In this all-purpose, two-lid utility storage cabinet with 23-cubic-foot storage capacity...
MAMike [as Narrator]
Bodies stack easy.
S6The Dead Talk Back
[Over the "The End" card]
SAServo [as Ed McMahon]
And remember to buy Ed McMahon's Budweiser ice cream.
AAll
Hi-yo!
Leni Riefenstahl's most powerful film.
Hi-yo!
The Dead Talk Back (movie)
CCrow
[as a TV announcer] Tonight's episode: "The Dead Go Fishing" with special guest star Robert Culp.
[As a man in a trench coat runs towards a malfuctioning car]
And Creepy Triple-A is there.
[Close-up of crossbow being fired]
[singing] Shoot that poison arrow through my heaaaaaaa-aaart!
[There's some kind of audible fuzz on the soundtrack]
Is someone purring?
[Crow looks around for a bit.]
[Krasker is deep into a seance using a razor blade inside a wine glass.]
WWoman
I can't hear it clearly--
That's because it's A RAZOR BLADE IN A GLASS!!!
[Krasker lights up a cigar before the seance.]
CACrow [as Krasker/Bill Cosby]
And m' wife...came downstairs...her face...was split! Hah hah hah...razzim frazzim...
[During the end credits]
CCrow
Hey, I just realized something: They NEVER talked to the dead!
[Doing a fire drill on the SOL]
CCrow
There really is no place to go!
Well, still. We gotta meet code.
No talking in line!
[playing as hard-boiled detective and attempting to interrogate Mike] Hello, Nelson. Say, y'know, I kinda like this movie. I'm intrigued by the whole interrogation idea. So siddown! I wanna ask you a few questions! If you are who you say you are. And I wanna know what you did and what happened. No hurry; we've got all the time in the world.
[suddenly shouting] I did it! I did it! I did it!!
Did what, Frank?
Everything! I shot J.R! I killed that fat barkeep! I ate all the Frusen Glädjé! And y'know what? I'm glad I did it! Glad, I tell ya! Glad!! [maniacal laughter]
S6Zombie Nightmare
[The opening credits identify the heavy metal bands who contributed music to the soundtrack: Motorhead...]
Oh, Motorhead! I have their latest collection of Cole Porter tunes!
[...Girlschool...]
CCrow
Uh, that's Womanschool?
[...Thor...]
[lisping] Oh, I think Thor ith fabulouth.
[...Deathmask...]
Oh, Deathmask ! They played at my parents' anniversary party!
[...and Fist.]
And I saw Fist when they opened for Badfinger!
[Before the car hits Tony]
Don't worry, his area will protect him!
[Tony gets hit by car]
...Or not.
[After running over Tony, the music stops as the teens frantically clamor to each other and scramble to get out of the car.]
MAMike [as one of the teens]
I think we hit a moose!
CACrow [as one of the teens]
[hysterical] C'MON, TURN THE TAPE OVER!!!
[As Hank the grocer runs over to Tony's body]
CCrow
There's a deeeaaaaad hunk in the middle of the road! Dead boy!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.