Carnie and Jonah [as Toby Radloff/Comic Book Guy] in “Carnival Magic”

Okay okay okay, here's where you get the big one, one in, you win- how about you, sir? Three balls for fifty cents, by golly, here's where you win the big one, just one in, you take home a beautiful goldfish. Everybody plays it! Come on in, sir, wait a minute, step right inside, sir...

Uh, no. As a nerd, I do not partake in games of chance. I understand they are rigged in favor of the carnival against the laws of probability. On the other hand, I do need a new pair of belly-high pants. Oh no, I've attracted a crowd, the pressure's on...