[as two thieves engage in a fight, and one begins to attack using the exact same move]
SAServo [as thief]
Prepare for my overhand! [attack is blocked]
CACrow [as thief]
Or how about my overhand! [attack is blocked again]
JAJonah [as thief]
No? Well try my OVERHAND! [blocked again]
CSCrow, Servo, and Jonah
OVERHAND! [blocked] OVERHAND! [blocked]
SAServo [as thief]
You defeated my overhand, sir knight, but can you handle— [bandit uses the same attack again] PSYCH! Overhand! [blocked again]
[as the title card partially appears]
Hey title, don't go away. We just got to know you!
Carnival? Like in Rio? Oh.
[the word "Magic" begins to slowly reveal itself one letter at a time]
Oh, Carnival Magi- oh, Carnival Magic, I knew it the whole time, guys.
[Markov walks alone, talking to something offscreen, seemingly looking at Servo]
Now stop playing this is serious.
I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.
I can't spend all my time looking after you and worrying about what you're doing.
When you're right, you're right.
This isn't the first time it's happened, you know.
We agreed not to talk about that.
You just... you just won't be quiet, you think everyone's your friend because you trust so much.
We can try to stay clear of people, but...
They're everywhere, right?
... in time, they'll come into our lives and nothing will ever be the same again.
You mean when we ride the comet?
You know, I need time to myself too, you know.
Of course, master. Forgive me.
But you make noises so loud, everyone thinks I'm hiding a monster.
Again, let me apologize, I stepped out of line, and I'm sorry.
People are suspicious of things they don't understand.
Right, like the thing with the chicken.
And that's why I'm hiding you.
That makes sense, master. Let me go prepare your chamber.
But it's very hard to keep the world out.
I understand. We're all waiting for the day of the great translargement. It's going to be glorious. [returns to his seat]
I'll take "Potent Potables" for $200.
...when Sarah died, teaching you was all I had. It got me through.
What stage of grief is chimp-play?
CACrow [as Markov]
Your Beanie Baby obsession destroyed us.
And we can't stay together if... I can't feed you.
Oh, I get it, circle of life. Man loses wife, teaches chimp to talk, joins low-ranked carnival, goes broke, man and chimp starve in a trailer, seen it a hundred times, really.
CCarnie
Okay okay okay, here's where you get the big one, one in, you win- how about you, sir? Three balls for fifty cents, by golly, here's where you win the big one, just one in, you take home a beautiful goldfish. Everybody plays it! Come on in, sir, wait a minute, step right inside, sir...
JAJonah [as Toby Radloff/Comic Book Guy]
Uh, no. As a nerd, I do not partake in games of chance. I understand they are rigged in favor of the carnival against the laws of probability. On the other hand, I do need a new pair of belly-high pants. Oh no, I've attracted a crowd, the pressure's on...
[as Crow and Servo ogle a pair of scantily-clad dancing women]
Come on, guys. That's not cool.
But you dance all the time!
That's my private time, and- I- I didn't know you could see that either, okay?!
[Alex goes into an unlocked car, and a girl is seen sleeping in the back]
Why it's Missy O'Shea, the girl in the car!
[Alex starts the car up]
Grand Theft Auto: Chimp City.
Forget about that. Where's Missy O'Shea?!
Guys, let's not jump to any conclusions. Sure she's a girl in a car, but is she the girl in the car?
[during a random car chase]
CACrow [as Officer 1]
Breaker, breaker, we got a Carnival Magic in progress.
SAServo [as Officer 2]
Uh, Carnival Magic? What's that?
CACrow [as Officer 1]
That's when a second-rate producer has access to a carnival, so he writes a script in three days and pays all his actors in beer and cheese sticks.
SAServo [as Officer 2]
Oh right, and he pads out the movie with footage of sad children and a car chase that does nothing to further the plot, but makes the movie long enough so that way he can run it in theaters.
CACrow [as Officer 1]
Uh-huh, and it gets buried in a vault for years until mad scientists make a TV show where they force poor jerks to watch it, thus giving it a second life its makers never truly intended.
SAServo [as Officer 2]
Yeah, exactly. Carnival Magic.
[as onscreen text announces a potential sequel]
Oh, More Carnival Magic? No!
Oh yeah, Elvin Feltner produced a whole ton of Carnival Magic sequels, though when More Carnival Magic finally came out, it was titled 2 Magic 2 Carnival.
Huge hit, but nothing compared to the conclusion of the original trilogy, Carnival Magic 3: Return of the Girl in the Car.
Then Elvin Feltner kind of lost his way with the prequels. Alex was played by a CGI monkey instead of a real chimp.
And nobody really wanted to know the story of how Markov met Alex, and how Stoney and Bud got their hats.
They were really scraping the bottom of the barrel with that David spin-off movie when he went back home to save his dad's PR company from a hostile takeover by a bigger, eviler PR company.
Oh yeah, the whole Carnival Magic shared cinematic universe. At that point, the whole Carnival Magic movies were just 90-minute advertisements for the Carnival Magic toy lines.
But just when you thought the carnival magic was gone, they reboot the series with Carnival Magic Begins and remind America why it fell in love with talking chimps and greasy carnies in the first place.
I had no idea there were so many of these movies.
Elvin Feltner asked America a simple question: why couldn't you turn a trailer park into a movie studio?
And the answer was, people only want to spend so much time smack-dab in the path of a dangerous tornado lane.
True, but there's still something inspiring about it. A man who said, "If I want to make a movie, I don't need big stars, or a lot of money, or talent, or taste, or a sense of basic human decency."
"All I need is some trailers, an unsupervised primate, and a bunch of unemployed, locally salvaged almost actors."
Okay, now I think you're just being sarcastic.
Unfortunately, Trailer Park Productions' other movies weren't nearly as successful.
They tried a couple of disaster movies- Tornado, and The Night the Septic Tank Gave Out.
And of course the romantic comedies Van Rockers, and Marriage Bed Above the Driver's Seat.
I kind of liked the action movies he did: Maximum Towage.
Oh, and don't forget his sci-fi epic Cosmic Winnebago of the Fourth Dimension.
Guys, were any of these movies real?
I don't even think Carnival Magic was real, and we just watched it!
That's a good point. Did we really just watch a movie just now?
