Mickey Mouse quotes from South Park

Someone somewhere is loving me tonight. Looking at the same moon and seeing it so bright.

Someone somewhere is feeling my despair

Feeling my despair

And this same moon is

making them think of that-.

There it is!

Look, we just want our concerts to be about our music and not about purity rings.

Oh gosh, fellas, let me explain this to ya one more time. You have to wear the purity rings, 'cause that's how we can sell sex to little girls, ha-ha. See, if we make the posters with little girls reaching for your junk, then you have to wear purity rings or else Disney Company looks baaad, ha-ha.

But we don't wanna be selling sex to little girls any more!

The rings stay on!

Well, well, maybe we'll just refuse to go on stage!

You don't... fucking... talk to me... like that, ha-ha! You little... piece of... shit, ha-ha! [Joe lies on the ground, coughing up blood] Get the fuck up. Get the fuck up! Ha-ha. [Nick and Kevin help Joe to his feet] Now, do we have a problem? Ha-ha.

No, sir.

No, Mr. Mouse.

[whimpering] No, Mr. Mouse.

Oh, that's good, 'cause I thought we had a problem for a minute there, ha-ha! [heads for the door] Alright now, get out there and make me some goddamn money! Ha-ha. [slams the door behind him, causing a picture of the Jonas Brothers to fall and shatter]

You three faggots are going on stage, and [points at Stan, Kyle and Cartman] YOU three faggots aren't gonna stop me! Nobody is ruining this event!! Ha-ha. I've worked too long and too hard to have anybody fuck this up! [Kyle turns up the microphone, causing the audience to hear Mickey's voice; they stop cheering] Where would you be without me, Jonas Brothers? Ha-ha. Your music sucks and you know it! Ha-ha. It's because you make little girl's gineys tickle! And when little girl's gineys tickle, I make money! Ha-ha. And that's because little girls are fucking stupid! Ha-ha. And the purity rings make it okay to do whatever I want! Ha-ha. Even the Christians are too fucking stupid to figure out I'm selling sex to their daughters! I've made billions off of Christian ignorance for decades now, ha-ha! And do you know why? [Cartman presses the curtain control button, raising the curtain] BECAUSE CHRISTIANS ARE RETARDED! Ha-ha. They believe in a talking dead guy! Ha-ha. [realizes the curtain is up; turns and faces the audience, embarrassed] Ohhh. Ha-ha. Hello, folks.

BOOOOO!!!

Now, now, take it easy, ha-ha. Here's the Jonas Brothers.

Come on, guys. [they turn and walk offstage]

No! Stop! Bring them back here!

It's over, Mr. Mouse. Everyone's tuning out.

NO!!! NO, GODDAMNIT!!! NO!!! [all the while, the audience continue to boo] SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!

That's it, girls; no more Disney TV for a while.

Tom, the Disney Jonas Brothers 3D television special has failed, costing the Disney company millions, and once again Mickey is pissed off and throwing a fit.

[hovering over the rampage-destroyed street as large as a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade balloon] VENGEANCE IS MINE! YOU ARE ALL ANTS AND I AM YOUR DESTROYER! Ha-ha. [blows fire, killing every person in his path]

The Disney purity ring venture will most likely now prove a marketing bust, as Mickey returns to Valhalla to slumber and feed.

Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom, which is Tom Cruise's house.

(on the phone) How do you like that?! Celebrities can get violent too!

[on the community center roof with other townsfolk] Mr. Cruise, please call Barbra Streisand off! [everyone cringes as Mecha-Streisand walks around] She's destroying everything!

We will call her off when you give us Muhammad!

We don't have Muhammad. We we aren't sure where he is.

That's your problem! Get him back or Barbs will kill you all!

Oh boy!

All right?! Who's the asshole?! Which one of you decided to go and start badmouthing the Chinese government?! Huh-uh. Who here thought they had permission to say anything critical of Chinese politics?!

Well it is true, sir. The Chinese seem to exploit their own people in forced labor cam-

SHUT THE FUCK UP, THOR! You're here to flex and not speak, you fucking bitch!

Please. Mr. Marsh was only standing up for me and Piglet, because we were political prisoners.

YOU are a fat diabetic bear, and if the Chinese don't want you, then I don't either! Now who the fuck is Mr. Marsh?!

Uhhh that's me. Randy Marsh.

Who is this? I don't know you. Are you from Pixar?

No, I'm from South Park.

What's South Park? Do I own that?

No, not yet sir.

You're telling me that I'm losing Chinese customers because of some shithead that's not even from MY company?!

Hey, hold on a minute! Do you really think this business should be run through intimidation and fear?! Whatever happened to old-time values?! You already have business with the Chinese. You have all the connections money can buy! But there's one thing you don't have. That's Tegridy.