[After refusing to sing his song "Flip reverse it"] I can't sing... I rap.
You rap?
Uh, no...
S1818x02
When did you meet Meatloaf?
We were doing Party in the Park in 2002 with the Squad and he, um...walked past us.
Wow. I would have saved that story for Parky, personally.
We also heard 'Straight Up' by Paula Abdul. During the last series of American Idol, there were...there were...
"Scurrilous".
"Scurrilous", thank you very much.
Just trying to help.
Ooh, I can read!
One of 'em had to.
This has been Never Mind the Buzzcocks, I've been Simon Amstell. And before I go back to youth television..."Bollocks"!
S1818x03
Guest Host Ricky Wilson
With regulars Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Colin Murray, Bez, Ryan Jarman, and Jeff Green
And tonight I am contractually obliged to say "I predict a laugh riot!"…I feel so dirty!
RJRyan Jarman
If there's any legal implications involved in this, then, like, I invented Live 8, you see. This is not actually a lie. We were in the recording studio recording our album. I found Bob Geldof's mobile phone number while we were in the recording studio so I sent him a text message just saying "Three words, mate - Live Aid 2". Lo and behold six months later Live 8 comes out. It's just nice to know that you've made a little bit of difference, that's all. It really is.
[to Ricky] Last time I saw you was at Heathrow Airport, wasn't it? And you were shitfaced. You came up to me and said "[slurring]" I'm Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs!
[drunkenly] I love you!
[drunkenly] Love you, Bill!
I thought you were Hulk Hogan.
Sorry Stevie [Wonder], if you're watching... (Ricky grimaces as he realises what he's just said)
S1818x06
Guest Host Huey Morgan
With regulars Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Reginald D Hunter, Sheila Ferguson Andy Rourke, and Natalie Cassidy
[During the Identity Parade, when all the guests were dressed in bird outfits]
BBill
BIRD FLU! [Everyone but Andy runs out of their seat and off the set. Andy covers his face with his arms]
[Later]
BBill
[On the subject of bird number 4] It doesn't look like any bird ... I don't understand ... it's a hybrid. It looks like some kind of -
NNatalie
It looks like Phill! Look at the belly of it! Go and stand next to it! [Phill stands next to the bird] Look!
BBill
[Into his microphone] If we are very quiet we can hear the mating calls - [Phill makes a noise while Bill continues] - of the Essex bird.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.