Is it just me, or are things around here getting worse and worse?
MMillie
It's definitely not just you. I think everyone's in shock that Heidi went back to Cartman.
What keeps driving her back to him? It's so weird.
IIsla
She's so… mean and angry these days.
People change. They say you become more and more like the person you're with, and I guess it's true with Heidi.
[joining them at the table] Hey, guys. What's up?
IIsla
[fearfully] Hey, Heidi.
What are you guys talkin' about?
Bullcrap, you're all talkin' about me again. 'Cause you're judgmental bitches. [belches] Ehh…
Heidi, are you okay? It's just… you look…
You know, y-you just look…
What? I look fat? Is that what you wanna say, Wendy? Fuck you, bitch!
She's just concerned, Heidi.
[mimicking Theresa] "Mehmehmehmehmehhh, Heidi." I'm just trying to enjoy my lunch here! Can I do it without you guys shitting on all over me?
[enters Mr. Mackey's office] You wanted to see me, Mr. Mackey?
Oh, yes, Heidi. Uh, we just wanted to see if you have transportation to the Special Ed Science Fair this weekend, or if you wanted us to set something up for you.
…Uh, Saturday is the science fair, and, you're the judge for the competition?
Judge a special needs science fair? Ahem, no thanks.
Well, Heidi, is there a problem with you being the judge this weekend?
Uhh, yeah? It's Saturday, and I don't wanna be at school?
But, you're always the judge of the Special Ed Science Fair because you're our best science student.
So, now I'm gonna be punished by being force to judge a bunch of handicapped kids?!
But… Okay, you see, the problem is that you volunteered last month, Heidi. You said you wanted to do it, m'kay?
Well, how can you expect students to commit to things a month in advance?! I don't even know what I want for dinner tonight.
Look, the kids have worked really hard and have done some amazing projects.
You're gonna force me to come to school on a Saturday?!
Heidi, eh… is everything all right?
Oh, what? Are you gonna call me fat now too?! It just so happens I'm a vegan, which means it'd difficult for me to get enough protein, so my body doesn't burn fat, it burns muscle, which makes it look like I'm fat, but I'm actually WAY healthier than any of YOU!
Heidi, you're judging the Special Ed Science Fair this weekend.
[Wendy, Isla, Theresa, and Heidi are waiting at the bus stop]
[frustrated] This is bullcrap! How can they force me to be the Science Fair judge?! Now I know how it feels to be a slave!
It's…not exactly like being a slave, Heidi.
Yes, it is! Am I being paid to judge the Science Fair?! No! Do I have a choice?! No! Ooh, yes, massa! Let me judge that Science Fair for you, sir!
Theresa, don't get all aggro on me because you're pissed off your family lives in a trailer.
My family doesn't live in a trailer. We live in a tiny home. My parents downsized to make a smaller footprint on the environment.
That's what I said. Your family lives in a trailer.
There's lots of progressive people living in tiny homes. There's five others on my block.
Right. That's called a trailer park.
[embarrassed] I don't live in a trailer park!
Just don't even respond to her. Just ignore her.
I'll try, but she's such a bitch.
IIsla
She wasn't talking to you, Heidi.
Oh, looks like Isla has something to say, you guys. Hold on, I'm sure this is going to be really profound. Go ahead, Isla, knock us out with you wit and satire. This should be good, you guys.
[walks up to Heidi] Hey, Heidi, what's up?
[uninterested] Oh, hey, babe, what's going on?
Nothing, just talking to my girlfriends about tiny homes.
[turns around, startled] Oh! Hey!
How would you like to be the judge for the Special Ed Science Fair this weekend?
Uh, I can't. I'm going to a birthday party.
Butters, don't be a dick!
Yeah, don't make up excuses because judging handicapped students sounds terrible.
He's not making it up. It's my birthday party.
Well, then could you invite Heidi, please? She needs an excuse not to have to go to the special needs science fair.
What's wrong with supporting them? They're our friends.
Because nobody wants to be trapped in a gym with Special Ed science.
Actually, some other projects are pretty cool.
CHCartman & Heidi
Shut up, Kyle! Samesies! [both kiss]
Look, it's all just a complete waste of time. It's not like a Special Ed Science Fair is actually gonna contribute to society.
[pacing around Cartman, upset] What the hell is going on?! Everywhere I turn, people are being given handouts while I'm forced to work my ass off! It's total bullshit!
Yeah… uh… Babe, uh I understand that you're pissed off, but, um, you know, it is recess. Maybe we should relax and have some fun?
[stops pacing] Relax?! How can I relax?! I get straight A's! I ace every test! And who gets all the support?! The Special Ed Department!
[The students are all assembled in the gymnasium as Heidi gives out an announcement, with Cartman standing next to her]
[standing on the podium] Fellow students, I have asked to speak today because of the hypocrisy and bullying that is coming from the administration at this so-called school. It is an outrage that our principal and counselor demand our participation in privileged programs that are outrageously overfunded. Why is it that the school allows funding that only goes to special-needs students? Are the rest of us not special? If we are continually asked to work for no money and ask our parents to pay for our programs, then soon we will all be poor, and forced to live in a trailer park, like Theresa.
Theresa, get over it. You live in a trailer park. It's not a big deal.
Uh, okay, honey. You're kind of getting off topic, sweetie.
I just… I just want you to stay on point so we can get this over with.
"GET THIS OVER WITH?!" You're supposed to be supporting me!
I am supporting you, sweetheart!
Being supportive doesn't mean you criticize me, asshole! Just forget it! My point is, if the school administration doesn't cancel the science fair, I will see to it that they are all fired for discrimination!
[to PC Principal] She's kind of like Cartman, but with the ability to follow through.
[The NFL Owners, Special Ed Kids, PC Principal, Mr. Mackey, and Cartman all chase after Heidi and corner her in the school foyer while she's carrying the water bears]
JJerry
Little girl, stop! It doesn't have to end this way.
[coming through] Move aside! Move aside! [panting to catch his breath] Heidi, seriously, you need to listen to me!
[also panting to catch her breath] I don't… have to listen… to anybody!
Yes, yes you do! You need to listen!
JJerry
Little girl, please! What you have in your hand is very special.
Well, I'm sick of everyone treating me like shit!
JJerry
Think about the NFL. How much joy it brings to everyone!
Don't listen to them. Give the water bears to me. I deserve all the fame and bitches.
Heidi, you've gotta stop being so angry.
JJerry
Look, if you- if you don't do it for the NFL, what about humanity? Those creatures are showing the first signs of sentience. Think about what they could mean for science. For medicine. Making people better.
Come on, babe. We all want the old Heidi back.
[looks up at the balcony, noticing Wendy, Theresa, and Isla looking down upon her, looks down at the water bears, then looks up again] Screw all you guys! [chugs down the whole fish bowl, killing the water bears]
NONFL Owners & Special Ed Kids
[shocked with horror] NO!!!!
