SpongeBob! [groans in anger] Why must you always ruin my plans?!
SpongeBobPlankton, you're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again.
Uh, I didn't, uh...Okay fine. You caught me. You happy now?
SpongeBob
You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories.
Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me.
SpongeBob
Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office.
[A flashback begins. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in Mr. Krabs' office]
FKFlashback Mr. Krabs
SpongeBob, you've been working here for a while now, so I think I can trust you. It's time I told you.
FSFlashback SpongeBob
[screams and gasps] You mean?
FKFlashback Mr. Krabs
Yes. The Krabby Patty formular. Follow me, son. [puts his arm around SpongeBob and they start walking] We need to go where no one will ever hear us. [they walk out of the Krusty Krab, leaving Bikini Bottom, going through a jungle while wearing safari explorer clothing, through the desert while wearing desert clothing, on the seas in a storm while wearing rain coats and hats, crossing a bridge in the mountains, climbing up the mountain while wearing winter clothing, and walking up to flat land. They are tired and dirty] Ugh. We finally made it. [pushes SpongeBob ahead quickly until they reach the back of the Krusty Krab; opens the door] Quick, into me office before anyone sees us. [closes the door]
[The flashback ends]
What? You went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay in the Krusty Krab?
SpongeBob
We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then, Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe.
[The flashback resumes. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in the Krusty Krab. They are cleaned up.]
FKFlashback Mr. Krabs
Now, remember, you can never tell another living soul.
Wait! [trying to write it down] Wait! Hold on!
FKFlashback Mr. Krabs
[holding on to the edge of the bubble] What's that?
My pen is out of ink! [tries to get the pen to work. Eventually, it works] Okay, okay, go ahead.
FKFlashback Mr. Krabs
Plankton. [grabs Plankton and rolls him up like a ball] You'll never have get me formula--not even in a flashback! [laughs and throws Plankton through another grate]
[Squidward has completed his turn in Tic-Tac-Toe.]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Hmmmm...
I'm not seeing anything there.
SpongeBob
Yeah, looks like a lot of junk.
What do you mean you're not seeing anything? There's three in a row right here! Tic-Tac-Toe!
[Squidward starts to get irritated.]
SpongeBob
Yeah, relax, Squidward, we're just here to have fun.
SpongeBob
Did you hear that, Neptune said this was all because of me.
SSadie
Did you hear that? Neptune said it was all because of that guy! [citizens with torches, pitchforks, splinters, and other weapons form a mob with the damaged city in the background]
PPoliceman
He did, did he?
SpongeBob
Yes, Patrick?
Do you think now's a good time to get those Triple Gooberry Sundays you were talking about?
SpongeBob
I think now would be an excellent time, yes. [the episode ends with he and Patrick screaming whilst getting chased by the angry mob]
Hey, pal, want some of my cotton candy? They gave it to me when I won the dart tournament. I got this, too! Check it out! [shows off his ribbon pin]
SpongeBob
That's nice, Patrick, but I don't want any cotton candy.
Well, have some. It'll make you feel better.
SpongeBob
[his patience has run out and becomes annoyed] I said I don't want any! [turns and knocks it onto the ground]
You ruined my cotton candy!
SpongeBob
[enraged] Good! Maybe now you know how I feel about you ruining my life!
BTBall Toss Vendor
Check it out! Public fight!
OVOther Vendor
Working at the carnival sure has its perks!
[The crowd gathers around SpongeBob and Patrick]
SpongeBob
I have never felt so ashamed.
SpongeBob
If it wasn't for your Forever Glue, I wouldn't be stuck in this thing!
But I was only trying to help!
SpongeBob
[berates Patrick and shouts very furiously] Help?! I think you've "helped" quite enough today!
[becomes sad and his eyes tear up, chastened] Okay, if that's how you feel... I won't help you anymore!
[Upset and hurt, Patrick runs off crying hysterically, and the crowd forms a silent angry mob at SpongeBob]
SpongeBob
[laughs nervously] A lot of drama with that one.
You know, kid: your body isn't the problem - it's your heart. [inside SpongeBob's body, his heart starts to groan sadly] You deserve what you've gotten. Come on, we're out of here. [the angry crowd leaves, listening to what Sandals says] Some people are just born mean. [SpongeBob frowns in shame]
SpongeBob
Sandy, you're naked. And you don't have any clothes on!
Unhand my pelt, you unknown varmint!
[pops out of the Sandy robot's mouth] Only from my cold, dead feelers!
[enraged] Plankton! I should have known this was your doing! Now, feel this! [punches the Sandy robot like a training dummy] Hi-ya! [The Sandy robot is undamaged so Sandy kicks it like a training dummy] Pwaaaaa! [The Sandy robot is punched and knocked into the wall and slumps over. Sandy rolls up her pelt and Plankton and the formula flies out. Mr. Krabs catches the formula, Sandy catches Plankton] Gotcha! And now for the appropriate punishment for a no-good, yella' belly like yourself. [puts Plankton in a jar of mustard]
My eye! This condiment is highly irritating to my eye!
[Plankton unplugs SpongeBob's ear drum]
Let me see what I can tune in here. Hmm.
The secret of the Krabby Patty formula is-
Spongebob
Huh?
SpongeBob
Could you speak a little louder, please?
The secret to the Krabby Patty formula-
SpongeBob
What?
[shouting into a megaphone] THE SECRET TO THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS...! [The shouting causes Plankton's ears to pop]
[opens his front door from his house and breathes in and out happily] Another beautiful Sunday in Bikini Bottom. Nothing can ruin my good mood today! [closes the door and starts walking happily]
SpongeBob
[looks out of his window, rushes downstairs, and opens his own front door] Good morning, Squidward!
[walks by] Ignoring, ignoring! La la dum. La la dee. La la doo. [cha chas down the street until he steps on a gum] Wah! [hits the head on the ground] Chewing gum!? That's disgusting! [pulls his foot away but the gum stays on his foot] Oh, come on! [tries pulling it off with his hand but it gets stuck, then tries both of his hands but they get stuck, then he pulls harder but his head gets stuck. Then uses head and hands but gets even more stuck. He struggles but he gets completely covered in gum. He then screams angrily, blowing a bubble that bursts the gum and Squidward gets covered in gum. Tries to get it off again and it turns into a bow-tie and he gets it off] People who litter really bug me! [throws it away. Laughs] Litterbugs. [laughing] Litterbugs! [continues laughing]
[SpongeBob sees little puffy fish being sold by a peddler, and becomes enticed by them and decides to get one of them for Gary]
SpongeBob
I'll take that one right there!
SOStore Owner
You wish to have one of my rare and extremely dangerous... huh?
SpongeBob
Oh yeah this is the one. [picks one of them]
SOStore Owner
Beware, boy, this is no ordinary pet!
SpongeBob
Oh, Gary's gonna be so happy!
SOStore Owner
You must understand. These pets can be very unstable. especially around other pets!
[She proves this by showing a picture of a cat next to another puffy fish, who snarls at it.]
SpongeBob
[obliviously] Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, bye. [he runs off]
SOStore Owner
Why bother? They never listen.
Hey! [flips over box] Where's the toy?
SpongeBob
Oh, it doesn't come with a toy.
What!? That's a rip off! I want my money back!
[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs taking a money bath]
[wakes up] Money back?! [walks out of office with towel wrapped around him] What's the problem here?
My Kiddy meal didn't come with a toy!
Hmm. And you'd like to upgrade to the toy package is that right?
SpongeBob
Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't have any toys.
Oh, really? [takes Krabby Patty away from customer] Then what do you call?... [fixes Krabby Patty] this? [The Krabby Patty now has eyes, legs, a mouth, and arms made from kitchen ingredients; Patrick and SpongeBob gasp]
SpongeBob
An officially licensed Krusty Krab toy? [smiles]
Uh, I'm not home right now! Please leave a message! Beeeep...
SpongeBob
Patrick, it's me! SpongeBob! It's my turn to play with the toy!
I can't go out! I just washed my hair!
SpongeBob
You don't have any h-come out, Patrick! It's MY turn!
SpongeBob
I have my milkshake dispenser operator license.
[looks at it] Looks fake to me pal! Bye-Bye now!
SpongeBob
Well, I guess I had best be going! [Pretends to walk away] I'm walking away...Here I go... [quietly] I'm gone now. [hides on Patrick's antenna]
SpongeBob
Pretty sure.[Patrick comes out, he jumps at him] Hi, Patrick! Time to SHARE!
DECEIVER! You didn't leave at all!
SpongeBob
Oh, and you were washing your hair!?!
I was too, see? [shows his armpit hair]
SpongeBob
[Surprised] Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!
Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary!
Meow. [turns and slithers back into SpongeBob's house]
SpongeBob
Hand it over, Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today!
You can't take it, It's not fair!
SpongeBob
How about I take it for half a day?
SpongeBob
How about we trade off every hour?
SpongeBob
Every half hour?
SpongeBob
Every fifteen minutes?
SpongeBob
Five minutes?
SpongeBob
One minute?
SpongeBob
Okay then, for our final offer we trade off every second!
[They pass Patty Pal back and fourth every second]
SpongeBob
One.
[Pause, Patrick runs off while SpongeBob tears himself angrily]
AVAST THERE, LADDIES! What's all this ruckerus about now?!
SpongeBob
It's our Krabby Patty toy, Mr. Krabs! And Patrick ate it, so that I couldn't play with it!
SpongeBob won't let me play with it!
SpongeBob
Only because you hogged it all night!
SpongeBob
Did too!
SpongeBob
Oh, you toy eater!
Whoa, whoa, whoa there, now! Settle down! All this brawlin' is over a toy?! You two shouldn't let a little trinket get between youse! You should be ashamed of yourselves. If I gave each of ya another toy, would that make you happy?!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
...Yes.
Well, you're in luck! You two seem so thrilled with the toy, I had an entire case of 'em made!
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
