TV show quotes
[Rowsdower and Troy have lost the pursuing cultists.]
Do you have any idea of what kind of people you're dealing with?
They're from Saskatchewan!
No.
It's a cult.
They worship blue oysters.
They want to rule the world.
How do you know?
I've been around, kid.
And I've been a square kid.
D'oh!
[Rowsdower again tries and fails to start his truck as the engine struggles.]
[imitating the engine] Rowsdower-er-er-er-er...
Go to hell!
Or at least Edmonton!
[Rowsdower and Troy enter an abandoned shack, Pipper's house, and discover food inside.]
FOOD!
Yeah, no beer, though.
Hey! Who goes there?!
More FOOD!
What the hell you doin' here?!
We were eating your FOOD!
[Rowsdower and Troy encounter Mike Pipper, a crazy old hermit, who holds them at gunpoint.]
McGreggor? Troy McGreggor? ...Thomas's son?
Yeah! Did you know him?
Know him? He was delicious!
[Rowsdower is trudging up a hill]
Hey, how'd he get his pants clean?
Say what you want about the filthy, grizzled guy, he does a good load of laundry.
. . .
[singing] You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, shovin' those sandwiches into your face, singing...
We will, we will ROWSDOWER!
SING IT!
[Servo stops singing, but Crow keeps going.]
We will, we... [normally] Oh, guess that's over.
[During the final confrontation Troy picks up a rifle and shoots Satoris in the back, who slowly turns to face him.]
You shot me in the butt! What the hell?! You shot me IN THE BUTT!
[The group sing as music plays and the credits start to roll]
Oh baby, Rowsdower saves us and saves all the world!
He comes to save the day in a broken truck.
With a stinky denim jacket on his back.
He couldn't help this movie, which really sucked!
But at least we didn't have to see him play [falters] h-hackey sack....
What?!
Sorry, I panicked.
They used to rule this land.
They ruled this one acre for about a week. Nobody knew.
[Troy is tied up and Rowsder gives him a knife to cut the rope]
I dropped it.
Which is the sharp side?
Um, I cut both my wrists.
Uh, I somehow swallowed the knife.
[The film's title is shown.]
The story of Aleister Crappie!
[Coming aboard the Seaquarium, Stella and Peter are looking for Dr. Janet.]
Janet! Janet!
Oh, sorry, I forgot. I'm nasty, Miss Jackson!
[Mad scientist Dr. Davis, armed with a gun, confronts WOI head Dr. West.]
Anyone who has the chance to tap the enormous reserves of the sea… will have the future, Doctor.
In his hands.
Exactly.
Yeah, thanks for helping me out there.
[Several squads of locals have volunteered to help the police and Coast Guard track down and burn the Devil Fish, while Peter acts as bait. They pour pink-tinted gasoline in the water.]
Deploy the Countrytime Pink Lemonade!
I bet they hired every nature-hating psycho in Dade County.
[Shot of skinny woman in bikini on raft]
See the Human Lady!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
