pie in place]
I like pie.
Say now.
That, I'd pay to see!
You're not wearing shoes, lad! You're not going section 8 on me, are you?
I was wearing shoes, they... it's so hot, they melted off.
Today's a big a day for the Krusty Krab, so I want yous to listen up. [pushes the button. It causes a shield to go around the Krusty Krab] It's a perfect opportunity for Plankton to try and steal the Krabby Patty formula. [pulls a lever that looks like a handle on a table]
Isn't that just the Krusty Krab?
No. It's a holographic projection of the Krusty Krab. I want you two to watch all the entrances.
You mean the front door and the back door?
Those are just the ones on the surface. There is an entire network of tunnels and air ducts underground and I want all eyes on the look out!
Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs. [eyes grow on him, filling his holes]
Right. Study the map, stay extra vigilant. Don't fall asleep on the job. That means you, Squidward.
What?! I have never fallen asleep on duty.
Don't make me have a flashback.
[as it is still panning in] It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! I give up, Karen. Krabs has won!
Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number.
Oh, yeah? You try getting launched.
Oh, right, the launchings. [her face is replaced by a loading bar and the word "accessing" above it] I've got them all on my hard drive.
[The scene shows, on Karen's monitor, Mr. Krabs in a baseball uniform, exiting the Krusty Krab. The scene shifts to show just the scene. Mr. Krabs pushes Plankton into the air. Mr. Krabs does this with a glove that he is wearing. Mr. Krabs spits and then throws Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' claw putting down a golf tee. He puts Plankton on the tee. He is then shown in a golf outfit, holding a golf club. He then prepares to hit Plankton]
Fore! [hits Plankton, who hits the Chum Bucket]
Ow!
[The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs riding on a seahorse, wearing a polo uniform, and holding a polo stick. Plankton is shown running. away from the polo stick. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding a slingshot with Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs is holding the slingshot back. Mr. Krabs releases the slingshot. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a hockey uniform holding a hockey stick. He is pushing Plankton on some ice that is outside of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs with a curling stone that has Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs pushes the curling stone on the ice. SpongeBob takes a broom and sweeps and walks backwards until he reaches the Chum Bucket. Plankton screams until he hits the Chum Bucket doors. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob in football uniforms. SpongeBob is holding Plankton horizontally in front of Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs runs up and kicks Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. There is a goal post painted on the Chum Bucket. SpongeBob pops and puts both his arms horizontally in the air, signally that Mr. Krabs got the point. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding Plankton, walking outside the Krusty Krab]
I'm tired today, Plankton. [drops Plankton] You're just gonna have to launch yourself. [walks back inside]
[tears up. He walks to the Chum Bucket and hits his head on the door] Splat. [begins to cry]
[Karen's laughing is heard. The scene pans out to show the scene on Karen's monitor. The scene shifts to not-recording Plankton]
Karen?!
[The footage is removed and replaced with Karen]
I'm sorry. That last part always makes me laugh.
[jumps off his desk] It's just no use!
Today's the perfect day to steal the recipe. Krabs will be completely distracted by all the festivities. You can do this.
You really think so?
Of course, I do. Now who's my big man?
Oh, Karen.
Come on. Come on. Who's my big strong man?
I am.
That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe.
[saluting Karen] Yes, Ma'am!
We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties!
Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior.
Are you getting any of this, SpongeBob?
Every word, Squidward, every word.
SpongeBob! [groans in anger] Why must you always ruin my plans?!
Plankton, you're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again.
Uh, I didn't, uh...Okay fine. You caught me. You happy now?
You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories.
Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me.
Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office.
[A flashback begins. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in Mr. Krabs' office]
SpongeBob, you've been working here for a while now, so I think I can trust you. It's time I told you.
[screams and gasps] You mean?
Yes. The Krabby Patty formular. Follow me, son. [puts his arm around SpongeBob and they start walking] We need to go where no one will ever hear us. [they walk out of the Krusty Krab, leaving Bikini Bottom, going through a jungle while wearing safari explorer clothing, through the desert while wearing desert clothing, on the seas in a storm while wearing rain coats and hats, crossing a bridge in the mountains, climbing up the mountain while wearing winter clothing, and walking up to flat land. They are tired and dirty] Ugh. We finally made it. [pushes SpongeBob ahead quickly until they reach the back of the Krusty Krab; opens the door] Quick, into me office before anyone sees us. [closes the door]
[The flashback ends]
What? You went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay in the Krusty Krab?
We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then, Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe.
Yes? Go on.
[The flashback resumes. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in the Krusty Krab. They are cleaned up.]
Now, remember, you can never tell another living soul.
Wait! [trying to write it down] Wait! Hold on!
[holding on to the edge of the bubble] What's that?
My pen is out of ink! [tries to get the pen to work. Eventually, it works] Okay, okay, go ahead.
Plankton. [grabs Plankton and rolls him up like a ball] You'll never have get me formula--not even in a flashback! [laughs and throws Plankton through another grate]
For instance, did you know that SpongeBob was not the first choice to star in the show? [gasps] Hard to believe, I know. Watch these opening themes, and you'll see why he was eventually picked.
[The classic film countdown happens. Painty is shown.]
Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain.
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Squidward's house] ♪Who lives in a monument under the sea?♪
[The door opens and Squidward is shown with pants. He looks down in shock. Hans takes the pants off and Squidward smiles.]
♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ [Squidward falls into a bathtub and his head expands]
♪Obnoxious, abrasive, conceded is he!♪ [water comes out of Squidward's mouth and it covers the screen. One it clears, his name is shown in bubbles]
♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ [the name bubbles pop]
[as Squidward is shown four times riding his recumbent bicycle with part of his name behind each of the bikes] ♪If practical common sense be something you wish...♪
♪Squidward Tentacles!♪
[off-screen] Neeext!
[The classic film countdown happens again. Painty is shown but with a different mouth.]
Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain.
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Patrick's house] ♪Who lives like a barnacle under the sea?♪
♪Patrick Sea Star!♪ [the rock opens and Patrick is shown in his underwear. Hans puts his pants on]
[laughs] Whoa! [falls and starts guffawing]
[off-screen] Nope!
[The classic film countdown happens again and Painty is shown for the third time, but with another different mouth.]
Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain.
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Mr. Krabs' house] ♪Who lives in an anchor under the sea?♪
[the door opens to show Mr. Krabs kissing a bag of money. Hans appears and pulls it away] ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪
Hey!
♪Crusty and red and greedy is he.♪ [the scene shows Hans taking the bag away. Mr. Krabs is following him]
Come back with me money! [money starts to fall out and Mr. Krabs grabs it]
♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ [Mr. Krabs passes some money and goes back to it and picks it up]
♪If stingy and greedy is something you wish...♪
♪Eugene Krabs does!♪
Money, money, money, money, money, money.
[the scene returns to him] Ugh. Pretty cruddy, huh, kids?
Don't let it out of your sight, boy-o.
[salutes with his spatula] You can always count on me, Mr. K!
Hey, where do you want this life-size cutout of you, Mr. Krabs?
No! [goes inside SpongeBob]
[offscreen] I told ya to stop playing with that thing and get back to work!
[Plankton unplugs SpongeBob's ear drum]
Let me see what I can tune in here. Hmm.
The secret of the Krabby Patty formula is-
Jackpot!
Huh?
I said-
Could you speak a little louder, please?
The secret to the Krabby Patty formula-
What?
Hold on.
Here it comes!
[shouting into a megaphone] THE SECRET TO THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS...! [The shouting causes Plankton's ears to pop]
OW! I hate my life!
Oh, no! Did somebody call the Health inspector?
Did somebody call a... Health inspector?
Hey! [flips over box] Where's the toy?
Oh, it doesn't come with a toy.
What!? That's a rip off! I want my money back!
[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs taking a money bath]
[wakes up] Money back?! [walks out of office with towel wrapped around him] What's the problem here?
My Kiddy meal didn't come with a toy!
Hmm. And you'd like to upgrade to the toy package is that right?
Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't have any toys.
Oh, really? [takes Krabby Patty away from customer] Then what do you call?... [fixes Krabby Patty] this? [The Krabby Patty now has eyes, legs, a mouth, and arms made from kitchen ingredients; Patrick and SpongeBob gasp]
An officially licensed Krusty Krab toy? [smiles]
Abrasive SpongeBobTom Kenny · 691 quotes
PatrickBill Fagerbakke · 344 quotes
SquidwardRodger Bumpass · 334 quotes
PPlankton138 quotes
SandyCarolyn Lawrence · 76 quotes
KarenJill Talley · 44 quotes
Mrs. PuffMary Jo Catlett · 37 quotes
French NarratorTom Kenny · 32 quotes
GaryTom Kenny · 30 quotes
PatchyTom Kenny · 23 quotes
PearlLori Alan · 22 quotes
FredMr. Lawrence · 19 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
