[The scene changes to show Sandy's treedome. The scene then shows her reading a book in a rocking chair in her tree. She hears a noise, which is SpongeBob and Patrick's laughter. She checks to see what it is, but there is supposedly nothing there. She gets up and goes to her window.]
Huh? [the outside of her tree is shown] Well, that's funny, I thought I heard voices. Huh? [walks up to a glass of juice on the floor] I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table. [walks over to a table with a lamp covered in garbage] And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Patrick?!
[Photos of Patrick are on the walls and tables, and the rug has his face on it. Sandy turns around and sees SpongeBob and Patrick covered in white sheets over their heads as they wail.]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
We're ghosts.
[SpongeBob and Patrick wail again. Sandy laughs.]
I knew it was you guys! Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets. [pulls off the sheets and notices there is nothing there, then gasps] It is ghosts!
[Sandy shrieks. She takes out a remote with a large red button. She presses the button and an escape pod that is in the shape of an acorn appears out of some panels. She enters the escape pod and presses a button. The escape pod flies out of her dome, above the water, past the Bikini Bottom island, and lands in Texas. The escape pod explodes in Texas. SpongeBob and Patrick leave Sandy's house, laughing.]
Boy, we really scared her!
[SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.]
PatrickWho's gonna be our next victim?
A better question would be, "Who isn't?"
[The scene changes to show Mrs. Puff's house, where she is preparing to eat a piece of cake.]
Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake! [laughs] You will soon be mine. [Patrick and possibly SpongeBob eat(s) the cake, making it look like ghosts have eaten it. Patrick's face is covered in cake. He belches loudly and wipes it off] Oh! [gets filled up with air and then lets it out flying all around] Ghosts!
[Her deflated body lands on the table.]
[voice only, invisible] Krabs, we've come to haunt you!
[as the ball bounces on his paddle ball faster] Stay back! I'm well-armed! [the barrel floats by] I'm warning you! [scissors cut the string from the paddle ball he's using]
SPSpongeBob/Patrick
[voices only, invisible] Boo!
[Mr. Krabs breaks out of his armor and shrieks in horror.]
I gotta get out of here! [bumps into the door, only to find out the doors were glued]
[voice only, invisible] You can't escape, Krabs! We've glued the door shut!
Patrick
Yeah.
Patrick
[reading his name tag that says, "HELLO, MY NAME IS PATRICK" upside down] Kirtap si eman, Y, M, O, 77, eh. I don't get it.
No, you dumb bunny! It says "Hello, my name is Patrick"!
Patrick
[shakes his hand] Nice to meet you, Patrick!
[laughs] Good one, Patrick! [both laugh]
Patrick
[he and Mr. Krabs laugh] Yeah.
What's going on here?! The laughter isn't scheduled until 9:03! You want to throw a party, do it at your house, Patrick.
Patrick
Was he talking to me or you?
Patrick
Well, it's like my grandpa used to say. [a thought cloud appears over his head; Grandpa SquarePants is inside it again]
If we were meant to fly... [notices Patrick] Hey, I'm not your grandfather! [pokes Patrick in the head with his cane; the thought cloud disappears]
Well, here I go, Patrick! [runs to the front] I'm off to fly with the jellyfish! Ignition, check! [spins the propeller around] Landing gear... [kicks the tire] check! Complimentary peanuts... [holds up a bag of peanuts] check-a-rooni. [hops into the cockpit, now with a hat and glasses on] Ready for takeoff! [pushes a handle forward; the plane starts up, then comes to pieces; the propeller spins through the air and slices through a grain silo next to the farm; sand pours out of it and covers him and Patrick]
Patrick
You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!
JJenkins
[runs up] I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines. Now git! [Patrick and SpongeBob run away]
Patrick
We better do what he says. He knows how to grow food!
Patrick
Okay.
Go! [Patrick starts pedaling; lifts up off the bucket he is standing on and flies through the air] It's working! I'm flying! [flies past three fish on the side of the road]
[A crowd of fish is searching for SpongeBob.]
[hiding behind a rock] If I don't give these feverish favor-seekers the slip, I'll never get to fly with the jellyfish. [quietly flies away]
Hey! There he is! [SpongeBob flies faster] He's getting away!
[The angry crowd chases after him, into Downtown Bikini Bottom; while SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line, the crowd runs up and down each building; they stop at a cliff, before Jellyfish Fields; SpongeBob keeps flying.]
I'm almost at Jellyfish Fields. I'm gonna make it!
He's headed for Jellyfish Fields! We'll never catch him now!
CJCannonball Jenkins
[off-screen] I'll take care of this!
CCrowd
It's Cannonball Jenkins!
CJCannonball Jenkins
[inside a lit cannon, wearing a red helmet and suit; launches out of the cannon and toward SpongeBob; he collides with him, and SpongeBob's inflatable pants explode; the two hurtle toward the ground; SpongeBob falls even further as Cannonball Jenkins opens up a red parachute] I told you nothing good would come from city folk and their flying machines! [the crowd watches as SpongeBob crashes to the ground; they walk over]
What have we done? [starts to cry] Come on, everybody! I think a proper burial is in order. [picks up the pants] A pair of pants like these come around... once in a lifetime. [the crowd leaves; SpongeBob, now in his underwear, regains consciousness]
Well, it was fun while it lasted. [walks up to Jellyfish Fields, then walks away] I guess I'm not meant to fly after all. [sighs; starts to raise up in the air; a group of jellyfish are below him, carrying him up] Huh? Hey! My jellyfish friends are helping me fly! Without pants! I guess it just goes to show... [the jellyfish carry him back to Bikini Bottom] ♪You don't need a plane to fly♪ [Incidental 41 looks out the window at him] ♪Plastic wings may make you cry♪ [a flock of scallops fly by] ♪Kites are made for windy days. Lawn chair with balloons... fly away♪ [the crowd of fish bury SpongeBob's pants as the mourn over them] ♪Inflatable pants... you may as well skip!♪ [arrives at his home; the jellyfish put him back on the ground] ♪If you want to fly, all you need... is friendship. Yeah.♪ [the jellyfish buzz away; waves] Goodbye, jellies! You taught me a valuable lesson. Although I'm not quite sure what it was.
Patrick
[walks up] Hey! Let's fly down to the pizza house for a slice.
No more flying for me, Patrick. I'll leave that to the jellyfish. [opens his door]
Patrick
Suit yourself. [lifts up his arm and flies]
[turns back around] Did Patrick just...? [laughs] Nah! [enters his house again, but opens the door one last time, just to make sure]
At least I still have my Sunday pedicure to look forward to. [SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing inside Squidward's house. Squidward opens his front door] What are you two doing in my house?
We're checking to make sure this guy really is a certified foot masseur and not some kind of assassin.
Patrick
Well I say he checks out a-ok.
Squidward, have you ever seen more lovely French tips? [shows foot with long toenails]
French tips, huh?! [pushes SpongeBob and Patrick's chair out of the way] All right, pal, make with the relaxing foot massage, pronto!
HHarold (red fish)
Uh-oh. Uh, sorry. Your hour's up. [packs up and leaves]
Alright, you two. OUT! [SpongeBob and Patrick walk to the front door] And don't even think about dragging your empty skulls around here for the rest of the day! Or tomorrow, or next week!
Squidward, does that include-?
YES, IT DOES! [furiously slams the door shut]
Gee, Patrick, do you think Squidward was trying to tell us something?
[busts head through the door] YES, I WAS!!! You call yourselves good neighbors?! YOU'RE THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER! [angrily inhales] You don't deserve to wear those FEZZES! [takes SpongeBob and Patrick's fezzes off and rapidly stomps them into the ground]
Gee, Pat, maybe President Squidward's right.
Patrick
Yeah, I guess we aren't good neighbors after all.
NO, YOU AREN'T!!! YOU'RE HORRIBLE NEIGHBORS! [angrily inhales again] And STOP calling me president! [pops his head back inside]
Come on, let's go. [he and Patrick walk off sadly]
[walks in angrily] Too old for an action movie. Huh!
What is it this time, kid?
Are you aware Drippy Brothers Studio is making the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie?
They can't be making a movie about us!
But they are, and they're using... [snap to a live-action close-up of his mouth] ...actors. [the heroes gasp] They have shunned our heroes.
Patrick
And they weren't nice to them either.
[sobs] Now our dreams of being big screen heroes will never come true.
Well, that makes it even worse.
[puts his hands on Mermaid Man's back] You bet it does, kid.
And the worst part is...I can't remember why I started crying. [sobs some more]
Patrick
Why don't we just make our own movie?
Patrick, once again, you have exposed your brilliance. We'll make a real Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy movie, right here at Shady Shoals.
Yes, and in doing so, we will right the wrong done to you by the evil Drippy Brother Studios and... [same close-up of his mouth from before] ...their actors.
[jumps on top of the table] Vindication is ours! Vindi...How did I get up here?
Patrick
Good morning, SpongeBob.
Everything's ruined! Well, at least we got the footage!
Patrick
Yeah, I got the footage.
[notices something] Patrick, what is that?
Patrick
Oh, it's a camera.
[takes off lens cap] No, Patrick. This! [points at the lens cap]
Patrick
Oh, that's a lens cap.
[surprised] Did you just put that on?!
Patrick
No, I didn't want to lose it, so I put it there right before we started filming.
[SpongeBob screams, Patrick becomes confused and watches SpongeBob go insane, he scoots his butt on the ground much to Squidward and Mr. Krabs' shock, lifts up piece of ground, and eats worms on bottom side. Patrick, Sandy and Pearl gasp.]
[sobbing] The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie!
[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]
You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?
Not at these prices. Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is.
Patrick
This is a hospital?
Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school.
PSPatrick and SpongeBob
Hooray!
FMr. Fitz
Well, if there was a "destroy the city" part of the test, you would have.
Patrick
[takes pants off SpongeBob's head] The nerve of some people.
FMr. Fitz
Sorry, SpongeBob, you failed again. Even our finest instructor could not teach you. Mrs. Puff, you're hired again.
[at boating school] Hey, Mrs. Puff! Sorry I'm "unteachable."
It's okay. Mr. Fitz gave me my teaching certificate back. [sniffles, holds up a burnt, charred object] And your dossier was destroyed in the explosion, [voice breaking] so it's as if you never failed.
I got you a welcome back gift, Mrs. Puff. [shows name tag] I found all the pieces and glued them back together. I promise it won't take me a million tries this time.
[Mrs. Puff puts her head down on her desk and begins to sob quietly, and the name tag shatters as the episode ends]
PProfessor Percy
Well, Miss Cheeks, I must say you have exceeded expectations.
RLord Reginald
It may be the extreme head trauma I've suffered, but I am going to offer you a 20-year contract with a substantial pay raise.
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Hooray!
PProfessor Percy
I expect great things out of you, Miss Cheeks. Great things.
RLord Reginald
Perhaps you could put your talents toward that automatic poop-throwing machine that's eluded us for so long.
MDr. Marmalade
Now, now, one miracle at a time.
Well, the only thing left is to figure out what to do with this infernal contraption.
Patrick
My turn. [sits on his invention] Whoo-hoo! [machine turns on and he screams] All right!
Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.
Patrick
What does "claustrophobic" mean?
It means he's afraid of Santa Claus!
Patrick
HO, HO, HO! [giggles]
Stop it, Patrick! You're scaring him!
Patrick
HO, HO, HO! [giggles]
It's not working, Patrick.
Patrick
Darn.
[shoves Patrick] Stop pushing me Patrick.
Patrick
You mean like this? [shoves Squidward]
No like this! [shoves Patrick]
[both Patrick and Squidward are fighting] You shouldn't fight in here. This is a magical place.
[Scene zooms to outside the well]
Patrick, get off of me! [scene zooms back into the well where Patrick is sitting on Squidward] I told you I am claustrophobic!
Patrick
Nice try, Squidward, but there's no Santa Claus here.
[scene cuts to Patrick running down the street to his rock]
Patrick
Working at the Krusty Krab. Making Krabby Patties all day. Flipping Krusty Krab working patties krab... uhh, that's a hard song to remember. [opens his rock and jumps in] Huh?
[sitting in the corner of Patrick's rock] Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like trash? I don't think so!
Patrick
SpongeBob? Is that you?
[turns around with a demented smile on his face] I've been waiting for you, Patrick! [walks towards Patrick, growling]
Patrick
SpongeBob, you're scaring me. [yells]
[SpongeBob laughs maniacally and closes in around Patrick]
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
