Painty quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Patchy

For instance, did you know that SpongeBob was not the first choice to star in the show? [gasps] Hard to believe, I know. Watch these opening themes, and you'll see why he was eventually picked.

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain.

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Squidward's house] ♪Who lives in a monument under the sea?♪

♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ [Squidward falls into a bathtub and his head expands]

♪Obnoxious, abrasive, conceded is he!♪ [water comes out of Squidward's mouth and it covers the screen. One it clears, his name is shown in bubbles]

♪Squidward Tentacles!♪ [the name bubbles pop]

[as Squidward is shown four times riding his recumbent bicycle with part of his name behind each of the bikes] ♪If practical common sense be something you wish...♪

♪Squidward Tentacles!♪

Patchy

[off-screen] Neeext!

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain.

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Patrick's house] ♪Who lives like a barnacle under the sea?♪

♪Patrick Sea Star!♪ [the rock opens and Patrick is shown in his underwear. Hans puts his pants on]

Patrick

[laughs] Whoa! [falls and starts guffawing]

Patchy

[off-screen] Nope!

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain.

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

Oh... [Bikini Atoll is shown. The bubble transition goes until it shows Mr. Krabs' house] ♪Who lives in an anchor under the sea?♪

[the door opens to show Mr. Krabs kissing a bag of money. Hans appears and pulls it away] ♪Eugene Krabs does!♪

Hey!

♪Crusty and red and greedy is he.♪ [the scene shows Hans taking the bag away. Mr. Krabs is following him]

Come back with me money! [money starts to fall out and Mr. Krabs grabs it]

♪Eugene Krabs does!♪ [Mr. Krabs passes some money and goes back to it and picks it up]

♪If stingy and greedy is something you wish...♪

♪Eugene Krabs does!♪

Money, money, money, money, money, money.

Patchy

[the scene returns to him] Ugh. Pretty cruddy, huh, kids?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

GrandPat Sea Star!

Huh? [falls into a bathtub] Woah!

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.

GrandPat Sea Star!

If nautical nonsense be something you wish.

GrandPat Sea Star!

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

GrandPat Sea Star!

Ready?

GrandPat Sea Star! GrandPat Sea Star! GrandPat Sea Star! [GrandPat mumbles as his body contorts until he's back to his sea star shape. He falls, screaming, onto some letters spelling out his name. His pants fall off and hop across the letters. His scooter then falls from above and pushes him down.]

GrandPat... Sea Star! [laughs]

Are you ready, kids?

Aye-aye, captain!

I can't hear you!

Aye-aye, captain!

Ohhhh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

SpongeBob SquarePants! [the hand puts SpongeBob's pants on]

Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

If nautical nonsense be somethin' you wish!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

Ready?

SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants! [laughs]