Joe Jonas quotes from South Park

Joe, do you know anything about women?

Sure! They're those things with vaginas in 'em!

Look, we just want our concerts to be about our music and not about purity rings.

Oh gosh, fellas, let me explain this to ya one more time. You have to wear the purity rings, 'cause that's how we can sell sex to little girls, ha-ha. See, if we make the posters with little girls reaching for your junk, then you have to wear purity rings or else Disney Company looks baaad, ha-ha.

But we don't wanna be selling sex to little girls any more!

The rings stay on!

Well, well, maybe we'll just refuse to go on stage!

You don't... fucking... talk to me... like that, ha-ha! You little... piece of... shit, ha-ha! [Joe lies on the ground, coughing up blood] Get the fuck up. Get the fuck up! Ha-ha. [Nick and Kevin help Joe to his feet] Now, do we have a problem? Ha-ha.

No, sir.

No, Mr. Mouse.

[whimpering] No, Mr. Mouse.

Oh, that's good, 'cause I thought we had a problem for a minute there, ha-ha! [heads for the door] Alright now, get out there and make me some goddamn money! Ha-ha. [slams the door behind him, causing a picture of the Jonas Brothers to fall and shatter]

You three faggots are going on stage, and [points at Stan, Kyle and Cartman] YOU three faggots aren't gonna stop me! Nobody is ruining this event!! Ha-ha. I've worked too long and too hard to have anybody fuck this up! [Kyle turns up the microphone, causing the audience to hear Mickey's voice; they stop cheering] Where would you be without me, Jonas Brothers? Ha-ha. Your music sucks and you know it! Ha-ha. It's because you make little girl's gineys tickle! And when little girl's gineys tickle, I make money! Ha-ha. And that's because little girls are fucking stupid! Ha-ha. And the purity rings make it okay to do whatever I want! Ha-ha. Even the Christians are too fucking stupid to figure out I'm selling sex to their daughters! I've made billions off of Christian ignorance for decades now, ha-ha! And do you know why? [Cartman presses the curtain control button, raising the curtain] BECAUSE CHRISTIANS ARE RETARDED! Ha-ha. They believe in a talking dead guy! Ha-ha. [realizes the curtain is up; turns and faces the audience, embarrassed] Ohhh. Ha-ha. Hello, folks.

BOOOOO!!!

Now, now, take it easy, ha-ha. Here's the Jonas Brothers.

Come on, guys. [they turn and walk offstage]

No! Stop! Bring them back here!

It's over, Mr. Mouse. Everyone's tuning out.

NO!!! NO, GODDAMNIT!!! NO!!! [all the while, the audience continue to boo] SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!

That's it, girls; no more Disney TV for a while.