A character in Red vs Blue
Caboose
Red vs Blue · 504 quotes
Tied for 4th most-quoted character in Red vs Blue: in 150 of its 504 quotes
Most scenes with: Leonard Church (82), Tucker (66), Sarge (23)
There it is!
Jesus RUN!! (All three of them keep shooting their guns at the wall while they run away)
Crap!
Oh my GOD OH MY GOD! I'M GOING TO DIE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!
RUN!
Women and children last. (They run past Caboose)
Did we win?
Yeah Caboose we won! This is our victory lap!
(jokingly) Hey come back, I think you're making him tired! (laughing)
[The Blues discuss sending in Caboose to talk with the Alien]
Well, think about it. While our Ambassador here is either being a) eaten by the alien, or b) digested by the alien, you and I can sneak back in and get our bodies.
I would make an excellent Ambidasdor, (looks at Tucker) because I am very shy!
Get away from me freak!
You know, if that word's too hard to pronounce, you can just call yourself bait.
[Caboose suggests a name for the Alien]
I think I will call him... Crunchbite!
Naah, that's a stupid name.
Well I think it's better than your suggestion...Crouchasaurous.
Caboose who are you talking to— HOLY SHIT!!!
BLARG!
Stop he is my friend, he's not going to it eat anybody.
Yeah says you stink too much to eat.
He has not tried to bite me, at all-
Blargh.
...since he bit me the first time.
Yeah, that was hilarious!
I think he might be saying things telepathically. I just heard something in my head.
What? What was it?
It was a voice saying "Blargh blargh blargh blargh!"
[The Blues are talking about finding a translator]:
Ooo-kay. Church... is trying to get a TRANSLATOR. So that WE can TALK to EACH OTHER.
: Tucker, the enormous alien doesn't speak our language. Speaking slowly is not gonna help.
What? I'm talking to Caboose.
Oh.
[camera pans to reveal Caboose] I don't understand. Are-are-are you hungry? Tucker, are you hungry? Are you cold?
What? No.
Do you need a blanket? Tucker, do you want some hot dogs in a blanket?
Damn it, no, Caboose! I'm NOT cold, I don't want a hot dog, and if you put mustard in my fucking sheets again, I'm gonna kill you!
[Caboose decides on another name for the Alien]
Okay gargantuan alien, now that we have decided to keep you, you need a real name. I vote for Fluffy.
Fluffy?
Fluffy! The alien that only loves!
[The Blues are trying to find out the Alien's name]
He's got to have a name! Why don't we just ask him? Hey Alien dude, what's your name? Naaame. I am Tucker. This is Church. That's Bitch-pants McCrabby.
Hey!
Well, that's what we call you.
Not me. I call you Mrs.McCrabby
Thanks.
[Andy is acting as a translator for the alien]
What is he [the alien] saying?
Listen guys, if want me to translate, you can't keep asking me every four seconds, "what's he sayin' now, Andy?" "what's he sayin' now?" I'm gonna tell you what he's sayin', that's my freakin' job!
That's what he said? That's a pretty weird thing to say. Ok, tell him, sorry, I will stop saying...that. And...also...no.
I think we need a translator just for Caboose.
[Translating for the Alien] After we cross the Burning Plains of Honka Hill, we're gonna reach the Freezing Plains of Blarganthia.
The Burning Plains are next to the Freezing Plains? I bet there's some pretty wet plains in between.
[The Blues are about to embark on their quest]
I hope we meet a cleric on the way. We don't have anyone who can heal.
He says he's a healer.
Oh, good.
Not really. They eat their wounded. (starts laughing)
(speaks slowly) Just like chiropractors!
Ok, so, um, Tucker is the fighter, Crunchbite is the healer and I am the powerful.....and intelligent wizard, Morphumax.
What the hell does that make me?
Caboose': You're the good-looking and stealthy archer.
A bow and arrow? I don't have any arms, you frickin' moron!
That is what makes you so stealthy. [turns away from Andy] This is going to be the best party ever.
I'm gonna fuckin' die.
[The Blues reach the Freezing Plains]
I'm tellin' you, the alien has really been creepin' me out lately. Every time I wake up, he's hovering over me. It's really weird.
I'm sure he's just safeguarding his sword. I mean, my sword.
Maybe he just wants to steal your breath.
Well, is Tex okay?
She's fine. None of us are that lucky. She chased after Wyoming.
Tex?
Yeah.
Wyoming?
Yes.
Massachusetts!
Seriously, stop it.
No, we came home because the alien died, and because the, uh, glowing sword turned out to be a, uh, glowing key.
Yeah, glowing key that can still stab people.
Right.
So it is a sword, It just happens to function like a key in very specific situations.
Or it's a key all the time, and when you stick it in people, it unlocks their death.
God damn man, I would love to live in your world for about ten minutes.
Yeah. I have a really good time.
Ehehehyeah, it seems like it. You know I don't think I'd get anything done, but I probably wouldn't care that much.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Red vs Blue pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
