Never Mind the Buzzcocks · Season 20
[About a Billy Idol video]
There's a fantastic shot of a toaster that seems, uh...it's actually, it's the very rare, the genie of the toaster. It's uh, rub it three times: "I am the genie of the toaster! You have three wishes...providing they are of a...toast...based...nature..."...
Can I just ask...They get a serious question about politics, we get "Who pissed themselves?". "Who wee'd?", "Who weed, Bill. You simpleton from the woods. With your simple friends that you collected in a glade out in the woods"...They get, "Oh, who lobbied the government blah blah", a serious question for the proper people who've done charity and are all proper, but the monkey boys over here get "Who weed!". You snotty nosed, public school boy...
All right, what do you think we should do about nuclear waste?
I dunno, I don't care.
When I was younger, we didn't have to have drugs..
You had Ferrero Rocher didn't you?
[About Simon]
[In a posh voice] Hey lads, take your snuff, let's stay up till nine. You should ride to the studio on a swan next week.
I bloody would if the asylum seekers hadn't eaten them all.
Bob Geldof, I understand, has lobbied the government about nuclear waste, Midge.
Has he? Sir Bob Geldof?
Sir Bib Geldof, yes. What do you think we should do about the environment, Midge?
Give me a bloody knighthood and I'll tell you!
I don't think it works that way round, Midge! The Magic Numbers [Points to Romeo] were not on Live 8, Band 20... What was it called?
Oh, the record?
Why was this?
I've got no idea!
You were there! Didn't you produce the song?
No I was the executive producer which meant that I let someone else do all the work and I took all the credit!
Didn't Bob take all the credit?
Bob is...Bob is like a death eater from Harry Potter. "It's mine!"
That's what tonight is all about...having a wonderful time.
Yeah, let's not be negative.
I like everything...Do...D'you know everything? Well, I like it...You know all books? I like them all!
[About Bill and Romeo]
That was lovely. That was like two really jolly farmers singing at me ... Like you've just grown some excellent marrows and you're like, [He puts on a Cornish accent] "Let's turn up 'round Howard's house and sing him a little ditty...". [He pretends to open a door] You all right, lads?
Hello there!
[Holding pretend vegetables] Look at the size of them buggers!
[Following Preston storming off last episode]
[Talking about Sade]
In 1995, Sade performed at Live Aid, and said that afterward, she didn't get to meet any of the stars...she just sat in the green room with Midge Ure.
[Midge looks pissed off]
Stay where you are, Midge!
Wanker.
Yeah...good point.
[Trying to help Nick guess a band]
It's a youthful combo.
Youthful Combo..?
From Liverpool.
[Nick looks blank]
With a saxophone.
[Silence]
Called The Zutons.
How old are you, Nick?
Seventeen.
Seventeen, wow. You're really ruining my "I'm the young guy" thing here. Normally I get away with being the young person, being under thirty-five and able to name the Sugababes. Tonight I feel that Phill has seen what a real young person is and is going to stop loving me...I feel like Rudy from the Cosby show when she got old and grew a mustache.
[Following Preston storming off last episode]
I do not want you to worry about this, Nicholas Hoult. This does not affect anything in your life. We are just having fun.
I just want to go home...
Don't you move!
[Reminiscing about being a child]
Doing that and writing "boobless" on your calculator...great days
Yeah, saving your scabs in a little matchbox...ah, posting them to your pen pal...
Ha! Pasting them to your pen pal..."Dear, dear Gunther...I thought you'd enjoy these!"
"Ici, mon scabs!"
[Putting on a drawling accent] "Dear Bill, thank you for your scabs...next time a pube or two...Yours, Renoir...mmmmmmmmmmmm."
"Chèr Renoir, I am terminating this correspondence...it's gone a bit weird."
[Talking about the line-ups costume]
Why's it like sunglasses, skiing, sunglasses, sunglasses, the MOON!
You see, this is the seat that Preston left, this is the seat that Lemmy left the show, admittedly at the re-takes... we should just call it the 'Ejector seat'
[Thoughtfully] We should maybe get some sort of seatbelt...
[Talking about Midge's daughter's band, after getting at Midge because Bob Geldof got all the credit]
The Faders were a female Busted. Very good, I interviewed them, I enjoyed them very much. Didn't do too well, shame.
There's something about you and interviewing.
Meanwhile, Peaches Geldof...pretty big news...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
