[at the South Park Hair Salon]
TTheresa
Don't you fuckin' tell me what to do! I'm a client here!
CCaroline
Theresa! Calm. Down.
JJulia
I don't have to take your shit! I'm from Jersey!
CCaroline
Get her, Sharon!!
JJacqueline
Sharon, just stay out of it!
CCaroline
Be, the bigger person, Sharon!
CCaroline
Who's crazy? Are you talking about my family?! (grabs Sharon by the hair and pulls her a few steps; Sharon begins to scream) Is my family crazy?!
TTheresa
Don't you pull my friend's hair, you bitch! (pulls Sharon back by the hair)
[barges in, savagely] Let go of her, you piece of trash!
TTheresa
Who the fuck are you, to tell me, what to do?!
All you trashy whores get the fuck out of here and leave her alone!
(slaps Theresa's hand away) No! You're a psycho bitch, psycho bitch! Psycho bitch!! You wanna see fuckin' crazy?! You'd better just step the fuck away or you're gonna see fuckin' crazy!
JJacqueline
[to Sheila] You're, cabbage!
Is it just me, or are things around here getting worse and worse?
MMillie
It's definitely not just you. I think everyone's in shock that Heidi went back to Cartman.
TTheresa
What keeps driving her back to him? It's so weird.
IIsla
She's so… mean and angry these days.
People change. They say you become more and more like the person you're with, and I guess it's true with Heidi.
[joining them at the table] Hey, guys. What's up?
IIsla
[fearfully] Hey, Heidi.
What are you guys talkin' about?
Bullcrap, you're all talkin' about me again. 'Cause you're judgmental bitches. [belches] Ehh…
Heidi, are you okay? It's just… you look…
You know, y-you just look…
What? I look fat? Is that what you wanna say, Wendy? Fuck you, bitch!
TTheresa
She's just concerned, Heidi.
[mimicking Theresa] "Mehmehmehmehmehhh, Heidi." I'm just trying to enjoy my lunch here! Can I do it without you guys shitting on all over me?
[Wendy, Isla, Theresa, and Heidi are waiting at the bus stop]
[frustrated] This is bullcrap! How can they force me to be the Science Fair judge?! Now I know how it feels to be a slave!
It's…not exactly like being a slave, Heidi.
Yes, it is! Am I being paid to judge the Science Fair?! No! Do I have a choice?! No! Ooh, yes, massa! Let me judge that Science Fair for you, sir!
TTheresa
God, will you stop?!
Theresa, don't get all aggro on me because you're pissed off your family lives in a trailer.
TTheresa
My family doesn't live in a trailer. We live in a tiny home. My parents downsized to make a smaller footprint on the environment.
That's what I said. Your family lives in a trailer.
TTheresa
There's lots of progressive people living in tiny homes. There's five others on my block.
Right. That's called a trailer park.
TTheresa
[embarrassed] I don't live in a trailer park!
Just don't even respond to her. Just ignore her.
I'll try, but she's such a bitch.
IIsla
She wasn't talking to you, Heidi.
Oh, looks like Isla has something to say, you guys. Hold on, I'm sure this is going to be really profound. Go ahead, Isla, knock us out with you wit and satire. This should be good, you guys.
[walks up to Heidi] Hey, Heidi, what's up?
[uninterested] Oh, hey, babe, what's going on?
Nothing, just talking to my girlfriends about tiny homes.
[The students are all assembled in the gymnasium as Heidi gives out an announcement, with Cartman standing next to her]
[standing on the podium] Fellow students, I have asked to speak today because of the hypocrisy and bullying that is coming from the administration at this so-called school. It is an outrage that our principal and counselor demand our participation in privileged programs that are outrageously overfunded. Why is it that the school allows funding that only goes to special-needs students? Are the rest of us not special? If we are continually asked to work for no money and ask our parents to pay for our programs, then soon we will all be poor, and forced to live in a trailer park, like Theresa.
TTheresa
It's not a trailer!
Theresa, get over it. You live in a trailer park. It's not a big deal.
Uh, okay, honey. You're kind of getting off topic, sweetie.
I just… I just want you to stay on point so we can get this over with.
"GET THIS OVER WITH?!" You're supposed to be supporting me!
I am supporting you, sweetheart!
Being supportive doesn't mean you criticize me, asshole! Just forget it! My point is, if the school administration doesn't cancel the science fair, I will see to it that they are all fired for discrimination!
[to PC Principal] She's kind of like Cartman, but with the ability to follow through.
South Park · 1,569 quotes
