[Stan and Kyle are banging on Cartman's window]
[in his sleep] No, Uncle Jesse, no!
What the hell are you guys doing?
We're going to go save the baby cows, fatass.
'Cause they're going to get slaughtered tomorrow, butthole.
We can't let them die, douche-bag. You're our friend.
Well, let's see. In the last 3.2 seconds you've called me fatass, butthole and douchebag. I don't feel like you guys are friends.
But, Stan, you said we're just using him so you can get his Mission Impossible Breaking and Entering play set!
Damn it, Butters! Will you shut up?!
Aha, aha! You do need me and my Mission Impossible play set!
Okay, I'll go, if Kyle will kiss my black ass. [lowers pants to show his butt]
Just give it a little kiss and I'll help.
Okay, but if you want my help you have to give it just a little kiss. [softly] Kiss it.
Go on, dude it's the only way.
Kiss it. Come on. [gruffly] Kiss it.
Just do it really fast, and we can go.
No, it has to be Kyle. [turns away. Kyle resists for a few moments, then slowly moves his face towards Cartman's ass through the window. Kyle finally reaches the ass and Cartman farts in his face]
Awww! [wipes off his face and then waves away the smell]
[laughs uproariously] Oh, man, that was Soho awesome!
Sick! I felt it on my face!
Okay, very funny, Cartman, now come on!
Well, I'm not going with you!
[Kyle screams and jumps on Cartman]
[When Stan locks himself in his room with Kyle, Cartman, and Kyle, and the calves after he refused to give Rancher Bob his calves...]
[pounds on the door, trying to open it] Stanley! Stanley, you open this door right now or you're gonna get it!
Stan, you're behaving like a kid!
You're the ones who made me eat veal without telling me what it was! You're the ones who knew we were making little baby animals suffer!
Oh Jeez, he said "ass" to his parents.
You're getting in pretty deep, dude.
[Cartman is talking to an FBI negotiator.]
We'll give you one calf, if you give us...some guns and ammunition of our own!
GDGlen Dumont
What?! I--I can't do that!
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were talking here, but I guess you're not talking to me. Good-bye.
GDGlen Dumont
No, no wait, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Uh, you're right. What reason do you have to trust me? I'm just a guy from Lakewood trying to make ends meet, you know? Just a blue-collar guy like your dad.
Don't have a dad, Mike. That's not going to work.
[The phone rings; Cartman picks up]
We got a sick kid here, Mike. Did you get the other things?
Well, I did manage to get the FDA to officially change "veal" to "tortured baby cow," but I couldn't get North or South Dakota.
Oh, Mike, you're breaking my balls!
He's very lucky you got him here when you did. He was in a very advanced state of vaginitis.
It occurs when a person stops eating meat. Those sores on his skin were actually small vaginas. If we hadn't stopped it in time, Stan would have eventually just become one great big giant pussy.
We've got an IV of pure beef blood pumping into Stan's veins and the... sores are fading.
Thank God we stopped it in time.
Well, I guess we learned something today: it's wrong to eat veal because the animals are so horribly mistreated, but if you don't eat meat at all you break out in vaginas.
All right boys, it's time to go home. You've got some serious grounding time to start.
Aw, we're still grounded?
But, but we, we learned things, and took up a cause.
Yes Kyle, but you still defied your parents. And you need to learn that terrorism is never the answer.
That's right, let's get these terrorists to their rooms. [Sternly] But first, [softens] maybe we can grab some burgers.
