[as a missile is flying towards a rectangular target] Welcome to the Rainbow Gathering! Peace is possible in our lifeti-- [the missile then blows up the target] Oooh!
S6The Starfighters
[during yet another scene of planes refueling]
CCrow
You asked for more refueling, and we're giving it to you!
Yes! I'm at a loss, now we've done promiscuity entendres?
Check.
CCrow
Uh, cuddling in the afterglow?
Check.
Uh, multiple partner allusions?
Got it.
CCrow
Uh, premature ejeculation innuendo?
Yup.
Gas station jokes.
Been there.
CCrow
Impotence.
Oh yeah.
Uh, one-night stand stuff?
Servo; It's all covered.
[disappointed] Okay, let's just watch then.
Well, fueling is a beautiful natural thing that's nothing to mock.
Okay, you're right.
...
[singing to the score] Youuu and I, refueled by moonlight! Fuel, like sparkling champaaagne!
I don't know where you end and I begin!
[the fueling process ends]
CACrow [as the plane]
No man, no! You can't cut me off, just 4000 more pounds then I'll quit! I'm so cold...
Oh, a junkie joke.
S6The Sinister Urge
[Young Don's clothes are all in a pile on his bedroom floor.]
Uh-oh! That's no way to treat your clothes!
MAMike [as Don]
But that's how they treat me!
[Mildred's clothes are strewn all across her room.]
Oh Mildred, look at your clothes! Why, that's as bad as Don was!
Don Was? The producer?
[At the behest of the narrator, little Mildred puts away her clothes at high speed.]
SAServo [as Henry Higgins]
Why can't a woman be more like a man?
In the '50s, people responded well to authoritative disembodied voices.
CCrow
The fun never stops when you're clean and tidy!
[The narrator instructs Mildred on brushing her hair.]
Brush, and brush, and brush--at least 100 strokes.
MAMike [as Narrator]
Just keep brushing and brushing and saying the name of our Lord and Savior!
The Sinister Urge (movie)
[The film opens with a woman, wearing only a bra and slip, running frantically down a road.]
She must be one of Senator Packwood's aides.
CCrow
[to Gypsy] We're giving you a shower!
[surprised] Huh!?
Oh look, she's surprised, isn't that just darling?
[flustered] Well, I'm not getting married and... am I pregnant!?
CCrow
Oh Gypsy, every woman gets a shower and it's just so lovely!
Well, I'm pretty sure I'm a woman.
CCrow
Open that one first, Mike, it's from me! Doesn't she look lovely?
It's... pinking shears!
Oh! Thank you, how very thoughtful, and lovely!
Oh, those are just darling, Crow! OK, this is from me...
And it is... pinking shears!
Oh! Oh!
CCrow
Just like mine! How darling and lovely!
Well yeah, Gypsy! I saw that Crow got you the same thing, and that gave me the idea! [everyone laughs]
OK, this one is from Cambot, and it is pinking shears!
Oh! Better get pinking! [Gypsy laughs]
OK though, Tom and Crow went on one more...
Oh let me guess, let me guess... Pinking shears?
Nope...
Oh... .
Oh I guess it is! Pinking shears! [Gypsy laughs]
CCrow
Well Tom saw them and I had to agree!
How lovely and darling!
It's from Frank! Listen to this: [reads letter] "Dear Gypsy, how are you? I'm fine. I'm going to bomb the living bejesus out of Deep 13. Well, it looks like I'm out of room. Best wishes, Frank." [realizes the threat] OH MY GOD! MIKE! TOM! CROW! WE GOT TO STOP HIM! [goes back to the letter] "P.S. Hope you like the pinking shears."
TSTV's Frank
I must say, doctor, you are a real piece of work.
[tied up and strapped with explosives] Frank, it you don't cut it out, I'm gonna kill you!
TSTV's Frank
No, Dr. Forrester... it is you who are going to kill me. [evil laugh] YOU'RESTUCKHERE.
CCrow
Well, if Frank goes through with his plan, that means no more mad scientists!
Which means no more evil experiments!
Which means no more Deep 13!
CCrow
Which means no way can we ever, ever get down to Earth!
Which eventually means no more Satellite of Love!
Which means no more... [they finally realize what would happen and faint from shock]
CCrow
...We've got to help Dr. Forrester save Deep 13!
We just got to find a way to stop Frank, but how?
CCrow
Yeah, that's the sixty-four dollar question... wait! I've got an idea! A door-to-door search! Gypsy, can you give me a schematic of the whole city?
You want the suburbs too?
CCrow
All the way to the sticks! I want to see barns and cows and roosters!
There goes my vacation!
CCrow
Thanks, doll-face! [tries to kiss Gypsy]
Get out of here, you lug!
All right, all right, all right! Hold everything! Ha ha! Got the report back from the lab, and guess whose fingerprints are all over the ransom notes?
Uh, probably Frank's. He signed it.
Oh, that's right I guess...
This is a dead end, a blank wall, an empty check!
It's no piece of cake, that's for sure!
Wait!, Hold it Gypsy, say that again...
I said, "It is no piece of cake!"
Potato cakes! That's it!
CCrow
Potato cakes?
Remind me to buy you a new hat next payday sweetheart! [hugs and kisses Gypsy]
Wow...!
It just doesn't make any sense, Mike!
Oh boy, I wonder if Forrester's planning on killing Frank!
S6San Francisco International
[Mike and the bots enter the theater. The logo for Universal Studios Productions, similar to the movie studio's logo at the time, is seen over a drum fanfare.]
Hey, watch out for Mountain Sized Meteor Park.
[The logo fades.]
Hey, big friggin' deal!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.