STScott Tenorman
Revenge is a dish best served...chili!
“201” · Season 14, Episode 6
In this episode: Tom Cruise (3), Stan Marsh (2), Kyle Broflovski (2), Randy Marsh (1), Mayor McDaniels (1), Jesus (1), Mickey Mouse (1), Santa (1)
AAnnouncer
Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom, which is Tom Cruise's house.
(on the phone) How do you like that?! Celebrities can get violent too!
[on the community center roof with other townsfolk] Mr. Cruise, please call Barbra Streisand off! [everyone cringes as Mecha-Streisand walks around] She's destroying everything!
We will call her off when you give us Muhammad!
We don't have Muhammad. We we aren't sure where he is.
That's your problem! Get him back or Barbs will kill you all!
Oh boy!
SMSea-Man
I'll get you, Tom Cruise! [hops on him and wrestles him]
Hey look! Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back.
[everyone stops and gasps. The "CENSORED" bar disappears and Tom is shown again]
What did you say?!
Oh yeah. Tom Cruise does have Seaman on his back.
I guess maybe Tom Cruise likes Seaman.
[everyone chuckles.]
[straightens up] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [Sea-Man gets off his back] You're not supposed to be able to make fun of me anymore! What the hell's going on?!
STScott Tenorman
[on the rafters with a jet pack on his back] I'll be back, Super Best Friends! [tales off through an open door on the roof.]
Who's the creepy ginger kid?
Reiner, you said the goo machine would work! But I got made fun of!
That's because there is no goo, Mr. Cruise. You see, I learned something today. Throughout this whole ordeal, we've all wanted to show things that we weren't allowed to show, but it wasn't because of some magic goo. It was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power. If there's anything we've all learned, it's that terrorizing people works.
That's right. Don't you see, gingers, if you don't want to be made fun of anymore, all you need are guns and bombs to get people to stop.
That's right, friends. All you need to do is instill fear and be willing to hurt people and you can get whatever you want. The only true power is violence.
[Reconstruction on the town begins]
Alright, people, let's start rebuilding our town! For the 39th time.
[Tom Cruise sitting by himself on a trash can feeling sad]
Look, Mr. Cruise, I'm sorry I said you were a fudge packer and that semen on your back.
I just... can't do it anymore. I wanna go away! But there's nowhere on Earth that people aren't around to rip on me.
Hey... Hey, we know a place! We know a place where everything is just happiness and joy. And no humans are there to mess it up.
We do? Oh Oh yeah, we do!
You... really? Somewhere where I can just, live out my days in peace and quiet and- Oh. [stands up] Oh please, can you show me where?
We'll do better than that. We'll help you get there.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.